this is what the authors of this fic look like in real life
To put some scale to that word count (2,979,897—two million, nine hundred and seventy-nine thousand, eight hundred and ninety-seven);
War & Peace has 587,287 words;
The King James Bible has 783,137 words, and;
A novel averages out at in and around 75,000-100,000 words.
So 2,979,897 is a LOT.
wait so if my math is correct thats approximately seven thousand five hundred and fourty four words a DAY
okay theres fourteen of them so thats about five hundred and thirty nine per person per day which is doable but STILL
Just so you know, it’s not that simple. Eight of those people have been gone since the 100th chapter or so. Our current group is the first six people on the list of contributors. 🙂
fourth wall breaks are almost always used for comedy. but what if they were used for horror as well.
consider a story where the characters are gradually made aware of how completely their very existence depends on the whims of an all-powerful, not necessarily merciful, author who cannot be reasoned or bargained with. perhaps they first realize that the only memories they have are those specifically written for them. then maybe they start to see the narrowness of the path they’re confined to by the plot. and as they become more aware of the nature of their existence, they realize that everything they do is determined – even if they rebel against the choices presented to them, it isn’t really their own free will, but that of the author. and eventually they understand that not only are they entirely trapped in the narrative the author writes for them, but being used for entertainment by watchers who are almost equally powerless – except they chose to stay and watch. and finally, they look directly into your eyes, utterly hopeless and betrayed – and there the story ends.
So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.
Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.
One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.
All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.
So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.
And Mr. Hargrove loved it.
It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.
Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”
And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.
Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.
One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.
That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.
And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.
And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)
So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.
Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.
i actually wanted to elaborate on this and say that i think it’s a really bad habit of a lot of artists, influenced by current media casting practices, to unconsciously or consciously make every single character they create super pretty, like everyone is just hot in that very boring, homogenous way, and this also comes as a result of people using actors and celebrities as character references or faceclaims and AI facial generation programs like Artbreeder being trained on people who are generally very pretty-looking. it results in alienating, uncanny worlds and drawings completely devoid of people who just look like regular people. it results worlds populated by mannequins fresh off the CW. I feel like whether a character is attractive or not should actually matter, be part of their character, because that kind of thing absolutely affects the way you move through the world and the way the world treats you.
so i wanted to throw in some suggestions that, whenever I’m trying to find a character reference or otherwise draw very interesting-looking yet regular-looking people, which i usually have to do for bit characters in @ikroah or something, I tend to look for references in the following places. these are far from the only reliable way to get inspiration, this is just a non-exhaustive list of places i’ve looked before for visual inspiration when needing to create a character, whether starring characters or background ones:
pre-2000s television (The Sopranos and Twin Peaks especially having incredible character design)
extras in comedy sketch shows
esports players
real photos (not staged stock photos) of line cooks
70s baseball players
athletes from more obscure olympic sports like the javelin toss or greco-roman wrestling, especially if you’re looking for a specific body type
ska, jazz, and blues musicians
firefighters
improv troupes
for teenagers, searching “high school english class project” on youtube and sorting by Upload Date
state senators, small-town mayors, and generally obscure local government positions like comptroller or treasurer (yes i know politicians can be bad sometimes but smaller elections especially don’t really depend on looks)
people who walk by your window (if you live in a city like I do)
and again these are just, in my opinion, deep and easy wells to dive in if you want to get a good idea of what regular people look like. these suggestions aren’t the limits on where you can possibly find inspiration for character design
if you’re white and wanna write a poc character and feel awkward about it i implore you to ignore any twitblr stuff treating it as a massive ethical burden and instead come in more with the same mindset you’d have if you wanted to write about idk firefighters but didn’t know anything about firefighters so you do… research. Like fuck off with the weird kinda creepy calls for spiritual introspection you’re not writing about god damn space aliens you’re writing about humans and if you think you need more perspective of different life experiences just read?
