Meaning of the letter “A” when appearing in LGBT[…]+ acronyms:
Asexual: 95.4% of respondents, 1936 total
Aromantic: 80.7% of respondents, 1639 total
Agender: 66.7% of respondents, 1353 total
Ally: 13.9% of respondents, 282 total.
I’m just posting this here for my aces and aros who are feeling down on themselves and defeated tonight. Remember that nine out of ten people support you and that the current loudest voices are not those of the majority.
If you don’t believe being asexual has any negative affect on people I was told by a psychiatrist that none of my relationships count because we didn’t have sex, and
I can’t say I’m gay since I don’t want to have sex with girls.
and I was taken off my antidepressants because they may be lowering the libido I never had in the first place (plus various other reasons, but still immediately, cold turkey, which should NEVER happen unless they’re switching you to something else)
But aphobia doesn’t exist and asexuals are privileged, right?
Sorry to add to this but I wanted to say since I’ve had bad experiences with mental health professionals and biphobia, I usually get asked “but are you sure you are sexually attracted to both sexes, are you sure it’s not just an emotional attraction?!” Like my dude don’t you think I can tell the difference between wanting to date someone and wanting to be friends? Also, due to be gray ace 90% of the time I am not even attracted to anyone but like sure, make me feel guilty that I can’t “prove” my bisexuality.
Sorry too but to add on, being aro isn’t much different. I told my therapist and she was immediately concerned that my meds were repressing “all my emotions” and wanted to take me off them. My insurance ran out and I went off them bc of no money before that happened. She also suggested dating someone anyway to “fix” the “issue” and expressed concern that my emotions (romantic feelings) weren’t present because “I’m suspicious and untrusting of everyone and don’t want to try hard enough.”
Having your orientation medicalized and invalidated is bad enough, but its fucking dangerous to have your meds taken away because you’re not performing relationships the way some doctor thinks you’re required to.
Aaaand this is why we need the bi/pan/ace/aro alliance.
this is why we need to recognize more queer experiences and identities than gay and lesbian, through increased awareness, information and representation.
I scrolled for like five minutes and I saw maybe two exclusionist reblogs and comments. Where are they when aces explain how aphobia harms them?
I just scrolled through the ace discourse tag for thirty minutes and I’m so tired. Just… just let me spell it out here.
If you are attracted sexually and romantically only to women if you are a man, and only to men if you are a woman, you are straight. If you identify solely with the gender you were assigned at birth, you are cis.
If any of these things don’t apply to you, you are LGBTQ+. Period.
Asexual people are not sexually attracted to anyone. Aromantic people are not romantically attracted to anyone. Therefore, even if an aromantic person identifies as heterosexual and an asexual person identifies as heteroromantic, they are still not straight and are part of the community. End of story.
And it’s not some pissing contest about who is more oppressed. Different parts of the community face different types of discrimination and oppression. LGBTQ+ people band together because we are different from society’s norm. Why the fuck are we squabbling among ourselves about who’s different now?
If you are a Self-Confessed Tumblr Aphobe: Congratulations! You’ve succeeded in being a dick over the internet to somebody about their sexuality/romantic orientation! Are you proud? Do you feel good inside? Have you validated yourself via shitting on other people?
Well, in the real world and in IRL LGBTQ+ spaces, your opinions are just as stupid, wrong and unnecessary as they are online, only you don’t have a computer to hide behind and can tell aro and ace people just how much you hate them to their faces and see where it gets you!
tl;dr, aro and ace people are LGBTQ+, the entire ‘ace discourse’ is fucking idiotic, and if you are an aphobe you need to fucking stop. This community is a place where any LGBTQ+ people can be supported and validated, and if that doesn’t appeal to you, you can go make your own much smaller, shittier community full of assholes and gatekeepers.
Reblog to piss off an aphobe and make an ace person feel valid and safe in their own community.
reminder that there is nothing wrong with being asexual or aromantic. there is nothing wrong with being both. there is nothing wrong with being only one or the other. there is nothing wrong with using the split attraction model. there is nothing wrong with not using the split attraction model. there is nothing wrong with the split attraction model. there is nothing wrong with asexuality or aromanticism.
the split attraction model is not homophobic and if you think so you are misunderstanding it’s purpose and ignoring it’s history as a useful system for asexuals and aromantics to describe themselves
asexuality is not a blank slate which is “filled in” by romantic attraction
likewise for aromanticism
asexuality is, by default of not being a straight identity, an lgbt identity
if you think aces are straight because they don’t experience sexual attraction you are assuming that being straight is default, i.e. heteronormativity
yes, heteromantic asexuals are “straight asexuals” but they are still asexual, saying they don’t belong in lgbt because they only experience “het attraction” is ignoring that an important part of their identity is asexual
most of these arguments against us are anti-ace arguments we’ve basically heard a thousand times before, just twisted around to seem pro-lgbt. No matter how you word it, your argument is boiling down to “Aces are just straight special snowflakes” “Asexuality isn’t a real identity” and “Aces don’t experience any hardships and can’t be in lgbt because I said so”
Ace and aro spec people belong in lgbt, your identity is not just “essentially straight,” and you are strong for constantly having to deal with the violent backlash from the rest of the lgbt community
One of my biggest ace discourse pet peeves is when you ask someone what they think of ace and aro inclusion and they reply “cishets aren’t lgbt :)” like okay you obtuse fuck i didn’t ask you about cishets i specifically asked about ACES and AROS
You know, actually i think i know why people answer this way. If you’re an ~acceptably~ lgbt ace then you’re expected just to call yourself by your *~acceptable~* lgbt identity. And if, god forbid, your ace/aro identity means anything to you, then it must be because you’re a cishet trying to be special and steal resources.
So basically asexuality and aromanticism are being conflated as mere modifiers of your “real” identity rather than the stand-alone orientations that they are.
So yeah, like. Reminder that the only people who truly decide who is straight and who has straight privilege are straight people. You can claim an orientation (or lack thereof) is straight all you want, but the real deciders are straight people themselves and… guess what? Straight people overwhelmingly do not consider ace or aro (yes even the het ones) or aroace people straight.
You can cry about how aroaces or het aces and aros are straight all you want, it isn’t going to somehow make straight people actually invite ace and aro people into their little Straight Club or offer them straight privilege.
And that’s not even to mention the fact that forcing the label of ‘straight’ on people who neither identify as straight nor are considered straight by other straight people reeks of heteronormativity.
ifesbob 