How to give your kids trust issues and anxiety brought to you by privacy invading mormon Dad
See Also: How to further endanger people in abusive relationships, brought to you by privacy invading mormon Dad, with control issues.
It’s honestly like Christian Grey level micromanaging. Do you wanna fuck up your kid? Because this is how you fuck up your kid.
My parents did this to me as a teenager.
Nothing will ever match the horror of being called into your dad’s office at the age of 14 and him showing you screenshots of your own computer from the last several months.
Screenshots of private conversations with online friends.
Or records of my internet browsing history.
And then my fundamentalist christian parents asked, “do you masturbate?” because they found I had signed up for this site called “okcupid” in order to do the fun personality quizzes they had on it. And okcupid was a “sex site.”
And they would play mind games with me, pretending that they had been recording more of my activity than they actually had, but refusing to tell me how much, so I never really knew how much they actually knew, or how long they’d been spying on my computer, and I lived in constant fear of them pulling out a “WE KNOW YOU DID THIS, GOTCHA.” at any moment.
Sometimes when I left the room they would sneak onto my computer and go through anything I had left open.
I’m 23 now, and to this day I have a soul-crippling paranoia of anybody getting near my computer. Not even long term romantic partners. NOBODY touches my computer. Never ever ever ever.
Because instead of actually communicating with your children, stalk them instead to manipulate them emotionally.
This is terrifying and my parents did this to me constantly throughout my childhood. My mom hasn’t done it in the past year or so because I’ve been ‘good’ (I kind of just gave up on everything for awhile because of depression caused by my folks so I could do no wrong) and I still delete the history on the computer just in case. She still goes through my phone sometimes, though.
Phone horror story: my parents went through my phone when I was young and dating this girl, but I didn’t want my parents to know. I was afraid if they would accept me, my mom being religious, and my dad being the most important person to me. So every night, my girlfriend and I would say goodnight and “I love you”. But my parents were suspicious, took my phone, went through it, and then hid it.
They then watched me run around the house in a blind panic trying to find my phone for /hours/. I finally figured out what happened, confronted them, and was sat down for hands down the worst talk I’d ever received. They asked me if I was dating this girl. I said yes. They asked me if I was a lesbian. I said no, I’m bisexual. They then proceeded to tell me that “bisexuality isn’t real, I have to pick, it’s just a phase” ect.
And that’s my coming out story. I didn’t “come out”. I was forced to admit my sexuality under interrogation after they invaded my privacy, and then ridiculed. I have nothing to hide now, but when someone goes through my phone, I freak out. I don’t tell my family when I’m dating someone, even if I’m happy with them.
So yeah. Wanna fuck up your child for life? Wanna cause a major rift in trust between you and your kid? Go through their shit, and wondering why your kid doesn’t tell you when something’s wrong /years/ later.
Okay I don’t normally add things to posts but I’m going to tonight.
I used to be in a relationship with a cis girl; if I may remind everyone, I, also, am a cis female. I live in the bible belt of the United States and one of the most terrible places you can be in: Texas. That means I was raised with and around people who STILL believe that gays/trans/anything apart from ‘the norm’ is going to hell/condemned/disgusting.
I was crushing on this girl of mine for a couple of years, and my parents took my phone one time because I got in trouble. They’d read all of our texts. All of them. Everything. And they forbid me from ever speaking to her again and ended up taking me to “Christian” therapy. This made me unbelievably depressed and when this happened, I got back into self harm. Still, when you’re forced to grow up doing things that make you happy in secret because your parents are super consesrvative, you get sneaky. Eventually this girl and I ended up in a relationship. So I dated this girl for THREE YEARS, long distance, ENTIRELY in secret. I had to clear my text messages every 5 minutes, couldn’t EVER talk to her on the phone (except for when I finally got my car and was allowed to go our by myself, in which, I still had to be careful) and it made us both MISERABLE. If they found out we were talking not only would we not be able to again, but they wanted to place a restraining order on her just so that it would be IMPOSSIBLE for us talk again. All because they were MORTIFIED of me ‘being gay’.
And I’m not exaggerating. They would check the Verizon bills to see what numbers I’ve texted/called, would SNATCH my phone out of my and RANDOMLY and check through my messages/MSN, and I was subject to ‘random regular computer checks’. The girl I was with at this time had to pay $50 to get an area code that wasn’t the one they’d be looking for just so that we could text back and fourth without questions.
