Tag: important

mckitterick:

treasach:

treasach:

Hey, I just want everyone to know that what the world is going through is a legitimate trauma. Full on. It fits the “official” definition and everything. This is a traumatic event.

That means that it’s normal and expected to find yourself using coping mechanisms that you thought you were done with, to find yourself numbed out, to be on the verge of constant panic attacks, to be acting impulsively and compulsively, to engage in very old patterns, to have wide swings of every behaviour especially regarding sleep, food, and sex.

The research shows that people in a traumatic situation who most often develop PTSD (which I would say we are all at risk of) or have their existing PTSD/C-PTSD intensified are folks who cannot or believe they cannot do anything about it the trauma event.

So, if you are able, look for a place in all of this where you can feel that you can do something. Harass a company not doing enough for its employees, sign a petition, check in on a neighbour, set alarms to remind yourself to eat (it’s on my own to do list for today), intentionally spend time every day doing straw breathing to shift your sympathetic nervous system response. You don’t have to become some social media hero, or spend all your time improving yourself. But if you can find something that makes you feel like you can do something for yourself that decreases the trauma load on you, it will greatly benefit you going forward.

If anyone has any questions about this, my asks are open, or you can message me. (I cannot do any online therapy, I am happy to share information about trauma itself and any tools that I know)

It is okay to reblog this.

– Registered Clinical Counsellor, with 10+ years specifically working with trauma

As we are coming up soon to the one year anniversary of all of this (today is the first day of Wuhan’s lockdown), I just want to encourage you all to remember that anything you’re struggling with may become heightened in the next few weeks/two months. I know the exact day my household went into isolation/lockdown, and essentially still is, and I am preparing myself for the potential of a very bad week or so then. Your experiences may vary but be aware of the possibility of:

– increased irritability
– poorer sleep
– heightened startle response
– increased vigilance
– inability to concentrate
– nightmares
– muscle tension/overall pain
– dissociation
– increase of any mental health symptoms you may struggle with

The best advice I have for when the time comes is to: remind yourself that it’s a normal response around anniversaries of difficult things; give yourself as much slack as you can around things that aren’t necessities; give yourself as much soothing as possible (blankets, heat, gentle movies/music, whatever helps); keep yourself grounded in the present; remind yourself that it will pass because no feeling lasts forever.

I wanted to make this post so that if some of these responses do happen to you, you’ll know why and thus decrease any panic/worry/spiral you may have about what is happening.

and if you need another excuse to accept this, we’ve had lots more trauma than “just” a deadly pandemic, too, like what’s happening with the Texas power grid, what the USA has been going through since the January 6 insurrection, and what those living in Russia and Myanmar are contending with

cauliflowerbitch:

writhe:

writhe:

i have a hill to die on real quick

phrases like “you don’t owe anyone anything” and “relationships aren’t transactional” have the power to be used in ways that are very backwards and harmful

for example, no you don’t owe anyone anything in that if some creep is trying to get with you, you can block him without feeling bad. you don’t owe kindness to people who are transphobic or racist or bigoted.

but, you can’t use this as an excuse to fuck over people who have helped you. “you don’t owe anyone anything” isn’t an excuse to allow yourself to forget compassion and basic empathy, it isn’t an excuse for you to be an asshole just because you find it easier to be one

relationships aren’t transactional in that if your partner does something nice for you, you are indebted to them. they do these things because they love you; it is their choice to express love through these gestures

but they are transactional in that you both actively need to be putting time and care into the relationship. ignoring the dynamic of one person caring too much (and putting in excessive (emotional an literal) work and labor) while the other does nothing isn’t healthy. one person can’t solely take and the other person can’t solely give- that’s dangerous, and you can’t put the bandaid of “this isn’t transactional” over a relationship that is draining you in all capacities

i’m tired of seeing these things being misconstrued and used as an excuse to hurt people, while framing it as a way of taking care of yourself

i think abt this all the time!!!

inkdrawndreamer:

Black kids deserve to be treated like kids.

