thewonderzebra:

Hey NHL,

Here’s a brilliant idea: how about you go after abusers, r*pists, and other criminals who are still allowed to play/coach/officiate in the league instead of going after a man for a trace amount of something that was LIKELY an error in the drug testing process and/or environmental contamination.

20 games? For 7 billionths of a milligram? Come on. You have bigger things to worry about…so worry about them, and leave Nate Schmidt alone.

nhl teams as vines

doitfortheboys:

more of my bullshit, y’already know what it is.

(also, you might wanna hit up @hockeyplayersasmyfavoritevines​ because she’s cool and posts stuff like this on the reg)


bruins: it’s a fucking bear! 

sabres: chicken nuggets 

wings: ymca yungman 

panthers: singing woman not allowed on bus 

habs: i coulda dropped my croissant! 

sens: good evening 

bolts: steppin on the beach 

leafs: what the FUCK is up, kyle

canes: obi-wan mr. sandman 

jackets: dudes turning soft, i stay hard 

devils: paper bag over head dance

isles: club jam

nyr: lipstick in your valentino bag

flyers: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!

pens: blocked and reported

caps: accept yourself, love youself

avs: we all die – you either kill yourself or get killed

stars: two bros, chillin’ in a hot tub

wild: shower time, adderall, a glass of whiskey, and diesel jeans

preds: troy speaks right from the heart

blues: around the world like la la la la la

jets: baby it’s cold

ducks: YOU WANT ME TO COME RIGHT NOW

coyotes: -this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you!

flames: i was in a band

oilers: seinfeld – numb

kings: umbrellas / run

sharks: it is wednesday my dudes

canucks: get fucked, goose

vgk: me and my omelet

also, runner-up vines, because some were too real to leave out:

(the bruins / zdeno chara) (sabres) (wings) (panthers) (the current habs) (sens) (bolts) (leafs) (canes) (jackets) (devils) (isles) (nyr) (flyers) (pens) (caps) (avs) (stars / jaime benn’s voice) (wild) (preds) (blues) (jets) (ducks) (coyotes) (flames) (oilers) (kings) (sharks) (canucks) (vgk)

bluegrasshole:

nhl stats are so wild like ‘he’s the fourth player to ever score a goal and an assist and a hot girl’s number in under two periods before october 27th since 1976 while also wearing red underwear" and everyone is like :OOO he is!!!

michiganbabe22:

Things that are better than the NHL’s decisions

* Stubbing your toe

* Burning yourself with a curling iron

* Biting into a pizza roll and burning your tongue

* Introducing yourself on the first day of school

* Not being able to breathe through your nose

* Cold French fries

* Hitting your funny bone

* Getting a papercut

* Drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth

* A mosquito bite in between your toes

* Smudging your nail polish

* Kerry Fraser as a referee

* Michel Therrien as a coach

* Faceoff penalty rule

* Stepping in water while wearing socks

michiganbabe22:

spoopysexyseguin:

michiganbabe22:

** Rant Ahead **

I understand hockey is rough. Players get injured, there’s blood, hits, knife shoes, etc. HOW-FUCKING-EVER, if a player is down on the ice in the shooting lane while players are fucking slapshotting the puck at the goal STOP THE FUCKING GAME.

I don’t particularly give a flying puck what team has the puck. I don’t particularly care if the guy might be faking it. Blow the fucking whistle.

And to say that “it’s hockey” or “he wasn’t in danger” honestly makes me feel so gobsmacked.

If Versteeg hadn’t had his hand by his face, he could’ve gotten a fucking slapshot to his head. For the love of fucking Gretzky NHLPA, every passing season I get more and more convinced that you are the most worthless piece of shit since white crayons.

Pull thy head from thy ass and do your fucking job.

Add this incident to all the other uncalled and unpenalised injuries so far this season while they concentrate on slashing penalties for ‘player safety’.

Let’s make a list of times player health and safety was not a priority of the referees. (please feel free to add to this- I know there are more that I haven’t seen or have forgotten)

Marc-Andre Fleury– kneed in the head, penalty not called, play not immediately halted, concussion protocol not followed- plays out rest of game, now out with concussion

Nathan MacKinnon– high sticked under visor, penalty not called, play not halted, pulled from game with vision issues and suspected eye injury (luckily not, was just very close)

Frank Vatrano– takes bad hit from Erik Gudbranson, delayed penalty call from referee, Vatrano does not return to game. While Canucks were heavily penalised and Gudbranson ejected, NHL precedence in punishing players for this kind of play is shitty and nowhere near as hash as it should be if they actually want to discourage this kind of shit from happening. 46% of a survey on 1800 people don’t think he should be suspended for the hit.

Kris Versteeg– collapses on ice when hit blocking a puck. Play not called despite his obvious inability to stand. Almost takes puck to the head (only saved by his own hand protecting him) by an unaware Jeff Skinner.

👏👏👏 good addition @spoopysexyseguin, thanks!!