POKÉMON FACT
Tag: parenting
Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid stupid
Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid lazy
Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid ugly
Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid worthless
Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid idiot
Under no circumstances is it okay to call your kid fat
Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids gender
Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids sexuality
Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids grades
Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids hobbies
Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kids mental illness
Under no circumstances is it okay to make fun of your kid or call them names
Damn my parents did just about everything on this list
I pray for the day that this becomes obvious to everyone
well,,
Also important: just because YOU don’t think it counts as making fun, doesn’t mean your child doesn’t feel like you’re mocking them.
i am filled with rage when people legit think that children shouldnt be in public “you shouldnt bring your children to the supermarket, mall etc” i know it so hard for you to understand this but children are people and they have a right to exist in public spaces. what? are mothers supposed to stay locked up inside with their babies until their kids are like 12 years old and fuckass here has decided they are Grown Enough to see the light of day.
This post made by shitty mother who brought their screaching 5 year old to a restaurant gang
not yet! but hopefully one day! die mad about it
“shitty mother” kids not handling their emotions like an adult is hardly bad parenting but go off I guess
Honestly I think that a lot of parents COULD be better about preventing meltdowns and SHOULD work harder at doing so, but the solution to that isn’t to just advocate for banning children from public spaces altogether, it’s to teach better parenting (thankfully the stupid “let them cry themselves to sleep” bull is finally being exposed as unintentional abuse) and also for all of us to be a little more tolerant.
Now if a parent is letting their five year old run around and nearly trip the waiters carrying hot trays and not doing anything about that, they’re being straight-up bad parents and need to be taught to snap out of apathy and actually do some damn parenting.
So when a kid is laying on the floor in a shop screaming u get down to their level n say ohhh noooo darling don’t do that pleaaaase that’s naughty cmon get up be a good boy or girl. The kids gonna stop n get up lmao. U say if u don’t get up right now I’m gonna give ya a whip on the arse..1…2…n I bet they’ll get up.
No. You remove your child from the scene (because children are often reacting to overstimulation such as the grocery store is too loud, the room is too bright, there’s people they don’t know around, they’ve been there too long etc) and go somewhere quiet. You then sit with them as they cry, reassuring them that you are present, and once they have stopped crying you offer comfort and ask if they know what it is that they were so upset about. Then you calmly talk to them so they – and you – can understand and fix the problem that was the root of the tantrum.
Bad example;
‘Why are you crying?’
‘I’m hungry’
‘Well we’re going home soon!’Good example;
‘Do you know why you were crying?’
‘I’m hungry’
‘We’re at the grocery store to get food. We only have three more aisles to go. We can count them down together. Then we’ll go home and we can eat.’Children don’t understand ‘soon’; even for adults, ‘soon’ is a relative term. children understand things like ‘three aisles. Two. One. Now we’re going home!’
Children need communication, understanding and teaching. Not beating, intimidating or belittling.
Get therapy.
THIS. IS. SO. IMPORTANT!!!!
anyways child pageants should be illegal
as a former pageant kid the amount of emotional abuse i went through because of my mother always pushing me to be beautiful and then blaming me and hating me when i didnt win was fucked up. being a pageant kid gave me an eating disorder and has seriously fucked with my self esteem. don’t put your kids through this. don’t let your 5 year old be objectified by others and yourself.
asexual-not-asexual-detective:
Am I the only one who thinks that hitting a kid and abuse are different things? Like, if I ever had a kid, I wouldn’t spank their ass raw or something like that. But a bop on the mouth or the ear pull or a smack upside the head? Yea. Those are behavior modifiers.
Except they’re not.
The studies done by the trained psychologists in this joke show that little kids don’t associate being hit with the thing they’ve done wrong. Very small children only understand consequences that are directly caused by the thing they did. Steal a biscuit, biscuit tastes good. Then for no reason mummy hit me. Very different to stole a biscuit, now no biscuit after dinner because I stole a biscuit.
And they also show that when a child is old enough to understand why they are being hit that non-physical punishment is equally as effective and less mentally harmful in the long run.
Do you know who benefits the most from hitting as a punishment? The parent. It gives a satisfaction rush. Parents do it because it makes them feel good.
Basically kids have two stages: too young to understand why they are being hit so physical punishment is useless for anything other than teaching a child that bigger stronger people can hit you whenever they like (Which sounds like the same lesson you would learn from abuse)
And the second stage is old enough to be reasoned with so many punishment options are available and you chose physical violence because it makes *you* feel better, which is an abusive action.
The only time a person should ever use violence against another human being, of any age, is to stop that person from being violent themselves.
Do not punish the behaviour you want to see
I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?
But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize, snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?
Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)
Or any sentence containing the word “finally”.
If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.
Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.
My mother used to shame me when I cleaned. “Oh, you’re finally taking out the trash! “Oh wow, there’s actually a floor in your room!” Etc etc. It was never encouraged, just mocked.
I’m 36 years old and I still can’t fucking clean if anyone else is around. I feel embarrassed and ashamed when I do. Can’t even put dishes in the dishwasher without feeling anxious.
Don’t do this to your kids.
Can parents stop acting like providing a child’s basic needs is something to be earned? So many kids grow up traumatised because they were made to feel guilty about the existence they never asked for
Why is this even a question? How is your child meant to learn to apologize when you don’t do it yourself as a parent?
This is actually a really important factor in how I establish healthy, trusting relationships with kiddos at work. I am a human and therefore make mistakes, which children will catch and call me out for, because children are information sponges with no verbal filters.
When a kid says, “but miss tommy, i thought you said we’re not supposed to do that,” I answer, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do it again.” It could be something small, maybe a kid sees me biting my nails, or maybe I grabbed a kid by the arm who was about to collide with something solid but I grabbed too hard. Whatever it is, it’s important to
- acknowledge the mistake,
- apologize to the kid,
- and verbalize a plan to correct it.
Not only does this model HOW to make an effective apology, but it establishes trust on many levels. The children who witness the exchange now know that:
- I will be honest with them even if it does not serve my ego,
- I care about their feelings,
- and I am taking their needs seriously.
Apologize to your kids when you mess up! It won’t diminish your authority as their grown-up, it shows that you respect that authority!
This is one thing emotionally abusive parents are known for. Holding power over accountability and they wonder why their children don’t want to be around when they get older.
ifesbob 