just because someone can articulate their point better doesn’t make them right, it makes them articulated.
and you aren’t stupid for having trouble articulating yourself.
Tag: important
blog about what you love and don’t let strangers on the internet ruin it for you
YES. Make things clearer and more specific
Especially the first one! I have a really hard time knowing if somebody actually wants me to do something unless they are specific about the task and direct it towards me completely.
This is some adhd/autism solidarity Mood™️
Passive vs direct communication.
Some people are capable of having entire conversations in passive tone through subtext. I’m one of them (it’s not healthy), but this completely falls apart when you encounter someone only used to dealing with direct communication.
It’s one of the things ETD and I actually struggle with. I was conditioned never to make direct statements or requests of someone, because it was considered “rude”. The end result of this of course is that people don’t actually understand what you’re saying, and then spend a good portion of their lives feeling upset and hurt that no one seems to deem you worthy enough to listen to, and you just end up wiping the table clean yourself in frustration because why fucking bother to ask, no one listens.
Except you didn’t ask, did you. You made a statement. And some people won’t view that statement as anything other than a passing comment about the table needing to be cleaned.
(You could argue that on seeing the table needs cleaned, it should be done anyway, but that’s another topic for discussion.)
Life gets so much easier when you stop speaking in subtext, and actually say what you mean, both for those who require direct communication to navigate the rollercoaster that is social schema, but also for yourself in general.
Why do I have a plastic hairbrush?
My friend was visiting me the other day and as she sat in my living room she noticed my plastic hairbrush on the table.
“Why do you have a plastic hairbrush I thought you care about nature and you try to avoid plastic!”
Why? Because I can still use it. I have had this brush for cca 12 years. It is not broken. It’s fine. And I will have it for as long as it works and then buy a good alternative. We don’t throw away things that work perfectly fine just to prove to other people, that we care. We use the things we have FIRST!
There is no need for buying a stainless steel lunch box if you can still use an old plastic one. It’s fine.
USE WHAT YOU HAVE FIRST and when it no longer works like it should, dispose of it responsibly and then get a good alternative. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
Love
K.
Also, durable plastic is not nearly as much of a problem as single use plastic.
Many people can’t afford a wood and bristle hair brush anyway…they’re like six times more expensive.
Reminder that the aesthetics of green living aren’t the same as actually making good ethical decisions about the resources you have access to.
Mega corporations and the rich created the plastic problem, not people with fuckin combs, Debbie
Okay, but THIS.
My therapist only recently understood that when I said, “I don’t know how to make this phone call or make this appointment.” I very literally meant I didn’t know what to do. I can dial the phone, but what do I say EXACTLY? What questions are going to be asked? What do I need to have on hand? What if they ask me something I don’t know the answer to?
I’m one of those people that needs very specific and detailed instructions if I’m doing something for the first time.
Be patient with people. We all have our struggles. Sometimes it can make all the difference in the world knowing someone can spare a few minutes to care about you and walk you through something that’s hard for you.
Saw a post where someone made fun of another persons atypical way of typing and when they were then told that the person in question type like that because of a disability, they went “how was I supposed to just know that?” – and in case anyone wasn’t aware the answer to that kind of fuckery is:
“You’re not supposed to know that, you’re just supposed to not make fun of anyone’s harmless differences regardless of whether they’re disabled or not. You’re not supposed to be able to tell “weird” abled neurotypicals and disabled/mentally ill people apart, you’re just supposed to treat people with respect generally speaking. It’s not that hard. “I didn’t know they were disabled” is just not the excuse you think it is cause you’re not supposed to make fun of anyone for completely harmless differences regardless of whether said differences are related to a disability or not.
It’s okay to be a beginner at the things you are interested in. There is no reason to feel intimidated by people more advanced than you are, because they too were in your place at one point. Keep learning and growing and expanding in whatever it is that you love and let nothing and no one stop you. You don’t have to be at the same stage as someone else. You can just be at your stage and that one is okay too.
I’m putting my foot down, if you don’t Know you’re flirting you’re not Flirting. Flirting requires knowledge and intent. If you’re not doing it on purpose you’re just bantering. I will die on this hill, yes.
“Get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water, and one is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself very quickly, right, within a couple of weeks. So there you go. It’s our theory of addiction. Bruce comes along in the ‘70s and said, “Well, hang on a minute. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do. Let’s try this a little bit differently.” So Bruce built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything your rat about town could want, it’s got in Rat Park. It’s got lovely food. It’s got sex. It’s got loads of other rats to be friends with. It’s got loads of colored balls. Everything your rat could want. And they’ve got both the water bottles. They’ve got the drugged water and the normal water. But here’s the fascinating thing. In Rat Park, they don’t like the drugged water. They hardly use any of it. None of them ever overdose. None of them ever use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. There’s a really interesting human example I’ll tell you about in a minute, but what Bruce says is that shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. So the right-wing theory is it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment. […] We’ve created a society where significant numbers of our fellow citizens cannot bear to be present in their lives without being drugged, right? We’ve created a hyperconsumerist, hyperindividualist, isolated world that is, for a lot of people, much more like that first cage than it is like the bonded, connected cages that we need. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of our society, is geared towards making us connect with things. If you are not a good consumer capitalist citizen, if you’re spending your time bonding with the people around you and not buying stuff—in fact, we are trained from a very young age to focus our hopes and our dreams and our ambitions on things we can buy and consume. And drug addiction is really a subset of that.”
— Johann Hari, Does Capitalism Drive Drug Addiction?
This is so fucking important, I cannot cannot cannot stress enough how important this is.
I wish I lived in Rat Park instead of capitalism
ifesbob 