Have you ever thought “Man, I feel impossibly shitty and I don’t know why”?
Run through this checklist before you do anything else.
What have I eaten in the last 24 hours? Is it enough? If not, go and eat some food, you butt.
Am I hydrated? If not, put some fluids in your body, fool.
Have I slept an acceptable amount in the last 24 hours and preceeding few days? If not, do your utmost to have a nap. You need a reset, bro.
Have I been outside/partaken in whatever form of exercise I am capable of? You’re stagnating, homie.
Have I communicated with anyone? At all? About anything? In the last 24 hours? Sup, you’re not actually a lone wolf, and even if you’re just shouting BUTTLUMPS at someone over the intertubes, it’s better than shouting it at yourself inside your own head.
So basically: eat, drink, sleep, walk, and talk. If you still feel like emotional ass after that, start looking for more involved explanations.
This shit is no joke.
All of these are extremely important.
Adding: 6. Have I communicated too much? Am I overstimulated? Do I need some quiet time? Go stare at a blank wall in utter silence for a bit.
I try to go through this kind of checklist whenever I feel funky. It really helps.
If you’ve been through a horrible life event, you do not automatically have the right to invalidate other people’s struggles and pain. You do not have the right to be a jerk to people because “you’ve seen worse”.
you have a brain, you are capable of critical thinking, you can sift through the material and keep what is edifying for you and discard what isn’t
flaws don’t necessarily make material worthless
all right i queued this last night because i was already posting a lot and didn’t want to flood anyone’s dash but you guys i need to talk about this more.
like, okay. i grew up REALLY STRICT christian. like. every piece of media i consumed underwent a fine-toothed comb by my parents to be sure there wasn’t anything “sinful” in it. I got into a tearful, screaming fight with my mother over whether I was allowed to watch a piece of educational children’s material on PBS because one of the characters said “damn” once.
(I’m still not sure they did. In retrospect, I think my purity-focused mother misheard something and, having her suspicions confirmed that you couldn’t trust any “secular” source not to be sinful, reacted accordingly.)
(Pay attention, that parenthetical was also relevant.)
Do you know what my teenage rebellion was? Listening to the oldies station in the car when I had my driver’s license and could go places on my own. That was my big fuck-you to my parents: listening to the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel and the Fifth Dimension when they couldn’t tell me how I shouldn’t be listening to them because the creators of that music were drug-addled, free-loving atheists whose own disregard for God and religion might just infect my impressionable spirit. Like I was gonna listen to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and go do LSD and become an atheist. This was my teenage rebellion in the year 1999.
I’m 35 now. And all right so I became agnostic. But I didn’t become a drug addicted prostitute because I loved listening to psychedelic rock music as a teenager. (And you know what? Even if I had become a drug addicted prostitute, I’d still have worth as a human being, so dissect that one.) And it wasn’t even the psychedelic rock music that turned me agnostic: It was Christianity itself. But that’s another story altogether.
My point here is: Y’all are on here acting like my goddamn parents, “don’t watch this” and “don’t listen to that” because this character does XYZ problematic thing and this author said ABC ignorant thing two years ago at a con when they were put on the spot in an interview. If you watch this movie where a teenager falls in love with someone five years older than them, you’re going to become a pedophile! If you read this book by an author who once used an outdated term for someone in the trans community, then you’re a transphobe!
Y’all need to sit the fuck down and stop acting like nobody ever taught you to think for yourself, because I know damn well that you’re capable of critical thought and you don’t need your media chewed up and spit into your mouth like a baby bird. And I’m an adult and I sure the hell don’t, so stop telling me I’m going to choke because I’m consuming something complicated, complex, and not already pre-morally-dissected for me.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Maybe slightly off-topic, but super-strict parents who are obsessed with keeping their kids “pure” and preventing them from seeing something even slightly “ungodly” has turned off kids to Christianity far more than the actual “sinful” content they might consume.
You have to have some faith in people to be able to discern things for themselves. If you police content to such an extreme degree that everything has to be “clean” and “pure” you’re basically saying you think the people viewing it are too stupid to know right from wrong.
So I dunno how many people know this but if you go to burgerking and order anything at all off the menu, even just a drink, you get two little surveys on the back of the receipt
Each survey can get you a free whopper burger or a chicken sandwich with the purchase of any drink (even the $1 drink)
Just fill out the survey and get the code and write it on the back.
If you are short on money and really need a substantial meal, you can keep doing this cycle of getting receipts and free sandwiches for as long as you like
Idk I thought this might help people who are hard up for cash. This works in the US.
reblog 2 save a hungry tummy maybe?
these surveys actually saved me as a child growing up with a neglectful, mentally ill mother. shout out 2 every hood burger king
Stuff I’ve learned this year since being homeless:
Most McDonald’s also have one survey on their receipts with every purchase that can range from “buy one get one free,” “free with a purchase” or just straight up free food (one of my local McD’s has a free McFlurry if you do the survey so I’ll buy a McChicken sandwich and large dollar drink from a kiosk so I can customize the sandwich, use their WiFi to do the survey and then get my McFlurry for desert). I’ve noticed it’s different at every restaurant.
