saw someone unironically answer an ask with “sure! i’ll do that 🙂 /gen /srs /nm /pos” and y’all. this is what we were cautioning against when we warned not to overuse tone indicators. nothing about that phrase implies sarcasm, ill intent, or anger. there was no need to use a single tone indicator there, but if you really must, just /gen would suffice. tone indicators are only helpful to clarify something that wasn’t already clear in the message, not to confirm something that wasn’t already in question. only use them if the text could actually be misconstrued without them, otherwise they’re redundant and actually start to lose meaning.
Just as a PSA, I’ve never reblogged that “your mom will die” post. I’ve seen it half a dozen time so or more and I’ve ignored it every time. My mom’s doing great.
You’re safe. I’ve done the test for you. You can safely ignore it. It is a failed curse. It doesn’t work.
Lmao they really took that chance tho
No, I didn’t. In my mind it wasn’t a chance.
But for some people, it would feel like one. There are people for whom posts like that cause great distress. Not because they think those posts actually work, but because those posts prey on anxiety disorders by exploiting the way anxious brains function. It’s an inherently cruel thing to do and I do not blame anyone who is unwilling to take the ‘chance,’ because regardless of whether or not they genuinely believe their mom will be affected, the emotional distress caused by having seen and not reblogged the post is not worth it.
I do not suffer from this particular brand of anxiety. But I do have anxiety about other, equally unlikely things. So I can empathize with people for whom these types of chain posts cause genuine distress, and I can recognize how needlessly cruel the posts themselves are–particularly because people who DO reblog them often do so at the expense of followers, or at the risk of getting rude comments about how ‘gullible’ they are, or even angry remarks from other anxiety sufferers who start blaming the victim instead of blaming the person who created the damn post in the first place.
My point in creating this post was simply to attempt to ease the anxiety of those who are negatively impacted by those types of chain posts. It has nothing to do with whether or not I actually believe that ignoring that post puts my mom in danger. I don’t. If I’d had even a modicum of doubt about that, I wouldn’t have taken the chance.
But hopefully a few fellow anxiety sufferers now have ammunition against the part of their brains that torments them with that whispered “but what if…?” every time they see the post (or others like it).
I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’
“Whatcha mean?”
“You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “
And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’
Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE.
I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.
Jill. Jill you are wonderful.
no joke, this is such an important aspect of overcoming trauma. I mean the trauma of abusive parents, the trauma of broke ass parents who got toxic because of it, the trauma of capitalism. Like fuck it. Go to Wrestlemania. Build a shit ton of terrariums.
I took a stained glass class during the pandemic and now I have a hummingbird hanging in my kitchen window. And this year I’m finally getting chickens!!
This is literally why I have my Sailor Moon thermos.
it doesn’t even have to be the trauma of bad parents. It can be the everyday human pain of “I lost my favorite toy when I was 12 and never found it again.” It can be the parents who loved you and fully sympathized with your desire to have the thing, but honey, we just don’t have the money right now. It can be the fact that you no longer live with your brother who’s highly allergic to dogs, so you can finally have the dog you always wanted that you always understood why you couldn’t get, and you accepted it, but it was still painful. It can be the Atari games or Nintendo games or Sega games that don’t exist anymore that you played in your childhood.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized – you don’t have to be suffering some great trauma, something unusual and particularly damaging, to feel pain. You don’t have to have lost your entire home in a hurricane to have lost something you truly valued and miss a lot. You don’t have to have had toxic parents to have been denied some things you wanted because they just didn’t have the money, or the resources, or the health.
Time is pain. Loss and disappointment are part of human existence. But you don’t have to try to justify why your specific loss or disappointment is especially bad to admit that it hurts and do something to rectify that hurt in some small way.
My reply is – no, I don’t, because tumblr actually makes it super easy to ignore the reblog/like ratio. The two are lumped together into a category called ‘notes’ so unless you are looking for it, you won’t know what your reblog/like ratio is, and it’s super easy to view it as a lump sum of people who saw your art and smiled.
Here’s the thing; liking vs reblogging is not personal. And it isn’t something to try to change the tide over. I’ve seen my fair share of posts on here AND twitter, with most of them CONDEMNING liking – going so far as to call it useless. But I disagree. Strongly.
My opinion on the matter is this – if people wanted to reblog the post, they would reblog it. If they don’t, the cards weren’t right. The stars didn’t align. It isn’t a matter of quality – it’s a matter of the right content being there at the right time for the right audience. Because let’s face is – PLENTY of stuff gets reblogged…. when the circumstances are right.
But the circumstances HAVE to be right. EXACTLY right. There has to be a CHAIN of the exact right circumstances. That’s how sharing ANYTHING works.
Let me put it this way – say we have a hypothetical follower called J.
J is scrolling his dashboard and comes across a post he likes, say, of a frog picture. He likes the post and has to make a decision – to reblog or not reblog the frog?