What if the evil fashion designer wanted to skin puppies because she was evil? What if the guy that stabbed a bunch of teenagers did that because he wanted to stab a bunch of teenagers? What if the evil witch wanted to cook and eat children because she was–you guessed it!–evil? Why’s everybody gotta have some tragic backstory for sympathy points? Boo! I want to see some unrepentant bastard do bastardly things and, perhaps, a woman covered in blood, also.
Everyone thinks their villain can be goob from meet the robinsons. Your villain will never be goob from meet the robinsons. Just make them evil.
One of my all time favorite stories is Emergency Skin by N.K. Jemisin. She nails this idea. And, because N.K. Jemisin is a fucking force, it won the Hugo Award for Best Novelette in 2020. It’s shockingly good, please go read it.
There’s an old school Ray Bradbury story where white people make all the blacks emigrate to Mars, and then a couple generations later, white folks come to Mars asking for help bc they fucked up Earth.
it’s called the martian chronicles!! it’s my favorite book ever, a really good read and has a lot of colonization and capitalism and racism commentary, all which still ring true even 60 years later. if you don’t want to read a whole book, it’s set up as little bits-sized vignettes that are all slightly connected but also fun on their own. also mars has wine rivers which is the single goofiest and awesomest sci fi worldbuilding ever
It was supposed to be humanity’s fresh start. A new Eden.
They piled into the rocket ships, strapped into tight, uncomfortable space suits, crammed together in tiny passenger cabins, sweating and nervous. The ships were packed with everything they’d need. There were thousands of panes of glass, made up of the melted sands of beaches no human toes would wriggle into ever again. There were stores of freeze-dried foods, hard and chewy and unappealing; the fruits of their home, the last to sustain them. The final provisions of Eden. There were seeds, the best and hardiest which could be found, stored in coolers of dry ice, kept sleeping. Seeds which would wake on a new planet, with unfamiliar soil, and soak in the same sun – more distant now, but familiar and comforting.
They were seeds. The seeds of humanity. The best. The most successful. The ones who had proven their worth through accruing the most gold, the most things. They were the ones who could be counted upon to force this new planet to their will. They were ruthless; they were clever; they were thoroughly human. In a state of nature, they would turn that cleverness, that instinct towards self-preservation, on one another. They would tear each other apart over the best land, the best food, the best sexual partners. But they were above nature. They had conquered it once, stripped it of its flesh, and left it a dying corpse. Their appetites would ensure their species survived beyond the husk of Earth. They could start again, they would conquer a new planet. Their descendants would battle it out in the economies of Mars, the fittest would be successful, would drive development and prompt the flourishing of a new humanity. A new Eden.
The work was hard – much harder than they were used to. Machines assembled the domes, built and programmed by scientists who had mostly been left behind. But they had been well-compensated, in the petty currencies of Earth. The Martians waited, chewing on their freeze-dried rations and watching the domes assemble themselves. When one machine broke down and wouldn’t start again, they scratched their heads and tried to figure out how to fix it.
They were the best of humanity; the cleverest. They examined the machine. They tried to figure out who would fix it. Fighting broke out. That was what humans did. Eventually one of the original scientists lucky enough to come on the mission figured it out. The machine ground back to life and continued its task. But they were far behind schedule now.
The domes rose up around them and were pumped full of oxygen. The blue-tinted glass almost looked like home. It almost looked like the oceans they had left behind. Their drones tilled and worked the soil, while the best of humanity tried to figure out how to arrange their land claims. They squabbled over plots of nearby land, knowing that this site they currently inhabited would one day become a historic landmark, attracting tourists from all over the solar system and beyond to see the place where humanity began anew, where their journey across the stars truly began. Tourists who brought money, tourists who made them richer still. The wiser among them took enormous swathes of land on the other side of the plant, investing in their family interest far, far down the line.
