Tag: aromantic

When I mentioned something about asexuality to my mom, without the label “asexual”, she said it was evidence that I was immature. She’s also told me multiple times that I’ll change my mind about relationships.

imjustlo:

I think we need to normalize the idea of marrying friends. I don’t mean in a “the best romantic relationships come from the best friendships” type way, though I do believe that’s true. I mean in a “I have zero romantic feelings for you, but I would totally spend the rest of my life committed to a future where you are my primary partner and maybe even raise a family together” type way.

Like, I don’t think it should be an aromantic-exclusive option, or a plan B when you and your best friend are still single at 40 and want to take yourselves out of the dating market.

I’ve heard it mostly as that backup plan, that “if I don’t find anyone, I’ll just marry Trish haha”, and I don’t think that’s even what I’m talking about normalizing. That’s a secondary outcome, seen as “giving up” on finding “real love”, and even if a pair of friends go for it, it’s plagued with this general feeling of “sub par”.

What I mean is that marrying a best friend (or having a committed intimate or emotional platonic relationship) should be seen as just as worth doing as marrying someone you’re in love with. It should be normal for teenagers to try as many committed friendships as they do romantic relationships. It should be normal for someone to say “this is my best friend and if everything works out, maybe we’ll move in together later” or “Trish and I have been roommates for two years now. We’re considering adopting soon, or Trish might carry a child!”

And as an aromantic person, it shouldn’t be strange for me to say “I prefer friendship to romance”. People should hear that and nod their heads like “that’s understandable. John feels the same.”

Hell, I see so many people expressing that they prefer their friends’ company to their romantic partner’s. “My friends understand me better and I think treat me better” and they’re expected to go home to this person, to marry and have kids with this person. It’s bizarre to me. Your platonic feelings for your friend aren’t inferior to your romantic feelings for your boyfriend, and if one of them treats you better than the other, I think you should probably rethink which one is your primary partner.

I also find it strange that it’s not more common in poly spaces for a friend to be considered a legitimate “partner”. In a world where friendships were just as likely to bloom into life partnerships as romantic relationships, I think polyamory would be much more commonplace. “I committed to Josephine about a year ago and now we own a home, but I fell in love with Joe about six months ago and we’re all trying to make it work.” Josephine shouldn’t have to worry about her partner leaving her for Joe just because their bond is romantic and therefore the “sensible” relationship to choose over the other.

I’m just ranting at this point, but I reiterate: committed friendships should not be seen as strange and “sad”, but as a legitimate option for a lifetime commitment. Not just for aromantics like myself, but for everyone. It should just be normal.

And not to be presumptuous, but I don’t think I’m alone in this thinking

Um no offense but how can an aromantic person date

Like I GUESS I can see why an asexual person could have sex because you don’t need sexual attraction to have sex I guess

But dating is inherently romantic like.. it’s just doing stuff together if you aren’t romantic about it. It’s not dating

wow another misinformed person who thinks that straight aces and aros are lgbt. why am i not surprised. not every one belongs everywhere. you can accept straight aces and aros, but do not tell them that they are lgbt because they 100% are not. lgbt spaces are for lgbt people case closed. maybe you should brush up on lgbt issues before you invite straight people to be a part of our community.

thatsthat24:

Please take a step back and listen to how you just conducted that sentence. I’m not quite sure where you’re coming from in life, but it sounds like you’ve been through quite a bit with your identity. So have I. And when I found myself a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I finally found a huge group of people who accepted me and supported me. I hope the same happened for you. And if not, I hope it happens soon, because everyone deserves that.

Consider people who observe no sexual or romantic attraction, which are legitimate identities, who feel wrong for one way or another. They’re asexual and/or aromantic, regardless of gay or straight, and that still falls under the A in the acronym, but I keep hearing that one half’s not different enough. Not oppressed enough. I would first say, none of us know everyone’s story, and there’s no way we will, so we don’t know what everyone has gone through with their identity. And second, since when did this community become about how oppressed we are? If we, as a group, achieve what I hope we can achieve idealistically and not be oppressed, are we still not a group to be proud of? Why wouldn’t we want this group to be an absolute celebration of all legitimate varieties? A celebration of all our unique experiences and struggles? They’re all different and valid.

Is this demographic of people with a legitimate sexual and/or romantic identity to make their own little group? To be made to feel like outcasts in the real world as well as in this group? I feel that this just furthers the negative, unfriendly attitude that already greatly exists in this world and I don’t wanna promote that. I just would think something like excluding would be for those who make us feel unsafe and that would only be on a case-by-case basis, not for a whole demographic who feel out of place and just want to belong, right? I don’t wanna be that way to people the way the world was to me. They’re not lgbt, they’re A, and that’s part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I can’t change what you believe. And you’re right, I can accept them! I shall, because acceptance in this community is what inspired me and helped me when I felt lost, and I want to be that for others. 

thecommunityoftrustworthysinks:

dare-i-say-an-aphobe:

ryttu3k:

pangurbanthewhite:

goodbyenorthernlights:

yall-aphobes-need-to-stop:

jinxii-infinity:

risotto-relatable:

loftwingpursuit:

pokemon-black-version:

aphobeasriel:

this pride month if i see ANY of you fuckers including ace/aro identities anywhere, if you even fucking say the words asexual or aromantic in any context of pride in any day this June, you have 0% of my patience and respect. this month isn’t for ace/aro identities and never will be. shut the fuck up.

It sure is June and I’ve never been prouder to call myself asexual

What a great day to be Asexual and Aromantic!

Wow aces and aros are so cool

Man I love and support all asexuals and aromantics this Pride!

The perfect month to shower my cishet ace fiancé in kisses and remind him every day that he’s part of our community and that I’m proud of him.

All asexuals and aromantics deserve to be proud of their identity and OP’s opinion of them is 100% irrelevant.

I know so many wonderful asexual and aromantic people. They and all the other asexual and aromantic people I don’t know deserve to be proud of their identity and have a place withing the queer community.

OP did this giant backtrack and claimed they were only talking about “cishet acearos and inclusionists”, so!

Happy Pride Month to cis aro-aces!

Happy Pride Month to cis heteroromantic asexuals!

Happy Pride Month to cis aromantic heterosexuals!

Happy Pride Month to grey and demiromantics and grey and demisexuals!

Happy Pride Month to all wonderful aspec people! ❤

happy pride month for all a-specs and none for op

what a lovely month to wear my ace ring and be proud of my ace self, and to shower my aroace friend with pride for them