bofa-gender:

Okay, I’m really annoyed by people thinking dysphoria is only debilitating, obvious to self body hate so they must be non-dysphoric. First off, let’s define dysphoria: Sex dysphoria is a disconnect, dissociation, or other discomfort a person has with their sex and/or sex characteristics. It can present A LOT of different ways and be very subtle.

I’m compiling this list to help people see how confusing dysphoria really can be. If you’ve experienced dysphoria in a way that isn’t listed here, please say something to me and I’ll add it. You can read my person experience with my subtle dysphoria that was more obvious upon looking back: [Link]

Ways Dysphoria can present: 
– [Unexplained] depression or anxiety. 
– [Unexplained] anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure or joy)
– Phantom penis or breasts.
– Something feeling “off” or “wrong” in the mirror. 
– Disliking being naked or seeing oneself naked. 
– [Unexplained] anxiety or depression after orgasm or sexual contact. 
– A physical anxiety-like feeling, especially when reminded of one’s sex. 
– Desire to mutilate sex characteristics such as genitals or breasts. 
– [Unexplained] irritability. 
– [Unexplained] resentment for sex opposite of yours. 
– Jealousy of the sex opposite of yours. 
– Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, depressed, resentful, or jealous when people of the sex opposite to yours talk about sex-specific experiences. 
– Stuffing pants/pushing in genitals from a young age and finding it gratifying. 
– Extreme fear of or worse anxiety than normal towards puberty. 
– Stuffing family member’s bras. 
– Making phallic objects and pretending you have a penis. 
– Taking sex toys and finding enjoyment out of pretending you have a penis. 
– Taking every chance with delight to dress up as the opposite sex as a “joke”
– Extreme aversion to gender non-conformity, often times hyper masculinity/femininity to the point of being toxic.  
– [Unexplained] general dissatisfaction when looking in the mirror, especially when naked. 
– Avoidance to being naked. 
– Avoidance to being seen naked by people who it’d normally be acceptable: (Significant others, doctors, etc.)
– Feeling “disconnected” or “Dissociated” from one’s body, especially sex characteristics. 
– Feeling like you’re watching a movie through your eyes. 
– EUPHORIA from transitioning, noticing changes, passing, or doing things reminiscent of the sex opposite of yours. 
– Poor perception of time, days mashing together, time going by fast or slow, etc. 
– Trouble with memory and/or focus. 
– [Unexplained] Flat Affect: Dull emotions, dull facial expressions, dull expression in general.
– General apathy and indifference. . 
– [ Unexplained] General dissatisfaction with life. 
– [Unexplained] Dislike of sex and masturbation. 
– [Unexplained] Discomfort with sex and masturbation. 
– [Unexplained] Uncomfortable physical or emotional feelings or mood swings after orgasm, sex, or masturbation.
– Avoiding sex and masturbation despite wanting to partake in them to avoid uncomfortable feelings after. 
– Feeling as if you’re putting on a performance. 
– Feeling unable to relate to peers of your sex. 
– Feeling more negative or personally hurt about homophobia directed at sex opposite of yours. 
– Frequent daydreaming about being the opposite sex. 
– Frequently making video game or original characters of the opposite sex. 
– Feeling more uncomfortable than normal about hearing your voice played back on a device.
– Feeling uncomfortable in clothing that accentuates your sex characteristics, such as (FtM) women’s jeans making you appear more curvy. 
– Feeling like your libido should be higher or lower, more like the opposite sex.
– Other issues or discomfort with sex or masturbation involving natal genitals, such as vaginismus or vestibulodynia.
– [Unexplained] Dissatisfaction or discomfort with height, feeling you should be taller or shorter/more like the opposite sex. 
– [Unexplained] Strong connection to fictional characters of the opposite sex who you are not attracted to. 
– [Unexplained] Feeling of not belonging or being out of place in social settings where everyone is the same sex as you. 
– As a child, not feeling connected to peers of the same sex. 
– [Unexplained] Extreme aversion to reproducing. 
– [Unexplained] (MtF) Positive or euphoric feelings when thinking about being pregnant.
– (FtM) Using a strap on during sex feels more natural and enjoyable during sex, and (MtF) being penetrated feels more natural and enjoyable.
– [Unexplained] Discomfort or feeling of wrongness at the rate of muscle growth from working out. 
– [Unexplained] Discomfort with fat distribution, especially below the waist.
– Thinking you’re doing something different from what you’re doing when expressing gender nonconformity. Like putting make-up on in front of the mirror as FTM = “Oh my god look at me I’m so faggy!” Building muscle at the gym as MTF = “I’m a strong woman! Subverting gender roles! Breaking the glass ceiling!” There’s dissociation between what you know is actually happening (you look gender conforming) and what you imagine you’re doing.
– Jealousy of trans people who have gotten certain surgeries done
– Difficulty forming connections with people, especially of the same sex.
– Difficulty expressing yourself.
– Unstable identity as an adult.
– Switching clothing styles often due to unexplainable dissatisfaction.
– [Unexplained] dissatisfaction with overall appearance.

Thanks, for several suggestions, Trans-Mettaton! 🙂

THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING. Please send me suggestions and additions of your experiences or others you’ve heard and I will happily and anonymously add them, but right now I’m drawing a blank.

It’s also important to note while gender nonconformity is very common among trans people prior to transition, it is NOT inherently dysphoria or a sign of being trans. Gender nonconformity and disliking/being uncomfortable with gender roles, or your sex/sex characteristics being assigned a gender role, can mimic being trans and having sex dysphoria. The important distinction is that sex dysphoria has to do with SEX. So your physical body, anatomy, physiology, being seen and treated as the sex you want to transition to, etc. Gender roles have to do with behavior, perceptions, roles, presentation, etc. 

Pretty much all of these examples can be caused by other things as well, so if you relate to a thing or two on this list it doesn’t necessarily mean dysphoria. If you relate to a lot of things on this list, I’d start questioning things though.

I hope this can help clear up what dysphoria really is so we can finally help questioning people better,