Tag: bpd

haun:

real controversial opinion here but speaking as someone who has struggled with bpd (and other mental illnesses) for years and who recently got a prof dx, i think Mental I’llness Tumblr needs to stop with the concept of a “favorite person”

to begin with, it’s not a clinical term – someone, idk who, made it up over a year ago. i think the community coming up with terms to describe your experiences is great! in theory. because i’ve watched as the concept of “fps” gained traction and i have seen nothing good come out of it.

you guys need to stop encouraging unhealthy dependency and using your MI as an excuse to control people. by creating a term that has become almost another kind of relationship status you encourage people to hold their “fps” to incredibly high standards and then become incredibly disappointed and possibly self destructive when that “fp” doesn’t meet them. it’s unfair to the “fp” too, especially since they are often mentally ill too!

i almost always see this label being applied without the consent of the “fp.” if they’ve agreed to it and are willing to provide that kind of support then it’s fine, i don’t care. but often it’s not consensual and all i see is people vaguing their “fp” and saying they want to kill them for daring to have their own life or w/e. why do you guys think that is okay? why do you think it is okay to objectify someone like that and guilt trip them?

and this is just another way tumblr has become anti-recovery. it scares me so much that 13, 14, 15 yr olds are being exposed to this and think its fine. there’s nothing wrong with having symptoms, or being dependent, but i’ve seen the concept of an fp hurt SO many people on both sides of the relationship and it quite honestly results in abuse a lot of the time

before i get called ableist: yes, i do know what dependency is like. i have REALLY horrible issues with it and have for a long time. but i also know i can’t use my symptoms as an excuse to hurt others. i can’t expect others to take care of me all the time. in the end, nobody is responsible for me and my mess except for myself

Borderline Personality Disorder

therapy101:

Overview of Diagnostic Criteria

All personality disorders have these criteria:

  1. An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that is significantly different compared to the culture of that person. This includes at least two areas, including cognition, emotional response, interpersonal functioning, and impulse control.
  2. This pattern shows up across many types of social and personal situations and does not change easily. 
  3. This pattern leads to significant distress or functional impairment.

In addition, BPD has these criteria (at least 5 must apply):

  1.  Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
  2.  A pattern of intense and unstable relationships where the person rapidly changes between overwhelmingly positive response and overwhelmingly negative response to the other person.
  3. Significantly unstable self-image, including lack of sense of self.
  4. Harmful impulsivity in at least 2 areas (for example, reckless spending, driving, substance use, sexual activity).
  5. Chronic suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-harm.
  6. High emotional responsivity and difficulty managing emotions. 
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  8. Difficulty controlling anger, and/or intense and inappropriate anger.
  9. Short lived feelings of paranoia and/or dissociation due to stress.

Prevalence of BPD
It’s unclear exactly how many people have BPD. Typical estimates are about 1.6% of the population, but other studies have reported up to 5.9%. People receiving mental health care, especially inpatient care, are more likely to have BPD, while older adults are less likely to have BPD.

Treatment of BPD
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy was created to help manage chronic suicidality, and is now the gold standard treatment for BPD. People with BPD may also benefit from mindfulness-based therapies, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and evidence-based therapies for trauma. There is no gold standard medication for BPD, but some people benefit from anti-depressants and/or mood stabilizers.

Myths & Misunderstandings

1. People with BPD are “attention seeking,” “manipulative,” and “faking” their symptoms

First of all let me just say that I hate that term, “attention-seeking.” Everyone seeks attention constantly- we are social animals and it is beneficial to have interpersonal contact.

In any case, people with BPD are not more “attention seeking” than others- they just have difficulty “attention seeking” appropriately. They are also not manipulative, or lying about symptoms or their experience (at least, not as a group)- again, they just don’t have the same skills as most people do to communication effectively. So when they need to tell someone they are really upset, they tend to do it in ways that feel incongruent or inappropriate to others, but make complete sense to them.

2. BPD is defined by being “hot and cold” interpersonally

While having unstable relationships is a big part of BPD, it’s not the only piece. The key components of BPD are unstable relationships, unstable or nonexistent sense of self, and emotion dysregulation. I think the sense of self bit is often ignored. One of the reasons why people with BPD often have unstable relationships is because they are trying to identify a sense of self via connection to someone else, but that strategy is often ineffective.

