If you hear a guy say that his girlfriend is crazy,
LET HIM SAY IT
Further still, press the subject (in a gentle and compassionate way, not an accusatory one)! Yeah he might just be a douch, but there is a pretty good chance that there’s more to it. For a lot of guys, the idea that we can be abused with anything other than something very serious or dangerous doesn’t register. The language to say “I’m being abused and/or mistreated by my girlfriend” doesn’t exist for a lot of us. I’ve had friends say that their girlfriend is crazy in passing and upon me pressing them for details, have told me about how they’re being beaten, manipulated, harassed, and controlled. Most men don’t just say stuff about our romantic partners at random because contrary to what some people believe, we care for and love those we are with.
It’s not cute, quirky, funny, or feminist to throw us aside like this. If you really care about male victims of abuse, act like it. You just might stop a good man from breaking. This is the type of thing that coaxed people to find relief in alcohol, drugs, or worse. Men need to be able to talk about their feelings but that doesn’t mean anything if nobody is willing to listen.
That is the most victim-blamey question you could ask a person
no offense but… whats the point in saying something rude about someone’s favorite things to their face just bc you don’t personally like it or have the same taste as them… like what do u get out of that interaction other than prove that you can’t respect your friend’s interests
You’ve taken the time beforehand to think about what your goal is (Are you trying to be right? Or are you trying to understand each other?)
You do your best to not hurt each other with your words, because you’re trying to understand each other.
You address your feelings without accusing each other (“I feel ___ when ___ happens”…. NOT “You never ____!”) because no one likes being accused. Even if it’s an accurate accusation.
You verbally remind each other that you’re arguing for the sake of understanding each other, and NOT just to be right/stir up some drama/take out frustration.
You both listen to each other’s points. Listen fully. Express your thoughts fully.
The argument finishes with you both feeling respected.
Ideally you come away with 1) a compromise/decision, 2) a better understanding of each other, 3) (ideally) more love and respect for each other.
you really have to stop treating your friends like therapists. they are not your therapists. you cannot bind them with the entirety of your deep set trauma and only seek them out for the alleviation of your pain (regardless of how severe your pain is!) when you give minimal return. a friendship is dual-sided, mutually beneficial. a friendship is when you listen and you reflect because you care about them. a friendship can heal you, but if all you do is neglect the needs of the other, than you are not acting as a friend. if all you do is take and expect them to take, you are not acting as a friend. really, you are acting as someone who believes that they are completely entitled to the emotional labor of someone else for free. if you want to have good friends who are there for you, be a good friend first. if you need someone to talk to, find a therapist. a therapist and a friend are not interchangeable.
She asked me that if people are polygamous by human nature, why does it hurt so terribly?
Is it because of the societal norm of monogamy being so deeply drilled into our heads? Is that why people lie? Would there be less heartbreak in the world if people just owned up to their polygamous feelings to their partner, instead of going behind their backs?
get a load of this asshole justifying being a cheater because some people are polyamorous
If you’re not looking for a relationship, tell the person you’re seeing.
If you’re thinking of ghosting someone, tell them.
If you can’t handle meeting up with someone after all, tell them.
If you’re terrible at responding to messages, tell people.
If you prefer talking in person to texting, tell people.
If you’re seeing several people at the same time, tell them.
If you’re looking for sex rather than dating, tell the person you’re seeing.
It is not difficult to be a decent and honest, open, communicative human being. Respect those whom you interact with and have relationships with by telling the truth instead of leading them on or being deceitful.
ifesbob 