Listen. I’m disabled. I broke my spine in an accident that was technically my brother’s negligent fault when I was nine.
I live in constant pain. The most effective pain medication for me is cbd cream, and it works straight up miracles as far as I’m concerned. But even released from my constant (chronic) pain, I have limitations.
If I write a story about someone with an agonizing disability who gets their shattered body repaired by benevolent mystical/alien/whatever forces, it’s not me removing representation. It’s my fantasy of being able to walk across my house without hurting or losing feeling in one leg because of how pressure distributes in the small of my back.
I get to have that. I should get to have that without being shamed for it.
happy almost valentines day this is a reminder that singles, aromantics, and asexuals are valid and that a lack of romantic or sexual interest does not devalue you as a person
Every almost Valentine’s Day this post keeps getting notes and I’m just super glad that this message is spreading farther. Have a good Valentine’s Day, you’re valid even if you don’t experience sexual or romantic attraction and even if you don’t have a partner.
Just because someone is providing you a service doesn’t mean you need to accept whatever you’re given.
This whole “Don’t be a Karen thing” has gotten annoying, to the point where I’m overhearing people being shamed because they dared to ask for what they paid for and that’s “being a Karen.”
If your food is wrong and you ask politely for your correct order that is not being a Karen.
If you don’t like the color on your nails after your nail tech does one finger and you ask politely for a different one that is not being a Karen.
If you order something online and it’s damaged and you politely ask customer service for a refund that is not being a Karen.
If you hire a contractor and he did bad work so you ask him politely to fix it that’s not being a Karen.
Like what is it with people thinking that the only way to be a good customer is to just smile and accept anything? It’s not. If you paid for something then you deserve what you paid for, nothing more and nothing less.
If you demand more, you’re an entitled Karen. If you accept anything and everything less because “it’s rude” to ask for what you paid for then you’re a doormat Susan.
The difference is in HOW you react to getting the wrong thing. It doesn’t take much effort to just take a breath and politely ask for what you paid for.
Going out of your way to cause a scene and acting all arrogant and entitled over any tiny thing that’s easily fixed? Thats a Karen.
This is based on decades of experience as an uncle and as an older brother.
Never forget that children are just as much people as adults are.
Kids 10 years or younger (and sometimes older than that) don’t get sarcasm or irony, so don’t use them.
If a child has difficulty pronouncing a word, don’t copy their misprounciation when speaking to them. They can hear the word just fine. It could sound to them like you’re making fun of them.
(Yes, this means no babytalk)
Don’t be dismissive.
Listen to what they’re saying.
To get on the same eye-level, don’t bend over or squat: it seems condescending. Kneeling or sitting are better.
It should go without saying that you should respect children’s body autonomy. Don’t force affection on them.
Respect children’s emotional autonomy as well. Let them be angry. Let them be sad. Don’t force them to be happy.
Let children like things. Don’t run down the things they like just because you find them cringy.
Don’t think that you know better.
To children, adults are giants. Be a big friendly giant.
Don’t stifle children’s curiosity.
Don’t stifle children’s enthusiasm.
To quote Sondheim, “Be careful the words you say, children will listen.”
Don’t look down on children.
As a developmentally disabled person, I’ll add to also not use baby talk to disabled kids. You aren’t making yourself more easily understood, you just look like a real jerk.
Also: don’t assume that if a kid can’t articulate something, it means they aren’t thinking about it.
We do a lot of things in the name of common courtesy that are mildly inconvenient to us.
If you piss on a toilet seat, you wipe it up. Failing to do so is obnoxious and uncivilized behavior that almost everyone agrees is gross and bad. People who won’t spend five seconds to wipe off their dribbled urine are reviled for their laziness and lack of consideration.
If you’re riding a bus and fully able to stand, you give up your seat so that someone heavily pregnant or with mobility problems can sit. You might not want to stand, but this is generally agreed on to be a very basic expectation for appropriate behavior. We look down upon people who refuse to make this small sacrifice for no good reason other than not wanting to.
We make small changes to our own lives in order to make big differences for others all the time. That’s a fundamental part of what we consider to be human, to be courteous, to be civilized and mature. That’s how we are able to function as a society. You wouldn’t defend pissing on toilet seats and leaving it, or making pregnant people stand on a bus, or slamming the door in the face of someone walking behind you—and if you would, you probably realize that you’re going to be regarded as an unpleasant and immature asshole with an ego problem.
Making an effort to use someone’s correct name and/or pronouns is much less of an inconvenience than picking up your dog’s shit or wiping off a toilet or giving up your seat on the bus. You actually don’t have to whine about how hard it is or how difficult it is to adjust your language to show respect. What may be one small inconvenience is something much bigger for others, and it doesn’t hurt you or even expose you to bodily waste products to make the effort.
This is the bare minimum of decent human behavior for ANY gender. If you are an adult and someone who is not an adult wants to have a relationship with you, it is your duty to, at bare minimum, turn them away.
and like… having crushes on adults is a Normal Adolescent Thing, but it doesn’t mean they’re ready for–or for that matter, want–an actual relationship with said adult. it’s a goddamn developmental phase for kids working out their sexuality, and treating it as a chance to get laid is fucking monstrous.
ifesbob 