While they divided and claimed and began searching for minerals and resources beneath their blue-tinted glass, they barely ever looked back at the home they had left behind. Earth was gone. There was no more to be extracted from it, save perhaps its water. A few of the Martians began to hash out water rights to Earth: who had the privilege of importing all of that life-sustaining liquid to this new planet? Sure, they could manufacture water. All it took was a little oxygen and some hydrogen – hardly scarce chemical resources. But people liked to have authentic water. Real Earth water. They could bottle it and sell it at a premium. They could dupe their less intelligent Martians into believing they were connecting with their roots, absorbing the life-energy of the original Eden. But first they needed to find fuel for their rocket ships. They needed to power their generators and their machines. Their supplies of uranium were dwindling. Though there was plenty of ore available, they hadn’t yet set up methods of enrichment. They had diverted too much energy into exploration, into claiming and dividing the surface of the planet. Their rovers had travelled far, eating up fuel. They had sabotaged one another’s missions, hoping to claim the most valuable tracts of land for themselves, wasting resources. Hundreds of rovers lay destroyed around the planet, their parts unreachable, unsalvageable.
When they did finally look to Earth, in discussing the possibility of redirecting some of their uranium supply into a delivery mission in search of fuel, they were shocked by what they saw.
Humans.
Not as many as there had been before the Martians abandoned their planet, but nearly as many. Certainly enough.
The climates were still unstable, but they hadn’t worsened as they had predicted. Forests had encroached on former human settlements, turning subdivisions into nature parks. Their telescopes scanned the surface and found new development – more concentrated, but there. They couldn’t work out how the Earthlings had managed to feed themselves: they could not see the patchwork of fields. They had grown over. They could not figure out how the Earthlings, the worst of Humanity, had managed to turn the planet around. But the eyes of the Martians filled with the hunger of opportunity.
Some of them had never ceded their land rights, not bothering to make the symbolic gestures of their comrades, those who had publicly donated their lands in exchange for one last dose of celebrity. Those few began to formulate a new plan.
They built a new rocket ship. They filled it with precious refined uranium and freeze-dried rations for the long trip back to their land titles. They told their fellow Martians they were going to retrieve more fuel, and bring back labourers to help enhance some of their social experiences. Robots really weren’t a replacement for a good waiter.
And they left.
When the Martians got back to Earth, they were met with curiosity and joy.
“We haven’t heard from the Martians in decades!” the people said. “We watched you through our telescopes. You’ve built impressive structures! What have you learned?”
And the Martians said, “Mars is hard and barren, and we have sacrificed so much to build a habitat there. But some of us realized we were wrong. We don’t want to rebuild humanity, we don’t want a new Eden; we want our old Eden!”
And the Earthlings welcomed them home and showed them their new cities.
They had stopped burning fossil fuels. Windmills and solar panels and water wheels were everywhere. They had stopped churning up the earth to plant endless corn and soy beans, and had learned new forms of agriculture and animal husbandry. They built communities instead of houses, unique to their landscapes. They cooperated in the design of these new approaches to life. They turned to old ways, old cultures, and traditional understandings. They supplemented tradition and history with science and careful observation and flexible adjustment of their approach. They were proud of what they had done.
“Where are our lands?” The Martians asked, impressed by the fruitfulness of this new society. “We want to know who lives on our lands, we want to know who is paying us for their use.”
The Earthlings laughed. They realized the Martians were serious. They stopped laughing. The Martians grew angry.
“We own these lands!” they shouted. “You owe us for using them for so long!”
The Earthlings pointed the Martians towards their new communities. “Stay with us. Learn more about how we’ve changed. Learn how we live. But you don’t own any land. You are not owed any pay. This can be your home, but it can not be your possession.”
The Martians tried to litigate. They tried to sue. But the legal systems of this new Earth laughed at them too. They were powerless. Their wealth meant nothing. Those who still had wealth, which had been sitting untouched for years, found they could not make it grow without time and labour. They could only spend it. So they did.
They purchased refined uranium. They loaded it into their space ship. They returned to Mars.
“Earth,” they said, “Is doomed.” And the rest of Mars agreed.