Tag: abuse

cordolia:

theysbian:

Unpopular opinion that shouldn’t be unpopular: anti-bullying programs in school that don’t address the root causes of bullying – which are almost invariably larger forms of bigotry and oppression like racism, ableism and homophobia – are completely useless and ultimately futile.

kids get bullied, frequently, because they’re “weird”. but it just so happens that the traits society calls “weird” are overwhelmingly related to poverty, minority religion or ethnicity, neurodivergence, non-straight sexuality, and gender non conformance. 

funny, that.

girlfriendluvr:

ppl on this site rly excuse anything with mental illness or neurodivergence huh… ive seen everything from “you cant call me out for racism bc i have anxiety” to “i can like vile shit like killing stalking bc im autistic and its my special interest” to “i can display blatantly abusive behavior but its fine bc i have bpd” and now fucking “dont say animal abusers are bad bc some ppl kill animals bc of mental illness”

like i promise you the VAST majority of mentally ill and neurodivergent people are not fucked up weirdos. maybe the reason youre doing this shit isnt ur mental illness, its bc ur a shitty person lol. stop crying “ableism” whenever you are rightfully criticized for your shitty behavior. thats not what ableism is.

inb4 i get called a “neyrotypical katen” or whatever, im not nt lol

nonbinarypastels:

don’t trust anyone who thinks they’re incapable of ever being abusive

don’t trust anyone who thinks that because of some aspect of their identity (their gender, their sexuality, their age, their race, their class, whatever) it means it’s impossible for them to be abusive.

don’t trust anyone who thinks that because of the things they’ve been through in life (that they were abused themself, that they have abuse survivors as friends or family members) it’s impossible for them to be abusive.

the point of this post is not to scare y’all or to make you feel like there are predators on every corner but to make you understand that if you are ever in an abusive situation and your abuser deflects and denies that what they’re doing to you is abuse by claiming any of these things (that “how can i be abusive? i’m ___!”) that they are 100% full of shit and you should not buy what they’re telling you.

anyone of any identity and any background could potentially be an abuser and people who deny that are not people you should trust because even if they’re not an abuser themself, they’re still pushing an agenda that inherently denies the lived experiences of abuse survivors who have been abused by the people they say are incapable of it and that’s still a shit thing to do.

newvagabond:

infiniteragequit:

sothisistherapy:

ericfvckingharris:

Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.

This is so important.

Abused kids speak a language you can’t learn

My heart races when I hear someone sigh and then the adrenaline takes forever to wear off. I hate having these reactions even when I know I am safe.

disgraceful-hag:

people say “if you don’t lower your standards, you’re gonna end up spending your whole life alone!” like being a healthy, happy, financially independent single adult is actually worse than being stuck in an abusive and/or emotionally unfulfilling relationship with someone who isn’t willing/able to meet your needs. like no offense, but I think I’m gonna choose to be happy rather than throwing myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. 

antiblackness:

i feel like everybody has potential to change and grow but if you’re an abuser people have the right to remember and know you only as that because that’s part of who you are, and the results of your treatment are apart of who you made your victims become. once you’re abusive you can’t take it back and say “i’ve changed” you literally ruined somebody’s life, to them you’ll always be an abuser and it’s not something you can decide to say you aren’t anymore. you don’t make those calls.

power-of-sky:

shrineart:

earlgraytay:

kimksdiaperbooty:

kelliestarr:

advicefromsurvivors:

There’s something intensely unhealthy going on when parents discourage age-appropriate independence. A 13 year old should probably be allowed to go see a film with their friends most of the time. A 16 year old should probably be allowed to drive/ride a bus/bike to a friend’s house most of the time. An 18 year old should probably be allowed to travel overnight with their friends most of the time. A 20+ year old should be allowed to come and go as they please, with some common-sense “Let’s talk this ‘move to Finland’ plan of your over before you follow through on it” exceptions.

Parents should want their children to enjoy going out and doing things on their own and with their friends. They should be delighted that their child wants to have a life of their own. A rich, fulfilling life outside the home and distinct from parents and family is important, and parents should want their child to have that.

Today on “I think a white person wrote this”

Umm…No. this isn’t a “white person” issue. I’m Black & EVERYTHING she just described in the post is 100% relevant. We gotta stop writing off discussions about unhealthy & overly strict parenting as “white people shit”. It’s so old and tired. 😒

A rich, fulfilling life outside the home and distinct from parents and family is important, and parents should want their child to have that.

I had an 8pm curfew even at age 19. I had to ask to go over to friends houses still. I was maybe allowed out once a week, twice if lucky and never on school nights. Getting rides to events was bargaining and begging.

The result? I literally had no idea how to be social and my social anxiety was through the roof when I moved out.

When I was told no and had to stay home? Most of that time was spent watching TV with my family and being told not to talk. This was said to be family time but interaction was frowned upon unless on commercial break so you didn’t get any real conversations of substance. But then I got made fun of or fussed at for going to my “cave” because I was bored and wanted a quiet place to chill.

I also didn’t have a lock on my door until age like…18-19?

Kids should ABSOLUTELY be allowed life outside of the house. It’s limiting to them to teach them they’re not allowed independence or that they have to beg for independence. 

Only on Tumblr can a discussion about child independence lead to “y’all be white”

luckycavy117:

kingharlevigilante:

Y’all really gotta stop throwing ya boyfriend’s video game systems in pools and cuttin up they shoes and lighting they clothes on fire just because you mad or you want his attention bc if he responded by throwing them $100 eyeshadow palettes in the pool or cuttin up a brand new lace wig you gon be pissed as hell, as you should be. It’s not cute, it’s abusive. And you need to fuckin stop

Say it louder for the parents who think it’s okay to destroy their kids stuff as retaliation for disrespect