Say he likes the frog enough to reblog. It’s a natural thing – he wants to show it to his followers. He may not think of it consciously, but he’s following an instinct to share information with people.
But what happens after? Well, it’s not RANDOM. The thing is, J’s followers are NOT the followers of the blog he reblogged it from. They’re a degree of separation from the OP, and are therefore that much less likely to share interests that align with the OP’s content.
SO what happens is this:
Some people on J’s follower list see the frog and like it.
Of the ones that like it, a percentage are just liking out of habit and politeness.
A few are liking it to find it later and show it to their irl friends.
A few are liking it because they DON’T want to reblog it, because it doesn’t align with what they want to show to THEIR followers (who are, let’s be honest, even MORE removed from the OP’s frog-centric content).
And who’s to blame?
ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Because you cannot force people to reblog stuff any more than you can force people to show their friend their phone when they see a funny meme.
Can you imagine something like this happening?
This is ridiculous, right? We cannot presume that people are not reblogging because they’re out to be malicious on purpose. Most likely they just aren’t motivated enough to share it in their own social circles for their own reasons – and that’s FINE.
Look, I get it. People not sharing your stuff gets you less notes. I get how that is disappointing. But if you put ALL of your motivation into internet clout, then you have to put effort into making your art VISIBLE. That’s the only way to get more reblogs.
For example, if you’re prioritizing visibility:
Get more social media accounts. Make sure the usernames are the same, or at least recognizable, across all social media.
Organize your art tumblr and twitter. Make a pinned post that shows off your best work. TAG! Learn common tags used for artwork similar to yours.
Interact with other artists! Comment on posts! Reblog others’ artwork!
NETWORK!!! That is the only way to guarantee that the flowchart of reblogs gets more than once branch.
Twitter circumvents this issue by shoving likes in your face as often as Retweets and that’s certainly one way to give your reblog-tree a boost, but it’s not foolproof. Tumblr has tags you can follow – and that DOES give you more of a possibility of getting reblogs of the content because if people are in a tag, they are LOOKING for stuff. On purpose. They already like what they see.
I feel your pain, I really do, because it took me literal YEARS to find an audience that consistently likes and reblogged my stuff. And your audience deserves to find you – but your followers aren’t your agent. It’s not their job to advertise on your behalf.
They’ll reblog when they want to – and that’s a good thing. It’s more genuine that way.
“we need to stop the stigma towards drug users and addicts” and “we need to challenge the idea that being sober makes you boring” and “we need to stop acting like binge drinking to the extent you’re doing medical damage is fun and normal for young people” are all ideas that can and should coexist.
just so we’re clear, the threshold for “binge drinking to the extent you’re doing medical damage” is waaaay lower than you think.
I work in an obstetrician and gynaecologist’s office. we have to tell patients on a regular basis that they are binge drinking weekly when they think they are simply consuming a normal amount of alcohol on the weekends.
having more than 3 drinks in a single sitting if you have an estrogen based endocrine system is a binge that is medically significant.
having more than 5 in a sitting is a medically significant binge for someone with a testosterone based endocrine system.
every time you do this, it significantly impacts your risk of getting breast cancer, and damages your liver. it takes time to recover from that liver damage. if you’re having a 3-5 or more drink binge on a weekly basis, you are an alcoholic, medically speaking, and your liver is not recovering.
again: the bar for what binge drinking is, medically, is so much lower than what you think it is.
alcohol is a really toxic substance and not something you should fuck around with.
again: if you have an estrogenized hormone system (common for most women), then 3 drinks is a binge. if you have a testosteronized hormone system (common for most men), then 5 drinks is a binge.
anything above that number, consumed as frequently as weekly or more, and you’re medically a binge drinking alcoholic.
also, if you’re drinking any quantity of alcohol 6 days a week or more, that’s another threshold at which, medically speaking, you meet the definition of alcoholism. your liver needs more days without alcohol in your system than just one a week to recover and be healthy.
I don’t say any of this to shame anyone—to me, alcoholism or substance use disorders aren’t a sign of weakness or moral failing. and most of us genuinely don’t know this stuff.
rather—I point this out because it’s important to reduce harm, and find ways to live healthier, happier lives. there is a life outside of constant binge drinking. it’s not always easy to find it. but it’s out there. you deserve a life where your emotional needs are met by something other than alcohol, and a life in which your liver is healthy, and the ways you cope and celebrate and find joy don’t put you at increased risk of cancer.
also–even if alcohol is the only way you can self-medicate, or if you choose to go on with your alcohol usage anyway regardless of other options–you still deserve to know what it’s doing to your body.
information is key. you don’t have to stop drinking, but the utter lack of education on alcohol + the normalization of binge drinking in current society leads to many people drinking without any idea of what it’s doing to their bodies.
addicts deserve accurate medical information regardless of what they decide to do with it. for some people, losing liver function is worth the benefits they get from binge drinking, but they can’t make that choice if they don’t know what the consequences are to begin with.
