“Aw man I wish you could like go on ~platonic dates~ with friends and like sleep in the same bed as your friend and cudddle with your friends and have someone that you don’t just hang out in groups with but like, have long deep conversations and share secrets”
I don’t know what the fuck happened to you guys younger than me in your formative years but literally everyyyything you’re describing is something that was included in the concept of ‘best friends’ as it was repeatedly presented to me as a child and teen.
SOmething happened along the way that got so many people thinking that ‘friend’ is ‘anyone and everyone you repeatedly have ‘friendly’ contact with’ and that’s NOT TRUE.
We need to seriously bring back the word ‘acquaintance’. You need to familiarize yourself with it.
Because all of you complaining about having friend groups full of people who talk shit about you or exclude you? You don’t have friends, those are acquaintances.
Those ‘friends’ who don’t actually know much about you and aren’t that concerned about you? Acquaintances.
Those ‘friends’ you know who wouldn’t go one on one with you shopping, to lunch, to the movies? Acquaintances.
You are acquainted. You know each other. You are friendly towards each other. But that’s it. You’re not friends.
Somewhere along the way the term ‘friend’ became ‘anyone you know and talk to in a positive manner’ and that’s fine but in that case we ALSO need to re-legitimize the term best friend.
Because to a one, every post whining about ‘platonic mates’ and pining for ‘platonic dates’ is literally just someone wishing they had a best friend.
All of them.
Addition: You can be friendly to someone without being friends. Everyone who is friendly to you isn’t necessarily your friend.
And that’s okay. Having people in your life that are not and never will be your friends is normal and good.
It helps you see and thus value who your friends actually are. They’re special people for a reason.
Tag: friends
anyway you should cherish ur weird friends
treasure that friend who’ll yell nonsense sounds at you until you’re both gibbering back and forth like ancient humanity at the tower of babel. love the friend u can make eye contact with before saying some absolute jackshit inside joke you share at the same time and collapsing in entirely unnecessary fits of laughter. acknowledge how lucky you are to have someone you can text at 3am in the morning when you’re on a tangent of a tangent on your bullshit and NEED to blabber incoherently about it to someone or you’ll explode. don’t take for granted the people you know you can talk to about literally anything without fear of judgement or disinterest. because people like that? they’re few and far between.
people need to understand that some people just don’t like talking it has nothing to do with u so don’t take it personally like some people just aren’t talkers and they’ll probably never text u first or initiate a conversation and it’s not because they don’t like u it’s just that they don’t think to say anything bc they’re comfortable with not saying anything
Listen being quiet is all well and good but literally don’t leave all of the relationship maintenance to else. As a person who had to deal with that, that shit is exhausting. If you’re asking them to meet you halfway and understand you, you better put in some effort too like this is some cop out type shit right here.
As person who used to commit to this kind of inaction it just makes people feel bad. Like you don’t want to be around them. Not initiating all the time is fine but if you NEVER initiate that leaves the signal you obviously don’t value this friendship and people leave and you can’t blame them. If you’re wondering why your friends are frustrated or stop talking to you because of your lack of response don’t think it’s them, in this case homie.
This logic would literally never apply in any other relationship whether its business, professional and romantic so I’m not sure why you and all these other people agreeing think it applies to friendship
people need to understand that some people just don’t like talking it has nothing to do with u so don’t take it personally like some people just aren’t talkers and they’ll probably never text u first or initiate a conversation and it’s not because they don’t like u it’s just that they don’t think to say anything bc they’re comfortable with not saying anything
Listen being quiet is all well and good but literally don’t leave all of the relationship maintenance to else. As a person who had to deal with that, that shit is exhausting. If you’re asking them to meet you halfway and understand you, you better put in some effort too like this is some cop out type shit right here.
As person who used to commit to this kind of inaction it just makes people feel bad. Like you don’t want to be around them. Not initiating all the time is fine but if you NEVER initiate that leaves the signal you obviously don’t value this friendship and people leave and you can’t blame them. If you’re wondering why your friends are frustrated or stop talking to you because of your lack of response don’t think it’s them, in this case homie.
This logic would literally never apply in any other relationship whether its business, professional and romantic so I’m not sure why you and all these other people agreeing think it applies to friendship
I think a fundamental part of online friendships that people ‘outside’ fail to understand is how comforting it is to have friends right there in your pocket who will keep you company in good times and bad, listen to your rants, let you vent, be supportive whilst offering outsider perspective…
- Need to be alone but need support too? Pocket friends.
- Something awful just happened and there’s nobody around for you to tell? Pocket friends.
- Need to let your feelings out but don’t want people to see you ugly-cry? Pocket friends.
Keep being amazing, pocket friends. You couldn’t possibly imagine how important you are.
I love my pocket friends
I think a fundamental part of online friendships that people ‘outside’ fail to understand is how comforting it is to have friends right there in your pocket who will keep you company in good times and bad, listen to your rants, let you vent, be supportive whilst offering outsider perspective…
- Need to be alone but need support too? Pocket friends.
- Something awful just happened and there’s nobody around for you to tell? Pocket friends.
- Need to let your feelings out but don’t want people to see you ugly-cry? Pocket friends.
Keep being amazing, pocket friends. You couldn’t possibly imagine how important you are.
I love my pocket friends
why does no one talk about how friends can break your heart so devastatingly intimately sometimes a million times worse than romantic partners why does no one talk about friend break ups
I made this for myself cos it’s an OCD irrational fear of mine and I wanna share it for if anyone else struggles with it
by: @overlord-of-anxiety
toxic friendship can be just as traumatic as toxic romantic and/or sexual relationships. your trauma is not lesser because you were “just friends” with someone who hurt you.
you deserve to have friends who love you, support you, and treat you like the wonderful creation that you are.
ifesbob 