greater-than-the-sword:
autumnhobbit:
other great things about being a smart kid: anytime you ever struggle with anything your parent/teacher/authority figure’s reaction is an irritated “you’re smart! i know you can get this!”
YES. THANK YOU. THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT INSTANTANEOUSLY AN EXPERT IS THAT I WANT TO MAKE IT SPECIFICALLY HARDER ON YOU. AND MYSELF! I LOVE MUTUAL AGONY AND TORTURE. IT BRINGS ME JOY TO FRUSTRATE VENGEFUL ADULTS.
I was thinking about this recently because as glad as I am that I wasn’t put down, I don’t like this being the reaction every time I go for help.
“I’m struggling with this, help!”
“No it’s easy! Youre capable! You’re just not trying hard enough!” *doesnt help or give advice* *lets person take full consequences of subsequent failure or even punishes them for it*
Results in
a) believes asking for help is not acceptable and will just make other people resent you
b) interprets “you can do it” as an ultimatum, eg. “Failure will not be tolerated!”
c) on that note, difficulty accepting genuine encouragement because it feels like a threat