It destroyed me. It destroyed my sense of trust for my parents and even now, long after my relationship with this person has been ended and I am allowed and approved to date my current boyfriend, I still clear my texts out of pure fear and am still scared sometimes. I doubt they’d take my phone now that I’m nearly 21, but I have no idea and I can’t be too careful. I still haven’t come out to them as pansexual and probably wont ever.
If you love your children, don’t do this kind of shit to them. They’ll never trust you again.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you violate your child’s privacy in this way you’ll never earn their trust, you’re just creating a better liar.
This is not something your children will “understand” later; you will not be forgiven, you will not be confided in. You will create trust issues for your children for all of their future relationships. There is nothing about this that is ok.
This is such an abuser-disguised-as-a-quirky-parent vibe it literally makes me sick 2 look at lol
I am going to talk about this for a minute, because yeah I think OP really nails something here. A lot of really crappy parenting is often upheld as a cute or funny thing, and a lot of people in the comments are shitting on OP because they cannot imagine how it could possibly be abusive. It’s hard because you cannot see the rest of the context, but this could very well be an abuse tactic, and overall is just a crappy thing to do to a kid. Plus it probably doesn’t work and has negative consequences for the overall relationship.
I am going to address several things off of the bat. I am not saying that having your kid clean the kitchen is abusive, what I am saying is establishing a pattern of taking away good things preemptively to enforce “good” behavior is a bad parenting tactic that could toe the line to abuse. Especially the way it’s worded as if it’s a common tactic (need for a new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows no room for autonomy, and doesn’t even really get at why the kitchen should be and needs to be cleaned today (what you actually want your kid to learn in the long run). There are better ways to communicate the message of shared responsibility than through the creation of social isolation (and yes this is social isolation, wifi is used in how humans particularly young people communicate with their friends in real life and online nowadays).
The major point I want to emphasize is that this type of action establishes a precedent and a set of emotions in a kid and none of those emotions are positive. It shows that important and vital things will be withheld, potentially without warning. It tells the kid they do not have a say in how their environment is structured, it tells them they do not have the right to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense of incompetence in themselves and resentment towards that authority that doesn’t really consider their desire and needs.
I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting doesn’t demand a kid do something or else, it gives a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on their own, and when they do both of you will be better served. The kid will have more motivation to get it done, and there isn’t a building sense of resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, and there are situations and kids it doesn’t work for, but seeing this post out of context does give me bad parenting/potential abuse vibes.
Hey! Thanks a ton. Since making this comment offhandedly, I have gotten over fifty Anon messages telling me I’m a spoiled brat, that my abuse is fake, and that I should take my own life and stop being a burden on my abusive parents. People perceived my comment as “lol this is inherently abusive” rather than the “man this gives me the Willie’s cause it’s resonant to my own abuse.” I intended.
In that time, few people have stood up for me or even tried to understand my side. Thank you for having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of invalidating her. It legitimately means a lot to me.
Yeah this creeps me out on so many levels. It’s different from the stereotypical picture of abuse but that doesn’t make it any less abusive and it’s important to look at this sort of controlling behavior and call it abuse too.
This type of abuse is insideous, I’m glad to see others calling it out for what it is. I’ve heard variations on this where parents would “playfully” threaten to put the child up for adoption if their house was cleaned spotlessly by their children. Not the children’s rooms or even just a shared living space, no, the whole house.
As someone who has worked with youth and troubled teens for years, the primary reason I see teens “acting up” with their parents is because the parents aren’t treating the teen with respect and offering them an emotionally safe environment. The teens are rebelling for a damn good reason. It isn’t just “hormones.” There are times I wanted to punch parents in the throat for how they treated their teens. I would try to help clean up the mess but there are only so many times you can try to sit someone down and convince them that they are good and deserving of love and respect and aren’t a failure before you want to just go and tear their parents a new one for continually emotionally abusing their own child.
And many of these were “good families.” Families that looked “normal” and “healthy.” Ha ha. No I spit on that image of the classic authoritarian family structure.
This is called chores. Only kids who’ve never been abused and have been spoiled call this abuse
No love, this isn’t about having to do the work. Don’t confuse the issue. This fits the classic model of abuse. If you care to argue, please take it up with the DSM 5.
And just to clarify, you coming at me and the others on this thread with insults and a complete lack of respect for what has actually been said is not correct behavior. I don’t expect you to agree since you yourself are exhibiting the traits of someone who feels entitled to hurt and bully others to get your way.
