Friendly reminder that you’re under no obligation to love other people, whether they’re your parents, siblings, other family members or anyone you know. Someone’s love is something you earn through experiences and time, not because someone is “titled” under a label that they’ve put themselves. You’re not forced to love anyone who you think doesn’t deserve that love.
in 2019 we stop guilt tripping people into forgetting the struggles you caused them
i feel like i need to explain this. You shouldn’t apologize to other people by insulting yourself. “I’m so sorry, i’m so stupid i suck” is not an apology. It’s a guilt trip. You make the person stop focusing on why they’re hurt and focus on helping you instead. An apology combined with self deprecation is not an apology and never will be thank you for coming to my ted talk
Can we just… normalize teens loving their parents? Like obviously you’re not obligated to if your parents are shitty, but damn, I love my mom. She’s there for me all the time and sure we have rough patches but honestly she’s the greatest. Like. We need teens to know that they don’t have to hate their parents just cause.
It must be nice to come from a nonabusive family. One that doesn’t traumatized every emotional interaction to the point where you drive away any sign of love as a form of manipulation because that’s all that you were raised with. 🤷♀️
It is.
Reading Comprehension
but loving ur parents is already normalized and its the kids w/ abusive parents that actually have to deal with misunderstandings and ignorance from others regarding this topic.
Hey there, I’m talking about the trope where it’s seen as super uncool to like your parents that was literally pushed on teens through the media since the culture shift in the early 60s. The post has nothing to do with abusive parents. I was abused as a kid and honestly if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse this has been a psa
“if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse”
Teen with abusive parents: I hate my parents
Teen influenced by society: Me too mine are the worst
The takeaway for teen 1: This is normal and it’s supposed to be this way
The takeaway for teen 2: My friend’s parents are like mine
The takeaway for any adult listening: All kids who complain about their parents are just being rebellious
and completely off topic but i want to remind ppl online that no one is entitled to your personal life no matter how many people pester you or manipulate you to share
like i see so many ppl who share really deep personal info, perhaps even traumatic experiences in detail, because anons accused them of lying or being whiny or something like that. i promise you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to just to please or prove wrong someone you can’t even put a face or name to
it seems so strange to me that the only people it is socially acceptable to live with (once you reach a certain stage in life) are sexual partners? like why can’t i live with my best friend? why can’t i raise a child with them? why do i need to have sex with someone in order to live with them? why do we put certain relationships on a pedestal? why don’t we value non-sexual relationships enough? why do life partners always have to be sexual partners?
My grandmother and grandfather more or less adopted my grandmother’s best friend back in the 50s. After my grandfather died (before I was born, back in 1968 or so) they continued to keep house together, platonic best friends, and they hung together until they died, a few months apart, in 2007.
It’s quite recently, as far as I can tell, that living arrangements like that have stopped being regarded as normal.
It’s absolutely a new thing to find this stuff weird, and it has a lot to do with media pretending that the nuclear family and marriage are the only reasons to live with other people.
I’ve lived in a 3 adult household my whole life. My parents and their best friend. This was never weird to me, even though everyone my age thought it was because the media never portrayed these kinds of housing arrangements. As far as i was concerned, I just had an extra non-blood parent.
According to my parents, it was very common in the 70′s-80′s to buy houses with your friends, because it was financially smart to do so (so long as you were certain they were close friends who wouldn’t fall out with you and fuck everything up). Houses and house payments are much more manageable when you split the bills 3-4 ways instead of just two.
Millenials aren’t the first to think it’s a great idea to just shack up with friends. That’s housemating without the hastle of living with strangers. It’s still a good idea to shack up with people you’ve known a long time so you know how you’ll get on living together, but still. In the current economy, it’s pretty much now our only option for affording anything.