3. Only women have BPD

About three times as many women versus men have BPD, but there are a lot of men with BPD, and symptoms are similar between men and women. This misconception is due to gender bias. Men and women who meet criteria for BPD and Cluster B disorders in general are perceived differently by clinicians and other people. Men are usually perceived as aggressive, dangerous, and lacking in empathy, and so are usually diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Women are usually perceived as emotional, neurotic, and dramatic, and so are usually diagnosed with BPD or Histrionic Personality Disorder.

4. BPD is always caused by childhood sexual abuse

Many people with BPD experience CSA, but not all. BPD is theorized to be caused by chronic instability, fear, and isolation due to neglect, loss, chaos, and/or abuse during childhood and early adolescence.

5. People with BPD can’t be helped

DBT and other therapies are highly effective for BPD. People with BPD who receive good treatment do sometimes become “cured,” or stop meeting criteria for BPD. Although this doesn’t happen for everyone, people with BPD can make huge improvements that improve their quality of life whether or not they are “cured.”

6. People with BPD are terrible to work with clinically

People with BPD can be tough to work with- they are often high risk, for example –but perceptions that people with BPD are terrible to work with is usually due to stigma about BPD rather than based in any reality. Staff working in mental health treatment programs often confuse BPD with “hard to work with,” and so label anyone (especially women) they find tough or unpleasant to work with as BPD whether or not they actually have any BPD symptoms.

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

Interesting how when I was reading a lot of crap about ADHD I learned that you can’t have it without hyper focus but here we are some blog is denying that

What is hyper focus? I don’t know a lot about ADHD.

I probably shouldn’t answer that

That and I sort of have the type of understanding of it where I can’t really describe it

But from what I gather it’s Extra Focus basically. Intense focus. Focus++.

Oh oh oh, I think my Theatre teacher was talking about something like that. Like when he’s directing. He has ADHD so that makes sense.

I’ll look it up sometime though, or grab a book about it.

Yeah. It would make sense because it’s an ADHD term.

There’s a lot of stuff on the internet about it

In response to your tags, cuz I was thinking about it:

Hyper focus is a term used by people with ADHD to describe a symptom they experience, but outside of people with ADHD I’ve seen it used as just meaning really focused. I don’t see why anyone can’t say something like that. It’s not the same as someone saying “I’m so OCD” when they mean organized, because that creates a stereotype about a disorder.

It’s kind like the term “special interest” for people with autism and the term “favourite person” for people with BPD. Not many people say special interest unless they have autism, but a lot of people without BPD say favourite person. I don’t really see a problem with it, y’know. So just thinking of those comparisons… doesn’t seem like a problem, right?

I know, I’ve just never seen if referred to outside of people who have ADHD, and usually people just say they were extremely focused. I think it’s a frequency thing though, I don’t think it’s a disorder specific thing. Like hallucinations or something.

I’ve actually heard that autistic people and people with BPD consider those words for people within their disorder.

I mean people do say favorite people outside of BPD, but Favorite Person in the BPD sense is only for BPD.

Yeah, BPD favourite person is different than what most people would call a favourite person. I personally wouldn’t use special interest to describe any of my interests, and it seems like an odd thing for someone without autism to say.

What do you mean by frequency though? And not a disorder specific thing. Like, other people without the disorder or as part of a different disorder can experience the same kind of being hyper focused?

Yeah, I agree with that.

There are a lot of disorders with symptoms that seem like everyday things until you apply the impairment and frequency criteria.

For example, I have experienced every ADHD symptom at some point in my life.. However, because it’s not frequent and doesn’t reach the impairment criteria, I don’t have ADHD. I can say the same thing for Autism, and a fair number of other disorders.

It’s like when people dismiss someone talking about a disorder by saying it happens to everyone. Yeah, everyone feels sad sometimes, but not to the intensity of people who have depression.

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

tybalt-you-saucy-boi:

iicraft505:

Interesting how when I was reading a lot of crap about ADHD I learned that you can’t have it without hyper focus but here we are some blog is denying that

What is hyper focus? I don’t know a lot about ADHD.

I probably shouldn’t answer that

That and I sort of have the type of understanding of it where I can’t really describe it

But from what I gather it’s Extra Focus basically. Intense focus. Focus++.

Oh oh oh, I think my Theatre teacher was talking about something like that. Like when he’s directing. He has ADHD so that makes sense.

I’ll look it up sometime though, or grab a book about it.

Yeah. It would make sense because it’s an ADHD term.

