who cares: reads books in class instead of listening, attention span of 5 seconds when studying, generally starts studying in the day before, lost all their new fancy pens by week 2, still somehow gets A*, sometimes starts arguing with the teacher
i can and i will: motivated af, watches legally blonde 24/7, big dreams and aspirations, bullet journal is goals, sometimes very forgetful but makes up for it through very hard work, wants to figure out everything by themselves before asking for help
hello my name is stressed: signed up for 10000 extracurriculars and can’t get out of them now, time management god, hates the glorification of all-nighters but stays up until 6 am anyway, has the highest expectations regarding themselves, needs a hug
aesthetics TM: desperately wants their notes to look perfect, spends all their money on stationery, loves to doodle, PUNS, is great in one specific class, always tries to help their friends with homework, study playlists!!!, can still easily feel overwhelmed and lost but they try and that’s enough
what: has lost their motivation somewhere along the way, has no idea what’s going on, “there was homework”, messy notes and messy life, really wants school to end, hates the education system, has no idea what they want to do after school tho
also just bc it’s on my mind @high schoolers community college is a very real and viable option and if you’re in the position to do so or aren’t really sure where you’re going right now i would recommend spending a year or two at a community college to figure things out and maybe get your associates degree before you transfer like there’s no reason to stress yourself out at some expensive university right away if you don’t have to
Since it’s finals season here’s to the people that:
– try and get D’s and F’s still
– failed a class or classes this semester
– didn’t get into the college they wanted
– struggle with learning disabilities
– couldn’t get scholarships due to a low gpa
– have mental illnesses that zap their motivation to do anything else besides make it through the day
– have to take summer school
– weren’t able to graduate
You are not an idiot. You do have worth. And you CAN still go places in life. Your report card does not define your worth as a person.
“Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them…or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.”
Holy SHIT
WELL THEN
Yep.
They actually tested me for a learning disability in high school because I was consistently failing math.
They discovered that I actually scored in the 80th percentile in that sort of learning.
Problem was, in every other subject, I was in the 99.8th percentile.
I had never learned how to study because I never needed to—and then, when something proved to be even the slightest bit challenging, my brain went
“LOL nope this is impossible abort”
Meanwhile, this entire time I’m scraping by in subjects like English. The assignments I did turn in, I’d score top marks—but I’d avoid turning in projects I didn’t think were “good” enough.
Essentially, my brain had two settings: “100%” or “0%”.
This sort of Baby Genius shit makes kids and adolescents neurotic and self-destructive.
We learned about this in Child Development. And we learned to reward hard work and not good job. Like don’t say to a child, “oh you are so smart.” Say “Oh did worked so hard.”
Be proud of the child, not the achievement.
Be proud of the child, not the achievement.
Decades of research have been done on this by Dr. Carol Dweck. When the emphasis is placed on effort (a factor people can control) rather than talent (an innate skill), it’s a lot easier to see mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than something you just won’t ever be good at. And kids who were encouraged by effort were also more willing to take on more challenging work and considered it a lot more fun, while the kids who were praised for their intelligence were reluctant to put themselves in a situation where they might lose that identifier as a “smart kid” by making mistakes, so they preferred to do work they were confident they could master. Also, the kids praised for effort wanted to compare their results to kids who got higher scores, to see where they made their mistakes, while those praised for intelligence wanted to compare their results to kids who scored lower, to reassure themselves.
Not only does this set up “smart” students for a lot of trouble when they enter college and start being regularly challenged, the effects last long beyond that. It can be very hard for the “you’re so smart!” kids to unlearn as they become adults and struggle with even common adult things, and are afraid to ask for help because of that lesson they learned from misguided praise that they are supposed to be smart and supposed to know the answers.
…Honestly +1 here. It’s very well researched and documented and yeah. Making the emphasis on “You succeed and we are proud of you b/c you are SMART as an intrinsic quality!” makes failure/setbacks/difficulty -TERRIFYING- b/c if you’re “smart” it doesn’t happen and if you fail that means you’re not smart and that’s what everyone’s drilled into you as your main point of worth.
And the rates of anxiety disorders among “gifted student” kids are kinda horrifying.
This is why “you’re so smart” means absolutely nothing to me any more. It’s used as punishment as often as it’s used as praise.
ifesbob 