In related news, STOP DOING GENDER REVEAL PARTIES.
Let the kids reveal their gender TO YOU when they’re ready, not the other way around.
I think it’s time we place bets on how long it’ll be before gender reveal parties are banned by law
For reference, 80 pounds of tannerite has pretty much the same explosive power as three Hellfire missiles. It couldn’t just destroy a tank; it could destroy a building or a whole convoy. They essentially blew up THREE OF THESE (!!!) in order to tell their neighbors that their baby had a dick
I’m gonna say it
The drinking age should be 18 or 19 in the US
Do I have any objective reasons for this? Of course not, I just think it’s annoying that I can’t technically consume An Alcohol in the US when I’ve spent considerable time in countries where I can
I don’t even like alcohol that much. It’s just the limitation that bothers me.
When I say “writers don’t want your unsolicited criticism” and “leaving unsolicited criticism on fanfiction hurts writers” THIS is what I mean.
This isn’t even all of them, this is just from a FEW posts on the subject. Read through these, and then look me in the eyes and say you’re ~helping writers~ by leaving that criticizing comment on someone’s fic when they didn’t ask you to.
You’re hurting or, at best, annoying us. You’re hurting fandom.
You’re not helping us.
Here is what good criticism looks like:
1) Start with something you loved!
You can even stop here, because positive feedback is still constructive criticism.
2) Ask questions that you wish the Author had asked themself
Was there anything that you wish had been explained or developed more? What direction do you wish the Author had taken? Let the author know if there were any places you got confused.
3) Ask the author if they had any specific concerns, then address them.
Maybe the Author stressed over a certain paragraph being too boring. Either offer suggestions, or put their fears to rest.
4) End with something else you liked!
If you are reviewing a hard copy of someone’s work, put lil hearts by the phrases that made you smile!
-Don’t correct spelling or grammar unless you are not able to understand a sentence/paragraph/the whole story because of it. Grammar and spelling will improve naturally as a reader/writer matures, and that is not your job. You are not the grammar police. Anyone who self-proclaims themselves as one needs to grow uo.
-Don’t say anything about who the author is as a person. Feedback should just be a product of the interaction between reader+work.
My life as a writer began when an English teacher decided to take my sappy teenage work seriously. Writing is a journey of constant improvement. The best feedback you can give is: “I’m proud of you.”
You’re obviously jumping into an argument with no idea of the history of it , but this is the exact behavior I’m talking about that’s damaging.
Fandom isn’t a writing class. We are not in English 101 with you. You’re not our teacher, and we’re not students that you need to correct by giving us unsolicited criticism. You’re not even my beta reader. You’re Joe Schmoe on the internet and we don’t want your unsolicited criticism on how to improve.
Listen, I know you mean well, but please take a moment and look at what you just did. You looked at a hundred comments from a hundred people saying “please stop doing this behavior, it’s hurting us” and said “okay, but here’s how to do this behavior anyway.”
No! The point is stop doing it. YOU are the one hurting us.
“My life as a writer began when an English teacher decided to take my sappy teenage work seriously. Writing is a journey of constant improvement.“
I mean, listen.
I started writing fanfiction at eleven–and you can imagine how terrible that was–which my dad found and read.
Despite the fact that it was terrible, thinly veiled Mary Sue self-insert, my dad took it seriously. He told me that it was amazing and imaginative and he never would’ve thought to do the thing I did in that one story, etc, etc.
It was terrible writing, but he only ever encouraged me to write more. He only ever gave me compliments.
You’re right, writing is a journey of constant improvement, but nowhere is it written that that journey must be made on a road where random passersby throw rotten fruit at you under the guise of helping you.
I am the writer I am today not because my dad criticized my work or because of snotty, holier-than-thou comments on the internet. I’m the writer I am today because I’ve been practicing for over fifteen years.
Year after year, fic after fic, fandom after fandom, I have gotten consistently better at crafting stories and it’s not because of so-called “constructive criticisms” on fanfiction that I’m already done writing.
It’s because I got encouragement when I needed it and silence when I needed that.
I’m not saying that everyone’s story is mine or that people even grow the way I do and I’m not saying that criticism is never warranted.
I’m saying that constructive criticism is a beta’s job and that it useless after the fact, which is when the author gets your comment–after the story is posted, after it is done being written–and that are there enough writers out there that DO learn and grow just by practicing that perhaps you should be mindful of what you comment on a fic.
That is literally the entire argument.
How many screenshots of messages and tags have to be posted before people get that they’re hurting writers instead of helping them?
“You’re ruining my fun thing by turning it into homework” is my favorite screenshot from this post.
