thecommunityoftrustworthysinks:

blackoutcatharsis:

a-place-to-be-panace:

master-of-pocket-worlds:

abracataako:

making fun of asexuals ain’t funny anymore leave that shit in 2017

2018 is the year of supporting ace and aro people and welcoming them into LGBT+ spaces ❤

Please

Never was funny tbh.

please god im so tired of it

:

1. They are a marginalized orientation

One reason for the discourse is the disconnect between the definitions of the LGBT+ community on both sides. The anti aro/ace side claims it’s for same gender attracted and trans people only while the pro aro/ace side says it’s for all marginalized orientations and gender identities. The anti aro/ace definition also excludes bi people who aren’t attracted to their own gender and intersex people who want to be part of the community.

Based on the pro aro/ace definition, aros/aces belong since they are marginalized orientations. Aphobes claim aromantic/asexual are modifiers not orientations, but that’s not true.

2. They are not straight

Heteroromantic aces and heterosexual aromantics are not straight because heteroromantic heterosexuals (aka the Real Straights) do not see them as one of them. Aros/aces are seen as abnormal, wrong, and undesirable.

Aphobes use “if there’s no straight aces then there’s no gay ace!!!” as a gotcha, but even if a heteroromantic asexual identifies as straight, they don’t have the same privileges as a heteromantic heterosexual since they can still be targeted for being asexual.

3. They are discriminated against for being aro/ace

A-spec people are denied access to mental health care, pathologized, dehumanized, sexually assaulted, coerced into sex, erased, etc.

The other side of the discourse says this is all misdirected forms of other oppression, but this argument makes no sense. By their logic, thinking being gay is a mental illness is misdirected ableism not homophobia. It also ignores that people are being targeted specifically for their aromantic/asexual identity.

4. They are wanted in the community

Many LGBT+ organizations include aromantics/asexuals and they are wanted in the LGBT+ community.

Further Reading: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

pennywiseagainstcgl:

“Im ace/aro” doesnt mean “Its gross when other people feel/express romantic/sexual attraction and shouldnt do it”

Saying i dont like beetles doesnt mean i think no one should ever like beetles.

thewoodsattheworldsend:

one-eyed-pom:

autismserenity:

blazinaces:

shrapnel-to-the-heart:

Honestly how are the ace/aro communities even doing any harm to the LGBT+ community?? People keep saying that they’re “taking LGBT resources” but like… people aren’t gonna use same-sex/gender resources if they don’t apply to them?? Like what even counts as a resource anyway?? All we’re doing is showing up at pride events and making blog posts?? The only argument as to why we shouldn’t be included is because we’re not oppressed enough….? We don’t want your resources or whatever we just want to be accepted as part of the community

Just to add to that, if we were using LGBT+ resources, how would that be a waste?? Like if that’s something we need then the resources would still be going towards helping someone.

If an aro/ace person needs to call a hotline specifically because of their orientation, then that’s not a waste.

If an aro/ace person needs to see a therapist/counselor/supports for LGBT+ people because of their orientation, then that’s not a waste.

If an aro/ace person needs to stay at an LGBT+ shelter because their parents kicked them out, or their spouse/romantic partner/friend/etc tried to used corrective rape to “change” or “fix” them, or are without a place to stay for whatever reason, then that’s NOT a waste.

OK so like by the way guys

In the nonprofit industry, by and large, having MORE clients using the resources you offer is a GOOD thing.

I think this should be signal boosted to the stars actually.

Because in my experience, most people, no matter what the resource is or who it’s for, try to avoid using it and tell themselves it’s not for them.

Like, even something like a queer youth group. Even people who are definitely sure they “count” will so often be like, “I mean, I don’t really need support or anything, that’s really for other kids.”

The main exception is if all your friends already go and it feels like just a normal thing to you.

Nonprofits are usually bending over backwards trying to include anybody who might possibly ever need their resources even the tiniest bit!!!

I know this from both working and volunteering in the nonprofit field for over 15 years btw. Everything from queer youth groups in SF and Hayward to environmental law firms.

(And this is a really dense, high population area with an extremely high cost of living. So there’s no “sure, but in most places there are more people in need.”)

And part of the reason they’ll bend over backwards to include everyone is that they really really really want to help as many people in need as possible, and they don’t want to risk losing anybody who even sort of counts.

But guess what?

A BIG part of the reason is MONNNEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY.

THE MORE PEOPLE THEY SERVE, THE MORE FUNDING THEY GET.

I am gonna repeat that.

BOTH GRANTS AND DONORS GIVE MORE MONEY TO NONPROFITS THAT HELP MORE PEOPLE,

and also,

MANY GRANTS REQUIRE AN ORGANIZATION TO HELP A CERTAIN NUMBER OF PEOPLE EVERY YEAR.

And even in a super queer, super dense area like this, we’re always trying to find more people to help.

If you have a really really specific situation like a homeless shelter, then yeah, ONE of the services they provide (beds) is finite. But even then, they want to help as many other people with clothes, food, support groups, job counselors, or whatever else they have to offer, as possible!

When they have more people they help, they get more funding and visibility, and they can hire more people TO help. It creates jobs and gets them into a positive cycle (the opposite of a vicious cycle) of helping more and more people!

P.S. When a nonprofit like The Trevor Project trains its volunteers to take calls from aces and/or aros… which is the main example I see her thrown around as “they’re stealing our resources!”…

That’s not an example of aces/aros stealing things. They got nothing to do with it. That’s am example of a nonprofit seeing a need and deciding they want to fill it.

It’s incredibly disrespectful to ignore nonprofits’ boundaries and act like they aren’t able to make their own decisions about who to help. It’s disrespectful to everyone involved.

Also will mention, when it comes to LGBT safe spaces, cishet aces/aros aren’t likely go to those spaces for support if they are violently homo/bi/transphobic. And even then, transphobic gay people and (to a muuuuuuch lesser extent) bi/homophobic trans people go to those spaces too. 

It’s so two-faced to use possible phobia as an excuse to exclude cishet aces and aros when those scenarios can exist. And if this does happen, just ask the individuals creating the problem to leave!! I’m so tired of this excuse being thrown around when all aces and aros deserve spaces to get away from straight people.

Remember Aces and Aros, they say you’re not LGBT and thus you can’t access LGBT resources because they’re praying you’ll be so crushed by their “logic” that you won’t ever look into it. 

Oh no, the real world’s not tumblr, oh no. Ace and aro exclusionary people don’t get to decide who is LGBT and who gets access to resources. Oh no, oh dear.