Yes spoiled brat it is. Damn I envy you kids. You had it so good you think helping around the house is a form of abuse
What are you hoping to achieve with these insults? You’re ignoring what was said that it’s not about helping around the house and have been tracking down multiple people who have responded to this post to add harassing comments. It’s past the time for you to stop.
Why are you so spoiled you think you’re entitled to someone else’s things? The wifi isn’t yours brat. It’s the payer.
But you’ve never been abused so you have to convince everyone that good parenting is abuse
He literally thinks people arguing with him is abuse. More proof these people have never been abused
As somebody who was abused physically and emotionally all of my life: Everyone calling this abuse shut the fuck up and sit your spoiled asses down. Entitled brats.
Hey guys I was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually and I think this is abuse.
How? How is requiring them to do chore to access wifi (that they’re not paying for and its not a necessity or right) abuse?
Kids need internet access for their school work. Both my you gest siblings need yo have internet access to use their school assigned ipads to compelte assignments. With holding their ability to complete school work is abuse.
I’m in school. It’s not always a necessity. And I’m sure if the kid needed it the parent would give it but wifi is not a right or something, its a privelege otherwise being too poor for internet would be neglect
My youngest siblings are being raised by my grandmother and theyre with a ptogram paying 12 dollars a months for internet for their school work. Regardless its always creepy seeing things like this as a victim of child abuse. Yes chores are normal but this seems gross.
It’s just chores idk what could possibly be gross about it. If you don’t do what you’re asked you lose priveleges, simple.
I mean i guess kids that arent abused woyldnt be made uncomfortable by having no contact with the outside world.
Wifi isn’t the only way to contact the outside world. But also like if its not for like a long time, not being allowed contact with the outside world isn’t like super awful. It’s just being grounded. Thats how it works.
It’s the authoritarian manner of the note that makes it at the least toe the line of abuse. It’s not losing privileges or having to do chores. Also OPs point is just that it reminds them of their abuse… so like.
Now of course, it is possible the kid agreed to this. We know very little of the actual context, so it could both just be a fun, innocent way to get the kid to do chores, or it could be a small symptom of a much worse problem.
You can’t really deny that there could be something slightly or a lot more insidious about this than just doing chores though. I don’t think this is inherently abusive but neither does OP. That wasn’t really the point.
“Authoritarian” tone or no there is nothing inherently abusive about making your kids do chores for their priveleges. “It could be hiding” “its possible” thats all it boils down to is that in certain situations it /could/ be abusive but we don’t know the situation so why are we discussing all the could bes instead of realizing that there’s nothing inherently abusive or creepy or bad about it.
It reminded someone who was abused of their abuse. Literally nobody, including OP, thinks this is inherently abusive. As OPs point actually was, “quirky” parenting can actually be abusive. CAN be. Not “is inherently”.
Literally quite a few people called it actualy abuse. It in itself is not abuse. Op might’ve said it reminded them of it but several people said it is.
OP and nobody in this thread called it inherent abuse, and anyone calling it inherent abuse frankly needs a reality check, but that wasn’t really my point. OP just said it reminded them of it and other people in this thread said it was important to realize that this could be a sign of abuse. That’s all.
This is such an abuser-disguised-as-a-quirky-parent vibe it literally makes me sick 2 look at lol
I am going to talk about this for a minute, because yeah I think OP really nails something here. A lot of really crappy parenting is often upheld as a cute or funny thing, and a lot of people in the comments are shitting on OP because they cannot imagine how it could possibly be abusive. It’s hard because you cannot see the rest of the context, but this could very well be an abuse tactic, and overall is just a crappy thing to do to a kid. Plus it probably doesn’t work and has negative consequences for the overall relationship.
I am going to address several things off of the bat. I am not saying that having your kid clean the kitchen is abusive, what I am saying is establishing a pattern of taking away good things preemptively to enforce “good” behavior is a bad parenting tactic that could toe the line to abuse. Especially the way it’s worded as if it’s a common tactic (need for a new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows no room for autonomy, and doesn’t even really get at why the kitchen should be and needs to be cleaned today (what you actually want your kid to learn in the long run). There are better ways to communicate the message of shared responsibility than through the creation of social isolation (and yes this is social isolation, wifi is used in how humans particularly young people communicate with their friends in real life and online nowadays).