El Pollo Loco’s survey gives you $1 off of anything $5 and over, and they have a few $5 bowl combos that get you a chicken bowl, a small drink and either chips or tortillas. For those who can’t stomach spice I suggest the Caesar bowl with chips for a meal.
Jack In The Box usually has a “buy one get one free” offer for a Supreme Croissant or Jumbo Jack. Both are served all day.
Don’t bother with Wendy’s surveys but if you have enough for one of their “Pick Four” combos that’s a really good deal. Lots of food for a low price.
While not a survey per se, sign up at Denny’s for their mailing list and you can get emailed surveys with 20% off an order or other goodies if you have more money to splurge. Also their $2 / $4 / $6 / $8 menu has been a godsend for me and my mom while we’ve been homeless. And also remember if you go there and get a drink with unlimited refills you can ask for a drink to go as part of your order (I usually get a coffee to go, add flavored creamer at the restaurant and then drink it in the morning).
Also! Coffee fiends: Starbucks has their plain hot coffee for under $2 for a tall and refills are only fifty cents. You can ask for space for cream if you need it and that’s at the bar. Most will also give you any size ice water or hot water you ask for free of charge (at least in California) including venti.
I love kids they’re all like.. “when i grow up i’m gonna be an astronaut and a chef and a doctor and an olympic swimmer” like that self confidence! That drive! That optimism! Where does it go
It gets destroyed by adults not believing in you and telling you to pick a realistic career. And by society creating all these obstacles to the point that you’re too tired to try.
But they’re not really unrealistic, SOMEBODY is going to be an olympic swimmer and it might as well be you.
Actually I want to talk about this a little more than I did, because olympic swimming is incredible and works perfectly to talk about attaining goals.
I used to be a varsity swimmer, and I was damn good, but I was forced into it by my parents and completely lost my love for it and therein my drive. But in high school I was swimming against such talented swimmers like Olympic Swimmer Missy Franklin. I’ve met her, and the main difference between her and me was that I was strong but had no passion, but she was strong BECAUSE she had passion.
And I could have been good, really good, maybe even Olympic good. I even have the predisposition for it, been swimming since I was 2 years old, have a mom who was almost an olympic swimmer. Missy didn’t have either of those things, she just wanted it, loved it, had been doing it for a long time, and decided she was going to kick ass at it.
Right, that’s great and all, but I completely missed my opportunity to be an olympic swimmer, yeah? and can never achieve those dreams I had as a kid? No, not even though. There was this whole thought that female athletes peak when they’re 17 years old and lose their skills quickly after that, and male athletes peak around 19. But then Olympic Swimmer Dara Torres shows up. She was an olympic swimmer when she was 17, 21 and 25. Pretty normal age for retirement. She had a few kids. She kicked butt at being a mom.
And then at 33 years old she decides she’s bored or something gets back in shape and kicks so much ass at the trials that she lands herself on the Olympic Team ONCE AGAIN. And then 8 years later, she decides, heck I’m 41 now, no one has ever made the olympic swim team as old as I am, I want to get in shape yet again and teach these children how sports work.
And she still has the record for oldest US Olympic Swimmer, not even any men have beat out that record.
So basically what I’m saying is you could be an olympic swimmer, you really could be. And there are obviously a lot of things stopping you and trying to get in your way: your brain, society, too much chocolate cake for example. But if you really dedicate yourself to it and love it with all of your heart you could, you really could.
And lets say olympic swimming isn’t your jam? That’s cool too. There isn’t a single skill in this world that you can’t learn if you absolutely love it and want to. Any skill you want is going to take time. There are countless famous people who started learning a skill after 20, 30, 40, or even 50. Not a single person has even been president under age 35 (most likely because you’re not allowed to be, but there’s a reason for that). Whatever you want to do you’re probably going to be bad at first, and I’m talking really shitty.
Van Gogh got started in his 20′s and was thought to have no artistic talent at first and was forced to sit in the back of classrooms where the worst artists in the class sat. So yeah you’ll probably be bad, like really bad and everyone including you will think you’re bad. If you stick with it though, if you’re willing to work for years and years, if you keep loving it after all the pain it’s given you,
then you might just paint Starry Night.
#looks like there’s still time for me to learn how to draw
… YES. As someone who started drawing at 35 and who always was like: ‘eh, I can’t draw a stick figure to save my life, but I would love to be able to’ this is near and dear to my heart. If you want to draw, start drawing. Keep drawing. Be shit at drawing at first. Keep it up, doodle things on scraps but also draw stuff you don’t think you can draw. Challenge yourself, you will be surprised what you can do. It will be frustrating at times, but it will also be awesome. It is SO much a matter of practice and dedication, not talent.
