A clinician I saw recently said something that really struck a chord with me, and I feel like a lot of other disabled people could do with hearing it.
When he asked me what I did with my days at the moment, I explained the current situation (which is that I’m unemployed, out of education, and mostly housebound), and told him that I really wasn’t busy at all. I tried to play it off as a joke, like I always do, but he seemed to take it seriously.
He said: “It sounds to me like you’re very busy, you’re just busy taking care of things that most people don’t have to worry about.”
And that’s true. I don’t really get to think about it like that, because I’ve been told over and over again by people in my life that I just need to “try harder, do more, be busy” until everything just sort of… works itself out. But I am busy – I have to keep myself distracted to deal with psychotic symptoms that I currently don’t have any medication for, I have to spend a lot of time resting so I’m not in as much pain and have the energy to do what I need to do, it takes me significantly longer (and more effort) to do basic self-care tasks and chores… The list goes on.
So if anyone’s out there in a similar situation to me, feeling like you’re not really doing anything, remember that you are, it’s just not what abled people would consider “activity”. And I understand that it’s boring and isolating and downright miserable a lot of the time, and no one should have to put up with this permanently, but stick with it, and know that you’re busy, and you’re doing good.
PSA: no name is impossible to pronounce. no name is too hard to learn, no name is justifiably butchered. kids with ‘different’ names should be taught again and again that being called by their name is a right, not a privilege
there are over 2000 unique phonemes (individual sounds) in the world’s languages, and each language has anywhere from around 20 to 60. you stop learning new phonemes it’s theorized at around age 12. this is where accents come from – using your own language’s/region’s phonemes to speak
so no name is impossible to pronounce world-wide, but it is very easy to not have the linguistic archive necessary to pronounce a given name entirely correctly. it is a simple case of physically not knowing where to place your tongue, whether or not to vibrate your vocal chords, etc. the only one of the dictators of sound you could be shown is how to position your lips
that being said… obviously you should still try. saying a name as correctly as you physically can goes a long way for making someone feel respected and humanized, and dismissing a name entirely as too hard goes a long way to disrespect and dehumanize people. just also accept that someone’s accent interfering with their pronunciation isn’t a sign of lack of trying, but a sign of physical limits
This is very true. I met a baby at my old store whose name was Navajo. I did my best and actually got a bit frustrated because there was a syllable I could NOT get, and her dad was like “it’s very hard if you don’t actually speak Diné, but thank you. Most people won’t even try.”
Be the one who tries.
Yes, there’s a big difference between getting as close as you can with your native language’s phonology, and just not even trying
“Be the one who tries.”
Be the one who tries.
I once spent days whispering a girls name to myself under my breath trying to get it right so the next time I saw her I could pronounce it correctly. I still got it wrong. but the fact that I tried made her so happy I’ll never forget the smile she gave me.
I make a habit of asking every Uber driver ever “is this how I say it or did I butcher it”?
Maybe he’s ordering a decaf because he has a heart condition, and you’re about to give him a heart attack and send him to the hospital.
Or maybe he’s just ordering a decaf.
Maybe she’s ordering sugar free because she’s diabetic, and you’re about to put her six feet under.
Or maybe she’s just ordering sugar free,
Maybe they’re ordering non-dairy because they’re intolerant, and you’re about to ruin their day. Maybe they’re allergic, and you’re about to sponsor an all black event in an open field.
Or maybe they’re just ordering non-dairy.
Maybe they ordered gluten free because they can’t process it, and you’re about to destroy their digestive tract.
Or maybe they’re just ordering gluten free.
Maybe they’re ordering this way just because they don’t want the food, for whatever reason.
Yo, consider donating to Wikipedia, reasons for why they mainly point out for themselves, but they really aren’t asking for much. With so few good companies left that honestly want to help their people and spread knowledge instead of selling us to advertisers, lets try to keep them afloat! I don’t care if you use them to remember something about a character from your favorite series, or for learning about actors, or getting a more comprehensible summary for whatever your teacher was talking about in class. Please help keep this sorce of information available for everyone!
Reminder to donate!!! I got mine today and for the first time in my life I used my card online because this is extremely important to keep this place running. Please donate as much as you can!!!
I grew out of “I never text first” phase, since I realized nothing was wrong with showing someone, you care about them more than your pride
Everyone needs to grow out of the “I never text first phase” sooner rather than later.
In friend groups there is always someone who is always initiating the conversation with everyone they know. It is utterly exhausting, and it leaves them feeling like the friendship would not continue if they weren’t putting in the effort. Do them a favor and start the conversation first for once. It means something.
ifesbob 