The major point I want to emphasize is that this type of action establishes a precedent and a set of emotions in a kid and none of those emotions are positive. It shows that important and vital things will be withheld, potentially without warning. It tells the kid they do not have a say in how their environment is structured, it tells them they do not have the right to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense of incompetence in themselves and resentment towards that authority that doesn’t really consider their desire and needs.
I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting doesn’t demand a kid do something or else, it gives a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on their own, and when they do both of you will be better served. The kid will have more motivation to get it done, and there isn’t a building sense of resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, and there are situations and kids it doesn’t work for, but seeing this post out of context does give me bad parenting/potential abuse vibes.
Hey! Thanks a ton. Since making this comment offhandedly, I have gotten over fifty Anon messages telling me I’m a spoiled brat, that my abuse is fake, and that I should take my own life and stop being a burden on my abusive parents. People perceived my comment as “lol this is inherently abusive” rather than the “man this gives me the Willie’s cause it’s resonant to my own abuse.” I intended.
In that time, few people have stood up for me or even tried to understand my side. Thank you for having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of invalidating her. It legitimately means a lot to me.
Yeah this creeps me out on so many levels. It’s different from the stereotypical picture of abuse but that doesn’t make it any less abusive and it’s important to look at this sort of controlling behavior and call it abuse too.
This type of abuse is insideous, I’m glad to see others calling it out for what it is. I’ve heard variations on this where parents would “playfully” threaten to put the child up for adoption if their house was cleaned spotlessly by their children. Not the children’s rooms or even just a shared living space, no, the whole house.
As someone who has worked with youth and troubled teens for years, the primary reason I see teens “acting up” with their parents is because the parents aren’t treating the teen with respect and offering them an emotionally safe environment. The teens are rebelling for a damn good reason. It isn’t just “hormones.” There are times I wanted to punch parents in the throat for how they treated their teens. I would try to help clean up the mess but there are only so many times you can try to sit someone down and convince them that they are good and deserving of love and respect and aren’t a failure before you want to just go and tear their parents a new one for continually emotionally abusing their own child.
And many of these were “good families.” Families that looked “normal” and “healthy.” Ha ha. No I spit on that image of the classic authoritarian family structure.
This is called chores. Only kids who’ve never been abused and have been spoiled call this abuse
No love, this isn’t about having to do the work. Don’t confuse the issue. This fits the classic model of abuse. If you care to argue, please take it up with the DSM 5.
And just to clarify, you coming at me and the others on this thread with insults and a complete lack of respect for what has actually been said is not correct behavior. I don’t expect you to agree since you yourself are exhibiting the traits of someone who feels entitled to hurt and bully others to get your way.
Yes spoiled brat it is. Damn I envy you kids. You had it so good you think helping around the house is a form of abuse
What are you hoping to achieve with these insults? You’re ignoring what was said that it’s not about helping around the house and have been tracking down multiple people who have responded to this post to add harassing comments. It’s past the time for you to stop.
Why are you so spoiled you think you’re entitled to someone else’s things? The wifi isn’t yours brat. It’s the payer.
But you’ve never been abused so you have to convince everyone that good parenting is abuse
He literally thinks people arguing with him is abuse. More proof these people have never been abused
As somebody who was abused physically and emotionally all of my life: Everyone calling this abuse shut the fuck up and sit your spoiled asses down. Entitled brats.
Hey guys I was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually and I think this is abuse.
How? How is requiring them to do chore to access wifi (that they’re not paying for and its not a necessity or right) abuse?
Kids need internet access for their school work. Both my you gest siblings need yo have internet access to use their school assigned ipads to compelte assignments. With holding their ability to complete school work is abuse.
I’m in school. It’s not always a necessity. And I’m sure if the kid needed it the parent would give it but wifi is not a right or something, its a privelege otherwise being too poor for internet would be neglect
My youngest siblings are being raised by my grandmother and theyre with a ptogram paying 12 dollars a months for internet for their school work. Regardless its always creepy seeing things like this as a victim of child abuse. Yes chores are normal but this seems gross.
It’s just chores idk what could possibly be gross about it. If you don’t do what you’re asked you lose priveleges, simple.
I mean i guess kids that arent abused woyldnt be made uncomfortable by having no contact with the outside world.
Wifi isn’t the only way to contact the outside world. But also like if its not for like a long time, not being allowed contact with the outside world isn’t like super awful. It’s just being grounded. Thats how it works.