There’s a lot of stuff on the internet about it

In response to your tags, cuz I was thinking about it:

Hyper focus is a term used by people with ADHD to describe a symptom they experience, but outside of people with ADHD I’ve seen it used as just meaning really focused. I don’t see why anyone can’t say something like that. It’s not the same as someone saying “I’m so OCD” when they mean organized, because that creates a stereotype about a disorder.

It’s kind like the term “special interest” for people with autism and the term “favourite person” for people with BPD. Not many people say special interest unless they have autism, but a lot of people without BPD say favourite person. I don’t really see a problem with it, y’know. So just thinking of those comparisons… doesn’t seem like a problem, right?

I know, I’ve just never seen if referred to outside of people who have ADHD, and usually people just say they were extremely focused. I think it’s a frequency thing though, I don’t think it’s a disorder specific thing. Like hallucinations or something.

I’ve actually heard that autistic people and people with BPD consider those words for people within their disorder.

I mean people do say favorite people outside of BPD, but Favorite Person in the BPD sense is only for BPD.

PSA on BPD

darmani:

When you google borderline personalty disorder, nothing is about helping us. Everything is “How to cope when someone you love has BPD.” “stop walking on eggshells” “taking your life back when someone you know has BPD.”. This is messed up. Instead of demonizing us and “protecting others from us” why don’t you HELP us? We are SUFFERING and you choose to “save” everyone from us? We need love and support, and I don’t see that happening. Help us cope. Help us become better than we already are. Help us feel less alone. We feel extreme guilt just by being us, and telling everyone to steer clear of us isn’t helping in any way. We are not monsters. You don’t need to protect people from us. We are worthy of love and we don’t deserve this. 

Neurotypical Things

cerebellumpunk:

So I was chatting with this guy and decided to be open about my disorder; I did not tell him what it was and just told him a couple of symptoms and showed him the diagnostic criteria with the name cut off. 

He asked me a bunch of informative questions, which I thought was cool since he was willing to learn and then he looked at me and said: 

“Haha, I’m glad I didn’t fall in love with you.” 

And legit I froze??? I usually never stand up for myself because I’m terrified of rejection but I had completely gotten too angry at that statement. I told him it was insulting to say that and he should apologise but I also figured that was too good for him so I decided to frame it in a way he’d understand 

Because with neurotypicals everything has to be framed in a way they can’t just accept the shit they say is unacceptable.

People with borderline personality disorder often want to be loved by someone and want to be in relationships, whether it’s platonically or romantically. Of course keep in mind, not all but some do like every person wants/
And honestly I see my community being one of the most scared when it comes to addressing their feelings and keeping things in check, sometimes it literally feels like we’re in water and trying to gather floating seashells together in a tightly knit bag – sometimes we succeed and sometimes the bag breaks.

And the majority, but not all, of people suffering from a PD often come from abusive homes or abusive relationships, or some other form of trauma that left them craving affection and attention. and the reason we can’t control our emotions is because we were brought up in environments that wouldn’t let us express anything other than fear or complete numbness. 

And you tell them to their face that you’re so glad you never fell in love with us, that you’re so happy you dodged that bullet, that you’ve never given a single fucking thought about giving us affection and you assume that this is a laughable statement. 

And then when I frame it like this; you’re offended because it makes you look like an asshole? Like do neurotypical not have any decency to think ‘hey this statement is kinda fucked up to say to a person who clearly shared something intimate with me’ – like even if you didn’t know the person has a PD or is completely fine – who the fuck gives you the right to say that to someone???? 

Do ya’ll have no critical thinking skills to even consider the fact that such a statement may cause someone who has issues with relationships to feel like an unwanted piece of shit??? 

this has been a rant @bpdrotten @accidentaloverload @softgrunge-silverheels this is the bullshit i dealt with today

djenterrific:

Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t being cute and ‘clingy’ and ‘adorably needy’. Being with (romantic or otherwise) someone with BPD isn’t akin to taking care of a pet. BPD isn’t an ‘aw it’s so endearing that they need me so badly’ type of thing. 

BPD is a mental illness that is a conglomeration of several different tendencies and it’s not easy to diagnose. You don’t just decide you have it, just like you don’t decide you’re depressed because you had a bad  day, or you don’t decide you’re bipolar because your mood changes quickly sometimes. Believe  me, you don’t want it.

BPD is turning nothing into everything, is knowing you’re being irrational and not being able to stop regardless, is suppressing breakdowns for fear of being abusive or of manipulating the person you’re talking to into having to take care of you when they really don’t want to.

