There’s a theory that early Europeans started saying “brown one” or “honey-eater” instead of “bear” to avoid summoning them, and similarly my friend has started calling Alexa “the faceless woman” because saying her true name awakens her from her slumber
English has an avoidance register used in the presence of certain respected animals, which sounds fancy until you realize it’s spelling out w-a-l-k and t-r-e-a-t in front of the dog.
my favorite thing in the world is how every single human culture, together or independently, created its own version of Pancake. everyone took one look at frying pans and were like “holy shit i have the BEST idea”
i’m not even exaggerating not even a itty teeny bit
Blini (Russian/Ukrainian), Latkes (Ashkenazi Jewish), Injera (Horn of Africa), Pannenkoek (South Africa), Arepas (Colombian/Venezuelan), Cachapa (also Venezuelan/Colombian), Aatayef (Middle Eastern)
Buchimgae (Korean pancake), Cong you bing (Chinese scallion pancake), Okonomiyaki (Japan), oh crap I hit photo limit
I find the human tendency and capacity for stories extremely fascinating
finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester
like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you
wack.
humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?
evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise*
Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:
Periods
Bad backs
Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.
•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.
•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.
•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.
Someone requested a doodle of “some of the Dominion’s anti-human propaganda” but tbh this is too real outside of star trek. this is probably plastered over the entire Citadel in Mass Effect
i still get notifications for this. i get notifications for this every god damned day.
I wasn’t going to reblog this until the last comment.
– People who exercise a lot get knee injuries from overdoing it
– People who only exercise occasionally get knee injuries from being unprepared for the exertion
– People who don’t exercise get knee injuries from being out of shape
– Maybe knees just suck
it me
In knees’ defense, the original plan called for four main leg joints to work together. It’s not THEIR fault the foreleg team fucked off to Hollywood to be elbows!
literally. so FUCKING emotional about neanderthals like do you ever think about the fact that they had language? probably many! did they sit around their campfires talking? did they tell scary stories did they tell each other jokes?? we know they sewed and wore jewelry did they make gifts for each other? how did they show love? grief? joy? facial reconstruction suggests that they SMILED! GRINNED! did they LAUGH? did they SING? god they were people they weren’t human but they were people and we literally won’t know a single thing a single one of them ever thought or said
calm down edgelords, the whole point of society is that it’s not survival of the fittest. literally the point is that we’re leveraging our collective strengths to lead to better outcomes for everyone. we’ve been doing it for a couple thousand years now
The survival strategy our species dumped all its skill points in is cooperation and community. Don’t like it? Walk into the woods and die mad about it.
Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*
a small rhythmic motion: is happening
us for 6 million years and counting: talented brilliant showstopping incredible
ifesbob 