It’s the authoritarian manner of the note that makes it at the least toe the line of abuse. It’s not losing privileges or having to do chores. Also OPs point is just that it reminds them of their abuse… so like.
Now of course, it is possible the kid agreed to this. We know very little of the actual context, so it could both just be a fun, innocent way to get the kid to do chores, or it could be a small symptom of a much worse problem.
You can’t really deny that there could be something slightly or a lot more insidious about this than just doing chores though. I don’t think this is inherently abusive but neither does OP. That wasn’t really the point.
“Authoritarian” tone or no there is nothing inherently abusive about making your kids do chores for their priveleges. “It could be hiding” “its possible” thats all it boils down to is that in certain situations it /could/ be abusive but we don’t know the situation so why are we discussing all the could bes instead of realizing that there’s nothing inherently abusive or creepy or bad about it.
It reminded someone who was abused of their abuse. Literally nobody, including OP, thinks this is inherently abusive. As OPs point actually was, “quirky” parenting can actually be abusive. CAN be. Not “is inherently”.
This is such an abuser-disguised-as-a-quirky-parent vibe it literally makes me sick 2 look at lol
I am going to talk about this for a minute, because yeah I think OP really nails something here. A lot of really crappy parenting is often upheld as a cute or funny thing, and a lot of people in the comments are shitting on OP because they cannot imagine how it could possibly be abusive. It’s hard because you cannot see the rest of the context, but this could very well be an abuse tactic, and overall is just a crappy thing to do to a kid. Plus it probably doesn’t work and has negative consequences for the overall relationship.
I am going to address several things off of the bat. I am not saying that having your kid clean the kitchen is abusive, what I am saying is establishing a pattern of taking away good things preemptively to enforce “good” behavior is a bad parenting tactic that could toe the line to abuse. Especially the way it’s worded as if it’s a common tactic (need for a new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows no room for autonomy, and doesn’t even really get at why the kitchen should be and needs to be cleaned today (what you actually want your kid to learn in the long run). There are better ways to communicate the message of shared responsibility than through the creation of social isolation (and yes this is social isolation, wifi is used in how humans particularly young people communicate with their friends in real life and online nowadays).
The major point I want to emphasize is that this type of action establishes a precedent and a set of emotions in a kid and none of those emotions are positive. It shows that important and vital things will be withheld, potentially without warning. It tells the kid they do not have a say in how their environment is structured, it tells them they do not have the right to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense of incompetence in themselves and resentment towards that authority that doesn’t really consider their desire and needs.
I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting doesn’t demand a kid do something or else, it gives a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on their own, and when they do both of you will be better served. The kid will have more motivation to get it done, and there isn’t a building sense of resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, and there are situations and kids it doesn’t work for, but seeing this post out of context does give me bad parenting/potential abuse vibes.
Hey! Thanks a ton. Since making this comment offhandedly, I have gotten over fifty Anon messages telling me I’m a spoiled brat, that my abuse is fake, and that I should take my own life and stop being a burden on my abusive parents. People perceived my comment as “lol this is inherently abusive” rather than the “man this gives me the Willie’s cause it’s resonant to my own abuse.” I intended.
In that time, few people have stood up for me or even tried to understand my side. Thank you for having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of invalidating her. It legitimately means a lot to me.
Yeah this creeps me out on so many levels. It’s different from the stereotypical picture of abuse but that doesn’t make it any less abusive and it’s important to look at this sort of controlling behavior and call it abuse too.
This type of abuse is insideous, I’m glad to see others calling it out for what it is. I’ve heard variations on this where parents would “playfully” threaten to put the child up for adoption if their house was cleaned spotlessly by their children. Not the children’s rooms or even just a shared living space, no, the whole house.
As someone who has worked with youth and troubled teens for years, the primary reason I see teens “acting up” with their parents is because the parents aren’t treating the teen with respect and offering them an emotionally safe environment. The teens are rebelling for a damn good reason. It isn’t just “hormones.” There are times I wanted to punch parents in the throat for how they treated their teens. I would try to help clean up the mess but there are only so many times you can try to sit someone down and convince them that they are good and deserving of love and respect and aren’t a failure before you want to just go and tear their parents a new one for continually emotionally abusing their own child.
And many of these were “good families.” Families that looked “normal” and “healthy.” Ha ha. No I spit on that image of the classic authoritarian family structure.
