I can feel my heart shatter when I realize that I’ll never be as happy and excited over little things – drawing a pretty picture, playing in a pool, seeing my favorite animal at the zoo – like I did when I was a kid. That feeling where the energy is building up so much in your stomach and chest that you have to scream and jump for joy. I can try to emulate that excitement as much as I can, but it’ll never be as genuine and strong as it was when I was little. And it really, really hurts to think about.