It’s thinking someone doesn’t care about you anymore because they made a new friend. It’s automatically registering new people as a threat. It’s a fear of abandonment and rejection that’s damn near omnipresent. It’s being able to shift from ‘I love you so much!’ to ‘I don’t give a fuck, I hate you, I don’t even want to talk to you’ and back at the drop of a hat.

It’s finding identity in a drastic hair change, and then feeling unsafe and desperately trying to fix it before you have to go out. It’s seeing someone you adore and trying to emulate them because you have no idea who you are. It’s waking up and trying to be a new person every day. Go vegan, go goth, go hipster, go glamour, cut your hair, change your makeup, gain weight, lose weight, and never feel quite there. Ever.

It’s comprehending ‘love’ as ‘pity’ and wanting to rip yourself apart if their tone is all too casual when your friend or love interest is returning compliments or affection. It’s regretting saying anything about your mood and desperately trying to turn the conversation around while simultaneously NEEDING to get it out. It’s wanting to bleed yourself dry as opposed to cry in someone’s arms because, at least then, they don’t have to clean your wounds for you. They won’t hate you. They won’t be annoyed. 

It’s the constant battle, every time you get upset, of, “Is this worth being sad about? Is it worth talking about? What is more abusive, talking about this or hiding it? If I tell them I’ll bring them down and I’ll guilt trip them and they will resent me and it will all be my fault. If I don’t, I’m a disgusting liar, I’m manipulative, I’m untrustworthy.”

It’s wondering if you’re faking your symptoms. It’s disassociating and feeling like a ghost for days. It’s feeling like you aren’t real, and then wishing you weren’t. It’s fear, a lack of self, and about a million different thoughts running through your head at all times. It’s trying to live for the people you love as opposed to yourself. It’s feeling suicidal and then feeling bad for feeling suicidal because, whoops, you’re being manipulative. 

slightly-skeletal:

djenterrific:

Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t being cute and ‘clingy’ and ‘adorably needy’. Being with (romantic or otherwise) someone with BPD isn’t akin to taking care of a pet. BPD isn’t an ‘aw it’s so endearing that they need me so badly’ type of thing. 

BPD is a mental illness that is a conglomeration of several different tendencies and it’s not easy to diagnose. You don’t just decide you have it, just like you don’t decide you’re depressed because you had a bad  day, or you don’t decide you’re bipolar because your mood changes quickly sometimes. Believe  me, you don’t want it.

BPD is turning nothing into everything, is knowing you’re being irrational and not being able to stop regardless, is suppressing breakdowns for fear of being abusive or of manipulating the person you’re talking to into having to take care of you when they really don’t want to.

It’s thinking someone doesn’t care about you anymore because they made a new friend. It’s automatically registering new people as a threat. It’s a fear of abandonment and rejection that’s damn near omnipresent. It’s being able to shift from ‘I love you so much!’ to ‘I don’t give a fuck, I hate you, I don’t even want to talk to you’ and back at the drop of a hat.

It’s finding identity in a drastic hair change, and then feeling unsafe and desperately trying to fix it before you have to go out. It’s seeing someone you adore and trying to emulate them because you have no idea who you are. It’s waking up and trying to be a new person every day. Go vegan, go goth, go hipster, go glamour, cut your hair, change your makeup, gain weight, lose weight, and never feel quite there. Ever.

It’s comprehending ‘love’ as ‘pity’ and wanting to rip yourself apart if their tone is all too casual when your friend or love interest is returning compliments or affection. It’s regretting saying anything about your mood and desperately trying to turn the conversation around while simultaneously NEEDING to get it out. It’s wanting to bleed yourself dry as opposed to cry in someone’s arms because, at least then, they don’t have to clean your wounds for you. They won’t hate you. They won’t be annoyed. 

It’s the constant battle, every time you get upset, of, “Is this worth being sad about? Is it worth talking about? What is more abusive, talking about this or hiding it? If I tell them I’ll bring them down and I’ll guilt trip them and they will resent me and it will all be my fault. If I don’t, I’m a disgusting liar, I’m manipulative, I’m untrustworthy.”

It’s wondering if you’re faking your symptoms. It’s disassociating and feeling like a ghost for days. It’s feeling like you aren’t real, and then wishing you weren’t. It’s fear, a lack of self, and about a million different thoughts running through your head at all times. It’s trying to live for the people you love as opposed to yourself. It’s feeling suicidal and then feeling bad for feeling suicidal because, whoops, you’re being manipulative. 

For everyone on Tumblr self diagnosing.