@ao3commentoftheday I recall a huge discussion on your blog about this sort of thing, and thought might be a addition to offer the masses on the subject of unsolicited criticism and why fandom etiquette is not to give it.
that uniquely american cultural drive to preserve the corpse after death…. utterly horrid I tell you
not to go all Anti Capitalist here but like. making people feel like they’ve ‘failed’ their dead loved ones if they don’t put their chemically preserved corpses in a multi-thousand dollar hermetically sealed vault is absolutely fucking ghoulish the whole industry is built around taking advantage of grieving families. like it’s such a morbid topic but for real normalize decay… normalize the idea that a corpse, while an incredibly important thing, is temporary and isn’t meant to exist forever… normalize the transience of the body… also fuck every person who’s ever tried to wring money out of a grieving person by convincing them to by a fucking. waterproof burial vault. man
When we’re dead we’re supposed to become nourishment for fungi, bacteria and tens of thousands of insects and whether something catches and eats them or they live their own full lives and die, that’s how everything that built our bodies gets to go back to being built into new bodies for new things. The amount of nutrients sequestered away right now as embalmed bodies is probably tremendous and not good.
please also remember that this is specifically an American Christian thing. Most other religions have pretty set standards of not embalming, and strongly discourage elaborate burials.
Hi. Hello. Friend. Are you listening to me? Look me in the eyes (metaphorically). Pay attention. Ok? Ok.
Sex should not fucking hurt
Never. Under any circumstances. Not your first time, not your hundredth time. It should not hurt.
(Unless you’re into that, obviously. In which case it should hurt only in specific, well-controlled, and pre-negotiated ways.)
If someone tells you that having sex will hurt or should hurt, they can go fuck themselves. They are making excuses.
If something hurts, stop. Tell your partner to stop. Add more lube. Try more foreplay. Change positions. Do something different. You deserve better than lying there being in pain because you think there’s nothing you can do about it.
Sometimes, people have medical conditions that cause sex to be painful. That’s no one’s fault. If sex is consistently uncomfortable for you, talk to your doctor. You deserve better than tolerating persistent discomfort because your body isn’t cooperating with you.
Sometimes, people have anxiety or trauma which causes their bodies to tense, thereby making sex painful and difficult. That’s no one’s fault (or, in the case of trauma, it’s the fault of whoever inflicted that trauma). If sex is anxiety-inducing for you, see a therapist. You deserve better than anxiety that makes sex painful when it should be pleasurable.
Sometimes, people’s partners are careless or thoughtless or malicious, and don’t pay attention when their partner is in pain. That’s the fault of the person ignoring their partner’s needs. If your partner won’t stop when you’re in pain, stop having sex with that person. You deserve a partner who values you and is attentive to your needs.
I’ve gotten this question before, and I’m sure I’ll get it again. So I want this on the record:
You should not be thinking about how to minimize the pain you experience during sex. You deserve sex that does not hurt. Got it?
Hop caught a legendary in a pokeball, he’s a true legend among mere mortals
“wouldn’t you rather earn something than have it just handed to you?”
Yeah when it comes to actual awards and fancy goods, but when it comes to basic needs, basic human decency, and accomodations, those things should always be handed to people. No one should have to “earn” those things.Value people as people, not base it on how much they produce.
yeah but that creates a severe dependency that could be exploited easily, and creates a slippery slope @musical-clarity
Actually studies show that people who live in places with universal income (who are given money with no strings attached just for being citizens) do far better work than those who don’t and are more enthusiastic to do work.
This is because they still want nice things and will work for those but the part of their energy that was devoted to worrying about if they have enough money to pay the rent and bills this month is now freed up to do other things.
Some people will always be lazy and take advantage of the system, but they are always a tiny percentage and it seems ridiculous to me to punish the majority and severly hamstring their abilities just because a handful of people will simply live of basic income rather than work.
It’s been tested a couple times. In Canada, in some European countries, and the results are always the same.
There are two groups of people who show a statistically significant (Greater than one half of one percent, or 1 in 200) increase in Not Working and living off the guaranteed income. Parents of Children under school age, and full time students.
Among ALL other groups, employment actually INCREASED. Why? Because guaranteed minimum income means that homeless people can get at least a basic low end apartment. It’s hard if not impossible to get an above board job without a permanent fixed address. Also more people were able to have and maintain a BANK ACCOUNT. It is often hard to get a decent job without an account that can accept Direct Deposit for paychecks.
Also, lost work time due to illness and injury decreased across the board. It turns out if people are getting a decent amount of money each month they can A> afford to eat better, and B> obtain decent medical attention both preventative and emergency. Crazy right?
So why hasn’t it caught on?
Because it doesn’t directly benefit the people in power, and it increases THEIR PERSONAL taxes, their CORPORATE TAXES, and thus decreases their PERSONAL INCOME.
So, because Jeff Bezos and Alan Greenspan might fall from making 100 billion dollars a year to making 99.8 billion dollars a year, it’s a hard NO and we can all fucking die..
ifesbob 