this formatting is making me uncomfortable but I have to tell you something / ask you something that is vital to my career as a student.
I re-read and edited that sentence for an hour, but you’ll probably just glance over it for half a second.
thanks!
– [name]
k
-professor
I have a stock format and structure I use.
Dear Person I am Writing To:
This is an optional sentence introducing who I am and work for, included if the addressee has never corresponded with me before. The second optional sentence reminds the person where we met, if relevant. This sentence states the purpose of the email.
This optional paragraph describes in more detail what’s needed. This sentence discusses relevant information like how soon an answer is needed, what kind of an answer is needed, and any information that the other person might find useful. If there’s a lot of information, it’s a good idea to separate this paragraph into two or three paragraphs to avoid having a Wall of Text.
If a description paragraph was used, close with a restatement of the initial request, in case the addressee ignored the opening paragraph.
This sentence is just a platitude (usually thanking them for their time) because people think I’m standoffish, unreasonably demanding, or cold if it’s not included.
Closing salutation,
Signature.
People always ask me how I can fire off work emails so quickly. Nobody has figured out yet that it’s the same email with the details changed as needed.
but sometimes you just get migraines and your brain goes LOL LET’S MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS for no actual reason so here are some helpful tips if you get one of those:
– when it starts hurting, TAKE PAIN KILLERS. something with caffeine in it helps the most. like i’m serious. the second you think “oh maybe i’m getting a migraine” take something and then do the following
– burrito in a comfy blanket in a super dark silent room. you’re going to want to stay on tumblr. fight that urge. don’t watch tv, don’t check your phone, no bright lights. they hurt.
– super magical migraine cure: put a couple scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream in a blender with some white milk and some chocolate milk. blend till it’s all nice and drinkable. if you’re like me and love whipped cream this is also a good excuse to have some of that. but actually, somewhere between the caffeine from the chocolate, magical mint properties, and the fact that it’s really cold in your mouth helps your brain calm down. trust me.
– drink some coke, the shot of caffeine helps. idk why. brain science.
– nom on some potato chips. i know that sounds really weird but chewing something like chips (slowly!) helps my face muscles relax. tension makes things worse.
– ICE PACKS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND. when you’re in pain, putting super cold things on those nerves overrides the pain signal and makes your brain just think you’re cold instead of hurt. it’s science. put them on your neck or your forehead or the top of your head, wherever you’re feeling tension and pain.
– if it’s coming from super tense neck muscles (i get those) or your neck is sore at all, rub like ben gay or icy hot on the back of your neck. helps soothe the muscles and calm down your head.
– also if it’s a migraine from sore neck muscles, adjusting the way you sit/lay down could help. just move around until you find a comfy position that helps you feel better.
these are just the things that i do, i learned pretty much all of it from my mom cause she gets terrible migraines too. also if anyone else has tips that work for them please add on 🙂 yay headache relief
Caffeine helps because it restricts blood flow to your brain slightly, same with ice at the base of your neck! migraines are caused by too much blood in your brain at once and overstimulates everything at once!
If you can, and have the time
take a nap.
Not a fifteen-minute, dozing-off catnap, but a nap. Between an hour or two. When you wake up, your headache will be a lot better, if not gone entirely. I get migraines all the time, and napping for an hour and a half always makes them better. I might not work for everyone, but hey, any reason to take a warm nap, right?
Hey kids, I was diagnosed with chronic migraines when I was 13. Some things that I’ve learned over the years:
1. As SOON as you start feeling a migraine, take a painkiller. Advil migraine is what I take. Drink a BIG glass of water with it. Maybe two. Most migraines come from dehydration.
2. If you take your painkiller and drink your water and still feel the migraine coming on after about 30 minutes, drink something with a lot of caffeine. Coke or coffee.
3. If your migraine still isn’t subsiding or is getting worse, take a nap in a dark room. I close all my blinds, place a mask over my eyes, and turn on some quiet classical music. Take deep breaths and try to relax.
4. If all else fails, use a migraine medication. I’ve been on high blood pressure medication for six months now and I haven’t had a migraine in four. I was also prescribed Sumavel (a sumatriptan injection) for when I do get my migraines, because I can’t even keep water down if they get too bad.
