I have exactly one (1) lifehack for every adult thing and that is “admit your ignorance to customer service people”
no, seriously! I know how nothing in adult life works, but I have learned it by calling up the customer service division of whatever agency I am having a problem with and then just asking about whatever the problem is, emphasizing my complete lack of knowledge about the thing.
my actual literal script for these interactions: “Hi, my name is [name].This is my problem: [problem].I don’t know how [adult thing] works.could you explain how [adult thing] works?”it fucking works every time.
me: I keep getting conflicting information as to whether my therapist is covered by my health insurance.I don’t know anything about health insurance, so this is very confusing to me.could you explain why this might be happening? health insurance customer service: it’s because your normal health insurance is X company but your mental healthcare is subcontracted out to Y company, and Y covers your therapist but X doesn’t. just always bill Y when you go to your therapist and you’ll be fine.
me:I accidentally put the wrong date to pay my credit card off and I’m afraid it will post before I get paid.this is my first credit card so I don’t know what I’m doing.could you tell me when it will post? customer service person: it will send a message to your bank today, but your bank won’t respond to it until tomorrow when you get paid, so you’re fine. and even if it does bounce, the fee is only $25 and you qualify for a waiver.
me:I went to an urgent care place that said they’d take my health insurance, but now i have a big bill.I don’t know how billing works:can you explain why the amount is so much for such a routine trip? customer service person: it’s because you were out of network at the time. however, since your insurance hasn’t covered the cost of care, the urgent care people should refund you for the cost of the services you paid for. me: [gets actual check in mail for the $200 I spent on testing my pee]
I would not recommend this method for retail (for the love of god, do not tell a sleazy car dealer that you don’t know how cars work), and sure, sometimes you have to speak to the manager or threaten a credit card chargeback or whatever you need to do. but 99% of the time, speaking nicely and admitting to needing help has worked wonders for me, and means I don’t have to stew in terror over doing some adult thing Wrong.
you ever see an image and think “i may see something as funny as this again, but never anything funnier”
ALL RIGHT YOU LITTLE SHITS GET READY TO LEARN SOMETHING
yOU WANNA ROTATE TEXT?! well mod 5ider has got the fucking t r i c k s homie
Step one: Type something.
P E R F E C T.
sTEP TWO: FIND THE RESIZE OPTION.
You see that little resize button on your menu?
Yeah, that’s the one. you can just click that shit!
On older versions of MS Paint there isn’t this option, but you can always find it with a quick right-click.
THERE IT FUCKING IS!!!!!
STEP THREE: STRETCH AND SKEW
When you click resize, this menu comes up.
I’m sure you all have seen this menu before, but for those who don’t, I’ll clue you in. The top options control the length and respective width of your artwork. you can choose to alter them separately,
or all together
Using that little “Maintain Aspect Ration” checkbox there, but that’s not important right now.
wHat we’re focusing on is that skew option on the botttom.
with that you can t i l t whatever image yuo have on your screen to the left
to the right
up
and down.
“BUT 5IDER!!!!!” you say, “THAT DOESN’T LOOK ROTATED AT ALL”
wELL HOLD ON TO YOUR LUG NUTS BECAUSE I T ’ S T I M E F O R
STEP 4: ULTRA COMBOOOOOOOO!!!!!
now, comes the fun part. unlike its aspect ratio locked cousin, the stretch and skew options work independently from one another. So, you can do things like
and
But that’s neither here nor there… what gets REALLY interesting is when your ratios are in opposite directions..
HOME RUN!
Now, before I let you go, I found out through trial and error that an angle doesn’t exactly match up with its negative dimension…
(Step 5: Angular ratios)
See? there’s a little offset between vertical and horizontal if your expect your text to appear natural instead of tilted. The only places that this offset reaches zero is at 90° (of course) and the rare and extremely dangerous 45° rotations.
Fortunately, I’ve already mapped out a few angles that I find are very useful in my works so, for your viewing pleasure… i present my handy dandy graph
All you have to do is match up your desired angle up to its respective complement and you have quickly and efficiently rotated your first word in MS Paint.
That’s actually a wise move that many people do practice. Don’t have enough job experience, but need it to get the job? Put yourself down as having had experience in a position in a company that is no longer in business, especially if it closed years ago. They literally have no way of verifying this (do not do this for chains wherein only the store closed, but not the chain). It’s a good way to fluff up your resume, just make sure you put down a position wherein you used skills you already have.
For instance, you can say you were a Personal Assistant – typing, data entry, responding to emails, taking phone calls.
Or you were an entry level cashier/customer service worker. Retraining is simple at that point.
Need brief training on that, so that you can say you literally were trained?
All for free, just sign up with Alison. Takes 2 seconds to login with your google account, and then you can take some open courseware. Open University is another good place to go for good business acumen courses.
Seriously, Alison is amazing. Most courses are only around an hour or so long, and you can say you have some knowledge or some experience in these things… because you do.
So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.
Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.
Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.
Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.
Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.
Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.
Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.
Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.
Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!
Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.
Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.
Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.
Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.
Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.
If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.
Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.
It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.
Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.
You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.
Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.
the number of times in my past that I desperately wanted/needed someone to sit me down and tell me this stuff. I will never get back the hours and hours lost to headless-chicken mode, but it’s nice to know that in the last year I’ve learned so many coping mechanisms 😀
this is also good if you’re NOT in crisis mode but you need to Do Something with your mess & can’t focus enough for an in-depth clean of one spot. wander through all rooms with a trash bag and get rid of obvious trash, and you’ve done a lot for your space without having to concentrate too much. if in a few days you have the energy for doing the next step, hooray! if not, at least all the trash is gone.
i began keeping journals about a year ago, and believe it’s a wonderful hobby for just about anyone!
keeping track of various things in your life can bring a number of benefits, you can begin to recognise all the small things you feel grateful for, and help you process difficult situations – it can help you learn about yourself, find your voice and talk about things you might be uncomfortable to do so out-loud.
tips for a daily journal ;
📕 it doesn’t really have to be daily, it should be something you enjoy, and if you don’t have the energy, there’s no need to beat yourself up
🖊️ if you are running low on energy, but still need to get your thoughts out, you can always just do some doodles, short sentences or scribbles, just to help you untangle your mind
📕 sharing pictures of your journal is fun, but it’s best to feel open and free in what you write – i find it beneficial to keep a journal just for me, so i feel comfortable adding anything
🖊️ be honest with yourself, you don’t need to put on a performance for anyone else here
📕 date your entries to help you keep track of your moods and thoughts
🖊️ not feeling up for self-reflection? record simple things – draw an object nearby, write about an animal you saw, or make a list of things you did today
📕 don’t put pressure on yourself, your journal doesn’t need to be aesthetically pleasing, or beautifully written, you don’t need to have perfect grammar or a fancy notebook to enjoy journalling
ifesbob 