Seeing unhealthy patterns in your family and deciding that those pattens end with you and will not be passed down to future generations is an extremely brave and powerful decision.
Forgive yourself for repeating what was taught to you as a child, then put the conscious effort into deprogram these patterns.
i learned that according to a study, strict parents can turn their kids into more effective liars because children who are afraid to tell the truth learn more deceptive behaviors to avoid getting in trouble (x)
Far too many people romanticize not having to communicate like that’s actually a healthy and realistic relationship goal and it worries me. Don’t wait for someone who can read your mind when so many people are willing to listen if you just speak up.
I’m definitely not saying adult communication is easy – but I’m saying it’s something you have to learn if you want to build and maintain healthy relationships.
what you allow will continue, so make sure you aren’t tolerating cruelty, manipulation, unkindness, lying, etc. this isn’t a justification by any means, but people will do what they can get away with: don’t let them get away with treating you bad.
if they act fake, they are fake. if they act ingenuine, they are ingenuine. if they act shady, they are shady. believe what they do, because actions always speak louder than words. especially when done repeatedly. stop looking away when people show you exactly who they are.
ifesbob 