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toxic 📢 friendships 📢 are 📢 just 📢 as 📢 traumatizing 📢 as 📢 relationships 📢📢📢
this gained 3k notes overnight and it makes me deeply upset how many ppl have been scarred by toxic friendships 2017 better b good to you all or imma beat its ass
hey, hi, hello! this is my first self help masterpost which i made bc i was supposed to me studying bc who cares if i fail my exams ur mental nd physical well being is worth more and if you see this then ur worth everything and i love you a lot and hope this masterpost helps you find your way ❤
·
Go into
the bathroom and remove all of your clothing. I have fat that gathers into
massive love handles, stretch marks on every bit of skin that isn’t flat. But
when my clothes are all off, with no fabric to bother me, no illusion of what
my body looks like and all I can see is myself, I feel better. I feel more
wholesome. Maybe you will, too.
·
Run your
hands over it, turn around. Have no illusion of what your body looks like. It’s
not as bad as you think. Get a good picture in your mind of anything you want
to attend to. Make a list if you need to, only about your body.
·
Brush
your hair through, if you have it.
·
Put your
hair up and out of the way, if it’s long.
·
Floss and
brush your teeth very well. Take your time on this. Do it twice if you need to.
Your breath won’t feel as thick, you won’t feel as heavy.
·
Put on
lots of chapstick or balm right afterwards
·
Wash any
parts of your body that you need to.
·
Blow your
nose until there’s nothing left, get it all out. You’re probably clogged up.
·
Clip your
nails, take off any old polish. Push your cuticles back.
·
Wash your
hair, if you want to.
·
If you (like to)shave, shave everything. You’ll feel weightless. Only fill up the bath a little
bit and do it over the edge. You’ll just feel dirty if you sit in hair.
·
Drink a
full glass of water. Don’t sip, don’t chug. Just don’t set it down until it’s
gone.
·
Dress
yourself in whatever way you feel ready for the day. Yoga pants, sweatpants,
t-shirts, dresses, shorts. Whatever way that makes things easier.
·
Eat. Eat
something. Don’t pull random bits of food from random boxes. Prepare it at once
and sit down. Take this time to rest.
·
Get a
drink of your choice, as long as it isn’t alcohol. As a matter of fact, if
there’s alcohol on the counter, put it away. Don’t look at it. It will only
give you a headache. Make yourself chocolate milk, water, a smoothie, a soda,
whatever sounds nice.
·
Sit on
the floor and forget about everything you need to think about. Set a timer for
exactly one minute. Close your eyes, and during that one minute, pay attention
to how your body feels. Ask yourself these questions. Am I sore anywhere?
Stretch this bit out, put more pressure on it. Focus on your muscles. Keep your
back completely straight. Did I eat enough? Think about your stomach. Focus on
your breathing. Listen to the air. Can you hear the sound of your lights? A
ceiling fan? Your joints? Don’t open your eyes until the time is up. This
minute will pass very quickly.
·
Get a
good old fashioned piece of notebook paper and a pencil. If you don’t have that
use your phone or computer. Make a list of every little thing you need to do.
Everything matters. Every errand, homework assignment, thing that needs
cleaned, health issue… all of it.
·
Do it
now. Check things off as you go. As you see things disappear, your head will be
more clear.
·
Don’t
forget to take your pills.
·
If you’ve
been putting off your homework, fix yourself a snack and a tall drink of
something warm. Get all of the supplies you need. Sit down and plow through it.
If you need help with homework, message a friend, a family member, even message
me. I’ll try and help you. It won’t take as long as you think, your mind is
just cluttered. Repeat to yourself “this is what I am working on now. This is
what is important now. I will feel lighter when I am finished.” Even if the
assignment is due in a few weeks, more than likely it is too much to do in one
night. Split it up into quarters. Work for one hour, and if you’re close,
finish it off. Give yourself this one hour.
·
You don’t
have to make your bed, but take off the blankets and shake them out. If there’s
crumbs on the mattress, vacuum, or wipe them off. If you have dirty clothes,
put them in the hamper.
·
Now that
your day is free, deal with your social problems. Is there someone you’ve been
meaning to apologize to? Something you’ve upset? Something you’re unsure of?
You have all of the rest of the day to deal with it. Take your time.
·
Before
bed, pay special attention to your face. Wash it, clean your ears, put on acne
medicine, moisturize it. Anything on your face that needs to be attended to.
See how beautiful you are? Your skin will drink it up, it will look better
tomorrow. Do this constantly.
·
Listen to
songs you haven’t in a while. You forgot that one verse, the reason why you
kept it.
·
Make a
list of questions. How does a remote work? Why do we have toenails? What is
this word? Look them up. They’re right there to know.
·
Ask for
help
·
It’s fine
to cry. I feel warm in the face afterwards. I feel smaller afterwards, less
huge. Less of a problem. You need to understand that we want to matter, but
when we mess up we don’t want it to matter. It goes both ways. You are the most
important person. Your mistakes only have weight to you. Nobody minds as much
as you think they do.
Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.
IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.
So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.
And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.
^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is
Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.
There’s also a really good group on Facebook called “Narcissistic Parent Answers” that I would recommend. They makes posts about how to stay safe, and also explain narcissistic behaviors (which has made me go “holy shit that’s what that was” multiple times) and helps reassure the victim that it isn’t their fault.