Black kids deserve to be able to grow up at their own pace instead of being held to adult standards as children.

Black kids deserve to grow up without fear that white adults will somehow feel “threatened” by them and make them suffer for it.

Black kids deserve a safe place to unload their thoughts and feelings without being belittled or punished for it.

Black kids deserve a support system.

Black kids deserve to be taken seriously.

Black kids deserve to take up space.

monklemore:

disability advocacy went wrong when it became about inspiration porn and “differently abled” and savants. its incredible that that guy with no legs did a triathlon but your sister with no legs will not and she doesnt need prosthetics or five hour training days to deserve respect and compassion and accommodations. its incredible that that autistic guy can look at a city from a helicopter for an hour and then draw the entire detailed skyline from memory when he lands but your autistic friend cannot and they dont need to have a special Autism Power to deserve respect and compassion and accommodations. 

activism framed around “we are just as CAPABLE” means that when people genuinely are less capable they are left behind. activism framed around “we are just as WORTHY” is fundamental to radical compassion.

aromaticcedarwood:

Just because you know what you did hurt someone, just because you couldn’t help it or had no choice, doesn’t exonerate you from the consequences of that tattered relationship.

Hurting someone you love, even if it wasn’t your first choice, is still something you have to answer for, even if you feel bad about it. Other people’s emotions do not simply exit if you reason your way out of it

Reasons an FP/anyone may not have replied to you yet

bpdrotten:

I know that a lot of us with BPD- and other disorders such as anxiety, DPD, paranoia etc- can get really worried when those we care about don’t reply- or anyone! We worry they hate us, are angry, are leaving us, are hurt. So, here’s a list of possible reasons why they may not be replying that aren’t those! 

  • They’re asleep. This is kinda subjective to the time they’re in, but this included naps! Sometimes people fall asleep suddenly, or fall asleep before your reply
  • They’re busy. They made need to focus on something, or not be allowed on their phone. Or, they want to save their reply to you for when they can put their full attention on you and give a proper reply
  • They’re unsure how to reply yet. sometimes people need time to think of how to reply, and want to give a proper one
  • They don’t feel like talking to anyone right now. It’s not that they don’t wanna talk to you specifically- they may just be socially drained or want to focus on themselves! 
  • They’re not in a mental place where they can reply to you. This includes perhaps they’re dissociating, or can’t think straight to reply 
  • Their phone is dead. Plain and simple
  • Their wifi dropped. Same again 
  • They’re taking pleasure time. Video games, reading anything. Sometimes people need time to relax- it doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy talking to you, they just wanna fully immerse themselves in their activity.
  • They’re interacting with someone/in a situation where it’s not appropriate to use their phone. Maybe at dinner, church, a lesson, anything
  • They suddenly have to deal with something urgent.
  • They forgot. I know this one is scary/hurts- but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to them! Maybe they saw your message whilst busy, thought they need to reply later, then forgot. Some people also have memory issues that mean they forget to reply to things.
  • They’re not logged into what you talk in. This goes esp for facebook/tumblr
  • They havn’t got your message. This can be for lots of reasons! Bad connection, app is broken, phone is slow, anything like that

autiestella-archive:

…this “never explain stuf” internet culture hurts. jokes, analysis, problems, things they did wrong, anything. idea that somehow explain ruins, or is burden, or whatever.

gonna tell secret: some of us online? got stuff like intelectual disability. maybe some not seem like it, maybe got OK enough talking skill, but doesnot mean still can understand all. on flipside, yea, some ppl rly can’t understand much or speak well atall, & not their fault.

so, lot resources or articles which ppl say explain, that hold up as THE information source – almost guarantee inacesible to us. our only hope understand stuff, often, is ask other ppl.

& yea, whatever, “just ask friend/caregiver” but not all us got that, & even then not always they know answers. at v least being outward hostile to genuine confusion is not nice way handle, whether person ID or no