This is called chores. Only kids who’ve never been abused and have been spoiled call this abuse
No love, this isn’t about having to do the work. Don’t confuse the issue. This fits the classic model of abuse. If you care to argue, please take it up with the DSM 5.
And just to clarify, you coming at me and the others on this thread with insults and a complete lack of respect for what has actually been said is not correct behavior. I don’t expect you to agree since you yourself are exhibiting the traits of someone who feels entitled to hurt and bully others to get your way.
Yes spoiled brat it is. Damn I envy you kids. You had it so good you think helping around the house is a form of abuse
What are you hoping to achieve with these insults? You’re ignoring what was said that it’s not about helping around the house and have been tracking down multiple people who have responded to this post to add harassing comments. It’s past the time for you to stop.
Why are you so spoiled you think you’re entitled to someone else’s things? The wifi isn’t yours brat. It’s the payer.
But you’ve never been abused so you have to convince everyone that good parenting is abuse
He literally thinks people arguing with him is abuse. More proof these people have never been abused
As somebody who was abused physically and emotionally all of my life: Everyone calling this abuse shut the fuck up and sit your spoiled asses down. Entitled brats.
Hey guys I was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually and I think this is abuse.
How? How is requiring them to do chore to access wifi (that they’re not paying for and its not a necessity or right) abuse?
Kids need internet access for their school work. Both my you gest siblings need yo have internet access to use their school assigned ipads to compelte assignments. With holding their ability to complete school work is abuse.
I’m in school. It’s not always a necessity. And I’m sure if the kid needed it the parent would give it but wifi is not a right or something, its a privelege otherwise being too poor for internet would be neglect
My youngest siblings are being raised by my grandmother and theyre with a ptogram paying 12 dollars a months for internet for their school work. Regardless its always creepy seeing things like this as a victim of child abuse. Yes chores are normal but this seems gross.
It’s just chores idk what could possibly be gross about it. If you don’t do what you’re asked you lose priveleges, simple.
I mean i guess kids that arent abused woyldnt be made uncomfortable by having no contact with the outside world.
Wifi isn’t the only way to contact the outside world. But also like if its not for like a long time, not being allowed contact with the outside world isn’t like super awful. It’s just being grounded. Thats how it works.
It’s the authoritarian manner of the note that makes it at the least toe the line of abuse. It’s not losing privileges or having to do chores. Also OPs point is just that it reminds them of their abuse… so like.
Now of course, it is possible the kid agreed to this. We know very little of the actual context, so it could both just be a fun, innocent way to get the kid to do chores, or it could be a small symptom of a much worse problem.
You can’t really deny that there could be something slightly or a lot more insidious about this than just doing chores though. I don’t think this is inherently abusive but neither does OP. That wasn’t really the point.
Agressive reminder to all parents that if your child is really struggling with/is unable to do basic everyday things like going to school , socializing or helping out at home your first assumption should be that there might be something wrong mentally or physically, not that they’re bad, lazy people who aren’t trying their hardest.
I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again. Apologize to your children when you are in the wrong. The minuscule hit to your pride is nothing compared to the impact you will have on your children. You are not an all powerful supreme being. You are human. You’ll make mistakes occasionally, and you’ll have to apologize for them. It’s ok to own that. You’ll be teaching them how to register wrong doing, how to correctly apologize for it, that admitting fault is an ok and necessary life skill to have. Most importantly, you’re showing them that they can trust you to do the right thing.
I will preach this to my dying breath. Apologize to your kids when you’re in the wrong.
honestly if u have kids please be prepared for them to say at some point “i reject the path you planned for me. this is the path i’ve created instead” and be prepared to reply “that’s great i’m so proud of you”.
Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.
THISTHISTHISTHIS
no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers
Amen and amen!
the only one I disagree with is the last one. a kid pounding on the piano is harming the piano. teach them to play it gently and kindly, and the piano will sing kindly and gently to them back. then they can play whatever atonal modern art mess they want and I’ll say it’s as lovely as Mozart (until they’re old enough to start taking lessons, get them while they’re young I say, hehehhueh)
other than that yes, this is a Good Important Post; encourage the teeny humans in your life bc how you treat them when they’re young will have at least some effect on who they become as adults
I agree with @mememic-bry, be kind to pianos. Otherwise, yes, yes, and yes.
ifesbob 