Take care of yourselves loves!
in addition to this,learn your signs that tell you a migraine is coming. Pain is not usually the primary sign. In most cases, a cue will be: Sudden poor or auras in vision,
nausea,
odd sensations like a sudden feeling of tightness all around you
Sudden poor hearing or hearing things that aren’t there,
a severe and sudden restlessness,
and quite a few others
Not everyone is the same, but knowing and getting used to what to expect for yourself is an indispensable asset when dealing with migraines. Reason being is that you can set up your triage of comfort first before the wretched pain starts.
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
As an apartment dweller, this is a game changer. My current apartment doesn’t have a laundry facility and the closest Laundromat about a 30 min bus ride which is just not practical. The mini-washer is a life saver
The panda mini washer hooks up to the sink, is incredibly lightweight (about 28 pounds, so light even I can lift it) and easy to use.
It has a surprisingly large capacity. The basket from the first picture represents about one and a half loads. The jeans took up a whole load while the rest filled the bin only half way.
Here’s the inside. The left is the washer the right is the spin dryer. Yes, it even drys.
Basically you shove your cloths into the washer, fill it up with water and let it go. I use my shower head to fill it up so it goes faster, the sink hook up took about five minutes to fill the whole tub, with the shower head is is down to a minute an a half. I do it in three wash cycles, a five minute rinse with baking soda, a five minute wash with soap and a three minute rinse with water. You have to drain and refill between each cycle so it’s a little more labor intensive than a traditional washer.
That’s the spin dryer. It’s about half the capacity of the washer so one wash takes about two loads to dry. The spinner is much more effective than I was expecting. A three minute spin gets my cloths about 90% dry. I hang them up to air dry for that last 10%.
The machine cost me about 150$. When you factor in two dollars for the bus, five for the machines (per week), the mini-washer pays for its self after only about six months worth of laundry.
I’m not great at expressing emotion, but I’m hoping you can tell how excited I am. Let me just say that the panda mini-washer is great and I highly recommend it to anyone currently using a Laundromat.
Read this and immediately bought it on Amazon for $180. I spend $15 a week to have my laundry done so this pays for itself in 3 months for me. THANK YOU JESUS.
OMG
@ all my nyc pendejas
Oh by the way, they have table top dishwashers that are pretty much the same thing:
This is one of the biggest technological breakthroughs for the everyday homeowner in the current decade: the realization that refrigerators aren’t the only things that can be miniaturized for better affordability and minimal space requirements.
Can you IMAGINE how this is going to change the lives of college students and apartment-dwellers? Or anyone with a lower income who can’t afford a place with “luxury” appliances like dishwashers and laundry machines?
for when the burnout is real and all you really wanna do is lie in bed and watch things but you gotta at least try to study. these are mostly channels i’ve watched and subscribed to!
Okay, I’m really annoyed by people thinking dysphoria is only debilitating, obvious to self body hate so they must be non-dysphoric. First off, let’s define dysphoria: Sex dysphoria is a disconnect, dissociation, or other discomfort a person has with their sex and/or sex characteristics. It can present A LOT of different ways and be very subtle.
