No matter how well you know someone, you’ll have to communicate with them. Don’t romanticize the idea of someone just “knowing” exactly what you need and how you feel. Don’t romanticize the idea of someone “reading your mind” so well that you’ll never have to go through the process of actually speaking up. Having those expectations to a relationship will leave you disappointed and upset cause never having to actually speak your mind just isn’t a realistic goal.
Tag: relationships
Not cheating on people and not betraying your friends is actually very very very easy and I would 100% recommend this to everyone
I grew up in a poly household. My mother was married to two men who loved her dearly and they were the best of friends. I use past tense due to the fact that one of my fathers passed away a few years back.
I grew up in one of the most stable, loving households I can imagine. I had tons of support from all three of my parents, I never felt alone, and I never felt confused about my parents relationship.
Were other people confused when I told them about my parents? Sure. Did it take some time for them to understand my parents relationship? Yep. And the reaction I got every single time from other kids once they understood? “That’s so awesome!”
Growing up in a poly house did not hurt me, confuse me, or make my life difficult. It sure as hell wasn’t abusive.
Healthy poly relationships do not hurt children.
I really want some more recognition for poly relationships. This is a lovely post and a step in the right direction. Couples consisting of two people can be dysfunctional. It’s not just poly relationships.
“I would kill myself if you left me” isn’t cute and romantic, it’s abusive and there’s exactly zero scenarios where that’s an okay thing to say.
In addition:
‘If you really care about me, you’d stay with me’
Is also abusive and manipulative and if you don’t want to be with someone-don’t let them try to toy with your emotions. You can care about someone w/out being with them
Not to get controversial or anything but can we stop with making fun of women being abused by their husbands and playing it off as ‘straight culture’
I lost 10 followers for saying we shouldnt make fun of domestic abuse victims.
can we also please stop making fun of men being abused by their wives thanks
Good addition
Can we also stop acting that domestic abuse is just a “straight” thing?
It’s literally teaching our baby gays that any same sex relationship their going into is safe and they don’t need to be worried about being abused and controlled.
Another good addition
It’s almost as if nobody wants to admit that they might not be prepared to do the work it takes to love somebody. And it can be laborious. To be intimate with someone who is flawed (which is the standard) requires us to expose our own flaws. We don’t talk about the heavy responsibility of that. We don’t talk about how we’re too lazy or too cowardly sometimes. We instead accuse love of being elusive. It isn’t. It is omnipresent. It asks us to be better people. And sometimes we flat out refuse.
Friendly reminder that you’re under no obligation to love other people, whether they’re your parents, siblings, other family members or anyone you know.
Someone’s love is something you earn through experiences and time, not because someone is “titled” under a label that they’ve put themselves.
You’re not forced to love anyone who you think doesn’t deserve that love.
in 2019 we stop guilt tripping people into forgetting the struggles you caused them
i feel like i need to explain this. You shouldn’t apologize to other people by insulting yourself. “I’m so sorry, i’m so stupid i suck” is not an apology. It’s a guilt trip. You make the person stop focusing on why they’re hurt and focus on helping you instead. An apology combined with self deprecation is not an apology and never will be thank you for coming to my ted talk
If I could offer a young person advice about anything it would be do NOT make life decisions based on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Girls especially. Do NOT stay close to home for him, do not skip opportunities to travel or study abroad, do not pick a safe college to be with him. Expand your horizons. Broaden your own life. He is not the world.
I want everyone who disagrees with this post to come back to me in a couple years and tell me how that shit worked out.
Note: if your relationship can’t survive a semester or a year apart, it’s probably not going to survive the rest of your life.
Also, if your SO can’t be supportive of your education/career goals, they’re probably not the right person for you.
telling ppl attracted to men that there are no good men out there or that men can’t love only normalizes poor treatment from men & doesn’t do anything helpful
#the idea that all men are naturally garbage is super unhelpful#because it absolves awful men of the responsibility to be better
- #it also discourages men who do want to improve their behaviour but don’t know how
- #by convincing them that they’ll be reviled no matter what they do
- #learning how to change involves leaving confort zones
- #and making yourself vulnerable by approaching other people’s spaces for advice
Been seeing so much casual misandry on twitter lately to this effect. “Ugh it’s such a tragedy that I’m attracted to men!! They’re so horrible!!1!11!!” I mean congrats Kathy but with that attitude you’ll be attracting exactly 0 people of any gender
ifesbob 