I’m not saying mental illness can’t make socializing a struggle but guess what? If you keep waiting for your friends to come to you, then your friends will end up feeling neglected and eventually they’ll move on to people who can meet their efforts halfway – and they’re not in the wrong for doing so. So you gotta fight the instinct to self-isolate no matter how insecure you are feeling. Your friends likely need reassurance sometimes too.
I have been thinking of the ways we tell people things. My father’s hands shake, but he holds the phone up so I can watch the video from six feet away. My mother emails me the recipe of her beef stroganoff at 6 in the morning with the comment – woke up and didn’t want to forget to do this! On the highway, we sing so loudly my voice grows hoarse; on the beach I sneak nice rocks into people’s hands so they have something to hold, on the floor we all sit quietly in the same agreeable silence. We are all saying the same thing.
My friends say “Oh you know, keeping busy.” This means they are having a hard time but making themselves survive it. I ask them to help me walk me dog; this is me telling them it’s okay sometimes to just be present and talk about young adult fiction. When I cancel again because I can’t get out of bed, she tells me she’s on her way with cookies.
I point out the sunset. She shares her fork before I ask for it. He calls me at 1 AM just because I’m on the road alone, we talk about stupid shit. She waits for me to get indoors safely before driving away. He says – nah, forget it, I’m happy to do it for free.
People are saying it, you know? They say it often and loudly. Sometimes, you know – you just have to be listening.
thinking about how good friendship is…..like two people just like each other….and choose over and over to spend time with each other……quite special how diverse human relationships are..every friendship is special and u cant be close friends with everybody…..for some unknown reason certain people just enjoy each other..and i think we take for granted how fantastic that is
C S Lewis talks about how friendship is actually perhaps the greatest form of human love because it’s two people choosing to spend time together not because they have to or have any specific physical draw to each other, but purely because they just enjoy each other’s company and this is it.
You’re not obligated to stay friends with people who make you feel bad about yourself, no matter how long you’ve had that friendship. Your well-being should be your priority!
there are some internet friends where eventually you start calling them by their real name and then there’s times where its like nah son your name is crispy forever
ifesbob 