I think, and I’m not researched on this, but I think conservatives probably tried to suppress images of non-nuclear families because they likely thought it would encourage ideas of polygamy, polyamory, open sexual relationships with or without marriage, as well as other relationship types they thought of as un-christian or unsavoury. I could be wrong, but that shit wouldn’t surprise me.
(And i want to make a note that there’s also a disturbing amount of asexual denial around that makes people go ‘if they’re living together they HAVE to be banging because why wouldn’t they?’ and that shit both creeps me out and annoys me no end. People can be in relationships without sex. People can live together without sex. Sex is not the be-all and end-all and people being taught to think it is really need to stop).
Don’t let the media fool you into believing you can only live with a sexual partner or blood family. Someone somewhere has an agenda for making these seem abnormal, when really it’s just practical.
A lot of people acted like it was super weird when two of my brothers decided to move states with me when I started my postdoc. I got really used to giving a little canned speech about it because it seemed to bewilder people so much. (Their leases happened to be up! We could share rent! They wanted to try somewhere new!)
The notable exception was my grandma, who was just like, “oh, yes, when we were young my sister and I decided to move cross-country together and it was lovely.”
More of this kind of thing for everyone, pls.
The implication that close sibling relationships must also be a warning sign for incest also peeves me off; what kind of society are we living in anyway
Having a multi-adult household unit also just makes a shit-ton of sense, tbh. Much easier to split not only the bills, but also the housework and child-rearing responsibilities. Communal living ftw.
It’s also super a capitalism thing.
With only two working-age people in the house, it’s very difficult to make ends meet without one of them (or increasingly, these days, both of them) working away the vast majority of their waking hours to earn enough money to support the household. The other person, if they aren’t also working similar hours, is there to support that working person, full time, with unpaid labour.
The end result of this is that nobody has any time or energy to spend together properly, and they just end up tired and miserable and shackled to their work, throwing money at their problems because it’s all they can do. It’s very easy to convince tired, miserable people to spend their money in the ways you want them to, and it’s also very easy to manipulate and oppress people who don’t have the energy or the means to fight for their rights. Convince a whole nation that this is the way the world is supposed to work, and you’ll be well away.
Death to the cancerous myth of the nuclear family.
I wish more people didn’t act like having a phone and internet access means you are / should be available 24/7
like when I was dating my ex, I would sometimes look at my phone in the morning to find a barrage of texts he’d sent at 2am while having an anxiety attack, but the last 5 texts would be him upset with me for not responding … like bruh I was asleep, my phone was off, wake up your roommate next time or call a hotline if you need actual assistance instead of texting your girlfriend who is physically not anywhere near you and also not conscious
I’ve had people get on my case for not responding within an hour or two of messaging me. not considering that perhaps I was in class, or at work, or doing homework, or maybe even just taking a little time to myself where I don’t have to interact with people. heck, sometimes I’ll go a whole day without looking at my phone because I have other stuff I need to get done, and this is treated like a crime. as though having a phone means I’m contractually obligated to have it on my person and on alert all the friggin time. I’m not. and I don’t.
being online doesn’t obligate me to interact with anyone either. and online/offline status isn’t a proper indicator of activity to begin with. maybe I have an app running in the background but I muted it to avoid distraction. or maybe I was using my phone for something important so I swiped your message away without reading it, making it look like I suddenly went offline. maybe I have tumblr open in a separate tab and simply forgot about it. maybe I read your message in the one minute it took me to walk from lunch to my block class and I can’t respond for at least the next 3 hours.
maybe these are all things that people should be allowed to do. maybe, just maybe, people should be allowed to portion their time and resources the way they need instead of catering to the impatience of others.
also read receipts are highly intrusive and they need to die
some of you never learned the difference between “bad writing” and “narrative choice i didn’t like” and it shows
“I like these side characters and I’m mad that they don’t get as much development as I want” narrative choice, not bad writing
“This character’s abuse of another character is constantly excused and played as a joke even by characters who supposedly care about the character being abused” bad writing
ifesbob 