ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.
black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.
bruce: how’d you get your scar?
zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.
bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.
Zuko: Do you mind if I wear this blue demon mask?
Bruce: *sniff, tear in his eye* Not at all.
*Zuko fighting the Joker*
J: “wan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar s”
Z: *rips off mask* i don’t give a fuck
I’m still stuck at the “batman has adoption papers in his utility belt”.
“Quick, it’s time to use the Bat-adoption papers!”
Bat-option papers
Okay, but you’re missing the best part of this.
Alfred and Iroh complimenting each other on tea while they discuss their overly dramatic children.
iroh: once, i told zuko that he needs to work on his inter turmoil. he screamed at me that he had no such inner turmoil, and then proceeded to go to a cliff during a thunderstorm to scream at God to strike him with lightning
alfred: master bruce and i have that interaction at least three times per week.
@absentlyabbie
I see your “Alfred and Iroh as tea bros” and raise you “Alfred and Iroh as tea rivals”
Consider
Iroh: you too must learn patience. Boiling the water ruins the delicate flavor of the white jade
Alfred: oh I’m dreadfully sorry – for some reason I expected this tea to have TEA in it
(later)
Alfred: *aggressively laying out full tea service with milk, lemon, sugar, and, just to drive his point in, jam*
Iroh: *dying inside*
excellent addition
hey bruce spent a lot of his bat-study abroad in the far east and has kind of a weeb weapon collection so proposal, what if Bruce appreciates Iroh’s tea
while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar
further fueling their dad-figures’ passive-aggressive rivalry?
You had me at Zuko vs. Joker, I was crying by the Eastern vs. Western tea service
Wait a minute. Batman and Zuko have the same arch-nemesis.
Mark Hamill
Saw the last comment and my brain would not rest until it happened
I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
What if Batman was like “Joker you’re arrested for not respecting the Clown Code” and The Joker was like “Oh Batman how do you know about the Clown Code” and Batman said “Well that’s easy” and revealed he has a clown license. Batman has a lot of secret abilities, why can’t he be a professional clown too.
ifesbob 