why on earth are snakes seen as mysterious, cunning and insidious, they are literal dumbasses, slithering through the world trying not to die of their own dumbassery. Sometimes my pet snake fails to eat his rat because he can’t find the head and it won’t fit into him because he tries to eat it ass first, so he gives up and sulks in his cave for three days. Sometimes he tries to wrap around his heat lamp in the middle of the night, then kaboom! falls to the ground and lies there confused for half an hour. He gets offended by his water dish. One time he got scared of his plant because a leaf touched him funny as he was slithering by. When he was little and not used to handling,he tried to bite me occasionally but missed every single time. He’s scared of black rats and won’t eat food that isn’t either white or light brown. I have no idea how he would survive in the wild. He’s not evil and mischieveous, he’s literally a cannoli with a head and he’s never had a thought in his life.
ifesbob 