Reasons why Peter Parker is a Disaster™
with secret identities:
- Makes his spiderwebs in school, during class, with 20+ students and teachers present.
- Talks vocally about how he stole Cap’s shield and then got beaten up. In a fucking silent gym hall where sound BOUNCES DON’T U KNOW THAT PETER UR SUPPOSED TO BE A NERD-
- Anyway
- Blatantly just fuckin. Jumps over 13 ft. fences bc he feels like it. Is Incapable of just Walking Normally like Normal Humans. Beneath him.
- “Time to go on my daily patrol!” “hm. Where should I go to change out of my everyday clothes and turn into the mystery hero?” “oh, I know!” A FUCKING ALLEY IN PLAIN VIEW OF EVERYONE COME ON PETER
- Seems to just regularly wear his suit under his clothes? Because there are no ways that could go wrong. At all.
- Takes his fucking mask off and sits on a roof to brood over his crush whilst she stands under a HUGE ASS WINDOW WHERE ANYONE WHO JUST. VAGUELY TILTED THEIR HEAD UPWARD COULD CLEARLY SEE HIM.
- PETER WHAT THE FUCK
- For some reason decides it is a Good Idea to take his school bag with him on missions? And wears his school jacket over the suit? Do you….,.,. sweetie are you trying to get caught here?
- TAKES HIS FUCKING MASK OFF LIKE. ALL THE FUCKING TIME JESUS CHRIST PARKER
- Leaves both his suit+his web fluid in The Most Top Secret of places,,,, the impenetrable fortress that is,,,.,..,.underneath a school locker.
- Is Generally A Bumbling Fool
- Tony u need to teach ur kid some fucking superhero etiquette what on Earth is this
Tag: spiderman
when I was little, I went through a phase where I’d wear my Spiderman costume under all my clothes, so I wore it for about 3 years straight and my mom never found out until one day when we were at a family party, I was wearing the costume under a really fancy and expensive dress, and someone started choking on something so I ripped off the dress to reveal the costume to try and save them, and I think my mom just about had a heart attack
What I say: ilysm
What I mean: I love you Spider-Man
ifesbob 