racke7:

mallghoul:

majere636:

lesbtrophywife:

majere636:

girlfriendluvr:

majere636:

I guess talking about your interests with your date is “cringey” now?
Like, “Congrats?” is a pretty rude response to someone who you are
allegedly trying to get to know telling your something they feel is
important enough about themselves to share so this doesn’t exactly bode
well for this person’s ability to value your interests even if they
don’t share them which is kind of important.

cranky because harry potter sucks and normal people who arent into it exist arent you

I don’t even care about harry potter i just think being a condescending dick about people’s interests is shitty like hey maybe just don’t be mean to people about trivial shit that hurts nobody you complete horses ass

They expressed disinterest by saying “not really,” so that should’ve been the other person’s clue as to “hey maybe I shouldn’t talk about that”

like maybe instead of expecting the disinterested person to suffer through something they don’t care for, the potterhead could’ve just said “oh okay” and moved onto another subject lol. Condescension has nothing to do with the fact this person kept talking about HP when disinterest was expressed.

A) Lack of knowledge and disinterest are not the same thing.

B) You shouldn’t have to share an interest with someone you’re trying to get to know to let them talk about it. Like the whole point of first dates is getting to know the other person which ain’t gonna happen if you can’t even be bothered to express polite inquisitiveness about their interests. “Congrats?” is an inherently condescending response to anyone telling you anything I can’t think of a single instance where hearing that in response to me telling someone something important to me wouldn’t make my heart drop into my feet.

wow it’s almost like the harry potter fan was being unnecessarily rude by treating their date as if they already knew everything about harry potter, telling them things that they wouldn’t understand, instead of like, explaining what the fuck a harry potter house is and then saying which house they were or something, and completely ignoring the fact the person they are going on a first date on with could potentially just not like harry potter at all. It’s almost like the harry potter fan expressed zero interest in what their date wanted to talk about and instead forced them into a conversation that they didn’t understand, rather than find some equal footing between them. It’s almost like that was a really rude thing to do and the natural reaction to that would be something that was also rude, and has nothing to do with mocking someone for an innocent interest? 

I get that nerd-talk is all that we have sometimes, but a certain degree of flexibility is necessary.

“You know Harry Potter?“

“Not really.“

“Oh? Not your genre, or?“

Like, keep the conversation flowing. Get to know them. Listen to what they’re saying, and react to that.

Bringing up a nerd-interest is fine. No problem. But if it doesn’t get a response of “me too“ your first action shouldn’t be to continue pushing the subject, it should be to see if they’ve CHOSEN not to be interested, or if they just haven’t gotten around to becoming interested yet.

“Oh? Not your genre, or?“

“I always meant to watch the movies, but I don’t trust the movies not to ruin my experience of the books, and then I never got around to reading the books.“

Boom, you now have an in. A good direction to go from here is to find a way for this person to have a chance to properly experience the books, without forcing them to watch the movies first. (Easiest way of doing this might be to give them an audio-book, if they for example travel a lot. So ask them about opinions on audio-books.)

See. The conversation now has a goal, and in the process of learning about that goal, you end up with a lot of information about this person’s interests and opinions on things.

(For example, if they react really well to the audio-book idea, but then later on report that it was too dry with only a single voice to listen to, you might direct them to various story-driven podcasts that you can both enjoy and nerd-talk about together.)

“Oh? Not your genre, or?“

“My parents would’ve gone crazy if I’d started reading about magic and stuff. So no.“

Boom, now you’re on the subject of their family, and what kind of stuff they enjoyed as a kid. Learn from this, listen to them nerd-talk about what they did instead of read/watch Harry Potter, and see if you can relate to any of it.

Perhaps it’s also an opening to them wanting to learn more about “magic and stuff“ if they don’t really get along with their parents, but that’s more up in the air. Some people resent their parents, some don’t. Just listen, and keep the conversation flowing.

“I’m a Hufflepuff.“

“Congrats?“

Yes, congratulations. You’ve just ruined your own date, because you refused to pay attention to what they were saying. They have every right to be rude to you, you started it.