You know what I hate is the concept of “real parents” when it comes to biological parents. If an adoptive parent was a good parent to you, they’re the one who was their for you and a real parent. Like biological parents can be utter garbage and nothing like a real parent. It’s about what someone does with their kids, how they treat them, if they respect their kids and are their for them. Blood doesn’t mean a damn thing, you don’t owe blood a damn thing. It’s all about actions and that’s it, only thing blood matters for is what kind of diseases you have a genetic predisposition for; family is all about the actions people took
I just hate that narrative a lot. Someone finds out their adopted in media and goes looking for their “real mom”, when they have someone who was genuinely good to them the whole time. Get ready to be disappointed when flesh and blood may not be as good as the person who actually was their and loved you this whole time
Here are some tips that will hopefully help you feel less anxious when you have to make a phone call because phone calls suck and are the worst
1. Remember that it is a system and it’s usually the same every time.
People who work on-phone jobs have scripts that they follow. Yours can line right up with theirs and once you take some notes on what to say, you don’t really have to say new things every time
2. Taking notes before a call is okay and good
I almost always write down what I have to say before I call, just so I don’t forget anything. It’ll help you relax if you have your talking points in physical order in front of you.
3. Say “Thank you, have a nice day” after the call is done. It masks your anxiety and it’s an easy social script to throw in there.
4. EASY SCRIPT: “[reason you are calling], can you help me?”
People aren’t weird about you not knowing what to do in a call. It’s their job to know and to help you. You can even straight-up admit you’ve never called for that reason before, they’ll help you.
“I need to schedule a doctor’s appointment, can you help me?”
“I forgot my account’s routing number, can you help me?”
“I got locked out of my building, can you help me?”
“I have a problem with my computer, can you help me?”
It’s a really easy way to get them to lead the conversation, and it transitions you into a usually simple series of steps that they will tell you how to do. Basically all you have to do from this point is what they tell you to do.
5. “So what is my next step?”
This is what you ask when you get confused and you’re not sure what you’re supposed to do next. It’s the Adult Version of “what am I supposed to do?” Ask this and they’ll give you a specific task. Things like this are a lot less confusing and stressful when somebody who knows their stuff just gives you a check-box.
6. Remember that the person you’re calling will forget all about you as soon as you get off the phone.
I work a phone job. You get a million calls a day. They all blend into each other. The person you’re calling won’t remember you, they won’t remember your name, they won’t remember if you stuttered while talking to them, they won’t remember if you were awkward or forgot information or messed up. Really. The whole experience stops existing as soon as you hang up the phone. Awkwardness totally erased.
Everybody hates phone calls. But they’re not so bad when you have a system down.
(all of which are based on things I see tourists doing every single year. You frighten us. Seriously. We know you haven’t been taught any better, so this is an attempt to help)
I know not everyone is swimming between the
flags at the beach. I know. It’s because locals
know what a rip looks like, know where all the rocks are, and know when the
tide is going in or out. And you know what? We still find ourselves in trouble.
But we’re all usually experienced enough that we can stay afloat on the
rare occasions we actually need rescuing, and everyone knows you’re an idiot
and calls you such when you get out. You do not, and you’re also in the way of
surfers (surfboards, by the way, do not have brakes). Stay between the flags.
Watch your children at the rockpools. Seriously.
Tell them that looking is fine, but under no circumstances are they to put
their hand in the water, and they DEFINITELY shouldn’t try to pick anything up.
If you’re driving home from the beach and your kid (or anyone) is unusually
tired, GET THEM TO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY. They may have been bitten by a
blue-ringed octopus, in which case they’ll need emergency treatment.
Those blue jellyfish-like things that wash up on
the beach? They’re a Portuguese Man O’ War, or bluebottle. They’re not dead –
just stuck until the tide comes back. Don’t touch them – their sting HURTS. Hot
water helps. You shouldn’t need a doctor, but it won’t hurt to get it checked
out if you think you’re having an allergic reaction. Also, don’t pop the tops
of the little guys – that’s just cruel.
Similarly, don’t stomp on the little molluscs and
things growing on the rocks. I’ve seen so many kids make a game of this. They’re
not dangerous, but they are living creatures. (Also, don’t walk near them
barefoot. Trust me – I’ve made that mistake myself)
It’s recently been brought to my attention that
other countries don’t have this, so I’ll add it here – if you hear a continuous
horn/beep/siren at the beach, that’s a shark alarm. It’s a good idea to get out
of the water at that point.
The size or hairiness of a spider has nothing to
do with how venomous it is. See: huntsman spider vs. redback spider.
If it’s summer, wear sunscreen. I don’t care if
it’s overcast. Skin cancer is one of the biggest killers here, and that’s for
people who are used to our sunlight. Not to mention that it IS possible to get
so sunburnt that you can’t even wear a shirt. I remember attendance at my
school dropped 50% after one carnival because no-one could get their uniform on.
Feel free to add more in reblogs! I will be doing so as I think of them.
ifesbob 