I’m compiling this list to help people see how confusing dysphoria really can be. If you’ve experienced dysphoria in a way that isn’t listed here, please say something to me and I’ll add it. You can read my person experience with my subtle dysphoria that was more obvious upon looking back: [Link]
Ways Dysphoria can present: – [Unexplained] depression or anxiety. – [Unexplained] anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure or joy) – Phantom penis or breasts. – Something feeling “off” or “wrong” in the mirror. – Disliking being naked or seeing oneself naked. – [Unexplained] anxiety or depression after orgasm or sexual contact. – A physical anxiety-like feeling, especially when reminded of one’s sex. – Desire to mutilate sex characteristics such as genitals or breasts. – [Unexplained] irritability. – [Unexplained] resentment for sex opposite of yours. – Jealousy of the sex opposite of yours. – Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, depressed, resentful, or jealous when people of the sex opposite to yours talk about sex-specific experiences. – Stuffing pants/pushing in genitals from a young age and finding it gratifying. – Extreme fear of or worse anxiety than normal towards puberty. – Stuffing family member’s bras. – Making phallic objects and pretending you have a penis. – Taking sex toys and finding enjoyment out of pretending you have a penis. – Taking every chance with delight to dress up as the opposite sex as a “joke” – Extreme aversion to gender non-conformity, often times hyper masculinity/femininity to the point of being toxic. – [Unexplained] general dissatisfaction when looking in the mirror, especially when naked. – Avoidance to being naked. – Avoidance to being seen naked by people who it’d normally be acceptable: (Significant others, doctors, etc.) – Feeling “disconnected” or “Dissociated” from one’s body, especially sex characteristics. – Feeling like you’re watching a movie through your eyes. – EUPHORIA from transitioning, noticing changes, passing, or doing things reminiscent of the sex opposite of yours. – Poor perception of time, days mashing together, time going by fast or slow, etc. – Trouble with memory and/or focus. – [Unexplained] Flat Affect: Dull emotions, dull facial expressions, dull expression in general. – General apathy and indifference. . – [ Unexplained] General dissatisfaction with life. – [Unexplained] Dislike of sex and masturbation. – [Unexplained] Discomfort with sex and masturbation. – [Unexplained] Uncomfortable physical or emotional feelings or mood swings after orgasm, sex, or masturbation. – Avoiding sex and masturbation despite wanting to partake in them to avoid uncomfortable feelings after. – Feeling as if you’re putting on a performance. – Feeling unable to relate to peers of your sex. – Feeling more negative or personally hurt about homophobia directed at sex opposite of yours. – Frequent daydreaming about being the opposite sex. – Frequently making video game or original characters of the opposite sex. – Feeling more uncomfortable than normal about hearing your voice played back on a device. – Feeling uncomfortable in clothing that accentuates your sex characteristics, such as (FtM) women’s jeans making you appear more curvy. – Feeling like your libido should be higher or lower, more like the opposite sex. – Other issues or discomfort with sex or masturbation involving natal genitals, such as vaginismus or vestibulodynia. – [Unexplained] Dissatisfaction or discomfort with height, feeling you should be taller or shorter/more like the opposite sex. – [Unexplained] Strong connection to fictional characters of the opposite sex who you are not attracted to. – [Unexplained] Feeling of not belonging or being out of place in social settings where everyone is the same sex as you. – As a child, not feeling connected to peers of the same sex. – [Unexplained] Extreme aversion to reproducing. – [Unexplained] (MtF) Positive or euphoric feelings when thinking about being pregnant. – (FtM) Using a strap on during sex feels more natural and enjoyable during sex, and (MtF) being penetrated feels more natural and enjoyable. – [Unexplained] Discomfort or feeling of wrongness at the rate of muscle growth from working out. – [Unexplained] Discomfort with fat distribution, especially below the waist. – Thinking you’re doing something different from what you’re doing when expressing gender nonconformity. Like putting make-up on in front of the mirror as FTM = “Oh my god look at me I’m so faggy!” Building muscle at the gym as MTF = “I’m a strong woman! Subverting gender roles! Breaking the glass ceiling!” There’s dissociation between what you know is actually happening (you look gender conforming) and what you imagine you’re doing. – Jealousy of trans people who have gotten certain surgeries done – Difficulty forming connections with people, especially of the same sex. – Difficulty expressing yourself. – Unstable identity as an adult. – Switching clothing styles often due to unexplainable dissatisfaction. – [Unexplained] dissatisfaction with overall appearance.
Thanks, for several suggestions, Trans-Mettaton! 🙂
THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING. Please send me suggestions and additions of your experiences or others you’ve heard and I will happily and anonymously add them, but right now I’m drawing a blank.
It’s also important to note while gender nonconformity is very common among trans people prior to transition, it is NOT inherently dysphoria or a sign of being trans. Gender nonconformity and disliking/being uncomfortable with gender roles, or your sex/sex characteristics being assigned a gender role, can mimic being trans and having sex dysphoria. The important distinction is that sex dysphoria has to do with SEX. So your physical body, anatomy, physiology, being seen and treated as the sex you want to transition to, etc. Gender roles have to do with behavior, perceptions, roles, presentation, etc.
Pretty much all of these examples can be caused by other things as well, so if you relate to a thing or two on this list it doesn’t necessarily mean dysphoria. If you relate to a lot of things on this list, I’d start questioning things though.
I hope this can help clear up what dysphoria really is so we can finally help questioning people better,
ifesbob 