addicts deserve accurate medical information regardless of what they decide to do with it.
what’s up I fucking despise the way we as a society have normalized caffeine addiction
capitalism: it’s literally impossible to both earn enough to support yourself and take proper care of your health let alone engage in hobbies all at once but good news! your desperation to relieve yourself of the exhaustion we forced on you creates demand for an unregulated mildly addictive drug!
how many times have you heard someone say they get “the WORST headache if they don’t get their morning coffee lol” like its a normal thing and not literal withdrawal
Caffeine can increase anxiety, cause panic attacks and prevent you from sleeping well. It can also lead to further burn out. It doesn’t actually give you more energy if you’re tired, it just masks symptoms of tiredness, so you might keep pushing yourself when you need rest. The more you consume the higher your tolerance tends to become. I drink caffeine only very rarely and find I am sensitive to it–i get uncomfortably jittery if I have so much as a green tea on an empty stomach, while a strong tea like black tea on an empty stomach has given me panic attacks before, and too late in the day prevents me from sleeping (I don’t drink coffee). I have found that when I start to feel tired, eating a snack or resting will replenish my energy rather than relying on caffeine. If you are feeling chronically exhausted there’s likely a reason: lack of sleep, burn out from too much activity, unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, etc. Caffeine doesn’t solve the problem it just masks the symptoms.
i know that at least half of the 1200ish followers are bots but for those of you who are actual humans, would you spread this around? i’m trying to track down a stuffed animal that means the absolute world to me that i think my parents have lost
Once upon a time, there were a group of people migrating from northern India and Pakistan after the invasion “of the Persian Muslims who have since settled in Trukey, all of Europe, and the Americas These people are called the Rromani.” (x)
Once the pale bird feces people of Europe came into contact with the Rromani, they believed them to hail from Egypt, thus calling them Gypsies.
Now about what disgusting white people like you have been trying to turn this racial slur into. There is nothing about being a free spirited traveller if you’re called such a word. What is up with white people romanticizing everything to make it seem all nice and rainbows for them?
“They were not nomadic by choice. They moved around because they had to… they were persecuted everywhere they went, and still are, to this day. They were persecuted alongside the Jews in the Holocaust – the Roma & Sinti”. They were forced to have this sort of nomadic lifestyle because “no country wanted them there”. (x)
Let’s not forget these lovely things Rromani people did and still go through because of who they are:
“Forced sterilization (yes, it is still happening)
Eviction
Harassment (by law enforcement as well as civilians)
Fingerprinting (this is happening in Italy right now – all Romani people are being fingerprinted, simply because our race is considered ‘criminal’)
Concentration camps
Starvation
Exclusion from public schools and welfare programs
Bombings (it is not uncommon in places like the Czech Republic for people to throw molotov cocktails into the windows of Romani homes)” (x)
“First and foremost: THE WORD “GYPSY” IS AN ETHNIC SLUR. It is a pejorative. It is an exonym that is hurtful and offensive. You need to accept this, period.
We are NOT your halloween costume. We are NOT your flowy skirt. We are NOT your fashion sense. We are NOT your wanderlust. We are NOT ‘boho.’
Gypsy is not fashion. Gypsy is not traveling. Gypsy is not a headband or a costume, or boho, or a long skirt.
Gypsy is a hurtful ethnic slur used to refer to the Romani people.
We cannot seem to emphasize this enough to people. This word is a slur. It was created to be a slur. Its meaning does not change. It will always be a slur. It will always be offensive.
‘The word is not yours. It’s ours. We can use it as we see fit. You cannot.’ – biggadjeworld
We are a real people, with traditions, culture, and colorful heritage that spans centuries.” (x)
The “x”s in the post refer to sources you can click on and educate yourself with. On those pages, there are more links to become familiar to this slur and the Rromani people.
This is some shit that the witchcraft and neopagan communities really need to get straight. You are not a “gypsy” witch, that does not make you mystical, you are not special, you are just racist. V sorry.
I REALLLYYY need everyone to read this at least three times so there is no chance for confusion.
This is important! In America we are not used to hearing it as a slur, so it can be hard for us to realize it’s one if we don’t run into it or seek it out. Fly across the pond and say it you will get VERY different responses. If you want replacement words for free spirit and bohemian aesthetic, just use “free spirit” or “hippie” or even “flower child” honestly. Hippie Witch sounds more catchy anyway 🌻
Never appropriate someone’s culture for the sake of ‘aesthetic’!!! Learn the history of the words you use. Respect people. Say what you mean (and if you use these slurs, you MEAN to be racist, no two ways about it!). If “free spirited traveler” appeals to you there are suggestions above- other suggestions:
Many people still don’t know this! I told someone in a mom group I was in. I say was bc I left soon after bc some people were being intentionally bigoted “OMG everyone is so sensitive these days. You’re too PC. I don’t care. I’m still going to use the word.” Major yikes! But I already knew that there are racist in this town
ifesbob 