jesus christ, be polite to children and show them manners. fucking say excuse me when you walk past them, apologize to them when you cut them off, thank them when they’re courteous to you. they’re not little objects that don’t matter. you should be a fucking example and teach them how to treat people, instead of acting like they’re these invisible THINGS that don’t have feelings or don’t notice when they aren’t acknowledged. be polite to children the same way you’d be polite to someone of your own age group or older. you can respect a child.
Tag: parents
Haha anyway if my parents tell me I’ll want kids, that’s just fucking ridiculous because the entire concept of having kids makes me incredibly uncomfortable. At most I’ll adopt someone, even then though, I don’t really want kids to begin with. I probably wouldn’t be good parent anyway. So you know. I don’t really buy that “you’ll want them eventually” bullshit.
some of my biggest insecurities only became insecurities after my mother pointed them out to me and turned my characteristics into flaws.
parents, fucking watch what you say to your kids.
the whole ‘love your family no matter how bad they fuck up because you’re family’ ideology is toxic bullshit
The responsibility of avoiding being a negative influence on children doesn’t lie in the hands of popular youtubers, it lies in the hands of the parents. If the parents don’t like it, they can stop the child from watching it, or explain the content they aren’t the biggest fan of to their child. The responsibility for what children take away from any content they consume lies in the hands of the parents.
Youtubers should be aware of their influence and maybe make it clear but at the end of the day it’s not their responsibility to control what children take away from their videos.
Post-It Notes from a Stay-At-Home Dad.
These were all very entertaining 😛
I love how he calls his wife “permanent roommate”
at least my coworker is hot
Omg
Oh my god. This is beautiful
christian-conservative-feminist:
When your child says “Why can’t I get a puppy?”
Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules”
Try “Any pet is a lot of responsibility. A puppy would have to be fed, walked, and taken outside to use the bathroom several times a day and taken for regular check-ups and vaccinations at the vet. You can’t do all of that by yourself, and I/we don’t have the time or money either.”
When your teenager says “Why can’t I come home at 2:00 this Saturday?”
Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules!”
Try “The time you come home is a matter of respect and consideration. I/We will not only be concerned for your safety, but we would either be disturbed in the middle of the night when you arrive or forced to stay up for several extra hours waiting.”
When your child says “Why am I not allowed to do this thing?”
Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules!”
Try actually communicating a legitimate reason, because children pick up on subtlety and on context and on the unspoken messages, and it’s better to teach children lessons like “You should think really hard before taking on new responsibilities” and “It’s important to show consideration for the needs of the people with whom you share a living space” than lessons like “It’s okay for people to demand your absolute obedience so long as you’re dependent on them for survival.”
If you don’t pay rent, you don’t get to argue. Stop being a pussy, grow the hell up, and do what your meal ticket expects of you. Unless you prefer being cold and hungry.
Well its not so much they need an answer no but itd be preferable and generally better to explain reasons ya know? Otherwise they just do it anyway and dont learn shit.
If you don’t pay rent, you don’t get to argue. Stop being a pussy, grow the hell up, and do what your meal ticket expects of you. Unless you prefer being cold and hungry.
It saddens me that you would resort to such a tactic as repeating the same statement, instead of giving a proper rebuttal.
What benefit does lording your power over your kids like an authoritarian dictator give them? What does it teach them? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure it doesn’t teach them how to “grow up” or “stop being a pussy.” Only that they’re not going to have any support in trying to figure it out.
I respect you, and because of that I have to call you out on this one. Your children, should you choose to have them, are not going to benefit in the slightest from the attitude you’re expressing.
It saddens me that so many people are raising touchy-feely weaklings who are gonna let themselves get walked on their whole life. If I have kids, obviously I won’t be my father. I’m not gonna get drunk and hold knives against their throat. I believe in a calm discussion for misbehavior. I also believe if you don’t get the message the first time around, depending on the severity of the incident, you might get a few swats, or your car keys or phone confiscated, etc if it occurs again. I’m not just gonna dictate their entire lives to them, but they’re gonna learn what I have to teach them one way or another.
It’s better for a child’s development if parents explain why they can’t do something and is a characteristic of authoritative parenting as opposed to authoritarian parenting. It promotes logical and verbal reasoning, communication, and understanding.
It’s true that it is the parents house and therefore their rules, but there’s nothing wrong with explaining why those rules exist to your children.
^This is very well-understood re:child psychology.
That’s the thing to remember; it isn’t about not having rules, or being touchy-feely; if you asked my baby sister if I was strict, she’s likely say I was more strict than any of my siblings or even her parents.
When you say “because I said so” all you are doing is declaring you either don’t have time for the kid, or that you don’t have an answer. If you repeatedly use it, then the kid will ignore it because there’s no reasoning; and they’ll do it to spite you, the opposite of what you want to happen.
When you punish them, they don’t see it as being punished for doing something stupid, they see it as being punished because they didn’t follow your orders. It turns you into nothing but an obstacle; a threat and a danger that needs to be ignored or fought against.
When you say “my house my rules,” you’re saying that you can never be questioned and have absolute authority; that no matter what they do they will never have any agency beyond your whims and that agency is totally removable. What does that mean? The kid will do everything they can to gain agency without your permission and without your counsel.
It doesn’t matter what you threaten them with; because they’ll never trust you, because your own actions alienated yourself from their lives.
How do I know this?
Because I was the kid in that exact situation, and I have scads of journals from my younger years that express my deep, unending frustration at being ignored, being denied agency, and being basically treated like a burden; no matter what I did. I never wanted to help my family because I never felt invested in helping them, because it didn’t matter; nothing I did was good enough, and many times my achievements only made it harder for me, because if I succeeded once, I was expected to succeed eternally.
TL;DR, don’t treat your kids like a burden. Treat them like something worth investing time and effort and patience into. That doesn’t mean coddling them; it means understanding they are people, and that they desire agency, and you should be working to instill the desire for agency and giving it to them so they can grow quickly.
They need to trust you; to trust every word you say as being the best truth you can manage, even if that truth is “I honestly have no idea.” So that, some day, when they’re packing their things to move out or go to college, or even just facing challenges that are daunting you, you can say “I’m proud of you. You can do this.” and they will not just believe it, but know it, as much as they know that grass grows and birds fly.
My Mom’s Logic
If I walk away before saying something stupid, I’m being rude and disrespectful.
If I say the stupid thing, I’m being rude and disrespectful.
If I don’t respond at all or try to change the subject, I’m being rude and disrespectful.
If I actually try to form a cohesive argument, I’m being rude and disrespectful.
I’m being rude and disrespectful no matter which course of action I take? Well, maybe you should have thought of that before putting me in a situation where I’m wrong no matter what I say.
I feel like most parents are like that. I know mine were and it angered me to no end.
Yep.
ifesbob 