sweetandsavageautistic:

fierce-cookie:

Things I’ve learned from manipulative friendships and relationships

-If you are constantly anxious around someone and you don’t have great “intuition” then that is your body’s way of telling you to run

-If someone makes you feel depressed and low in self confidence all the time that is another indicator that the person is toxic

-If the person is clingly to an uncomfortable degree or you have a hard time making or seeing other friends, there is something wrong

-If little things you say recieve an extreme emotional reaction yet the person persists to say things that disrespect you, that is not okay

-If you are pressured into anything you do not want to do, this is not okay

-If they are aware you are uncomfortable and it is causing problems even if you “intend to do what they want you to” and they still pressure you or get angry with you for uncertainty, this is not okay. You can also say no if you aren’t willing or ready to do something. If they have a problem with that then they are the problem

-If they get angry at you for your anxiety that is not okay

-If they drop petty comments about you in front of everyone and seem to hold grudges, that is not okay

-If they pride themselves in being narcissistic, manipulative, jealous, etc. that is not okay

-If they verbally put you down all the time, call you names, or constantly point out what’s wrong with you, that is not healthy

-If they are bossy and controlling to you alone and/ or around others or they are condescending towards you this is not okay

-If they turn each situation around to spotlight them when you are discussing an issue you experience, that is selfish and manipulative behavior

-If you constantly fight with the person that is not healthy

-If they twist your words and lie about you they are not just forgetful, they are manipulative

-If you feel like you are not yourself anymore or that you have no freedom to be yourself this is not okay

-If you comprise your beliefs/ morals for them that is a sign they are not worth your time

-If they devalue your problems and always act as though theirs are more important this is manipulative, controlling behavior

I’ve had a hard time detecting signs of unhealthy, manipulative relationships and friendships throughout my life. These are things I have learned from personal experience with multiple manipulative friendships/relationships and I’m making this list in order to teach myself to recognize the signs. I’m also writing this because I hope it helps others to learn them.

Again this is all personal experience, please correct me if you feel they are inaccurate, and please keep adding more signs if you have also experienced this or have seen someone deal with it.

I can speak from experience that a lot of this seems accurate.

Also:

-I had a friend who accused me of asking her to sugarcoat things for me (same “friend” from high school). I don’t remember such a thing. If you’re certain that you never said or did something, even if that person claims you did, trust your instinct.

-One of my roommates reminds me of aforementioned “friend.” If someone’s behavior or attitude towards you makes you think of someone who manipulated/emotionally abused you in the past, that’s not a good sign.