orangememesicle:

my-little-overwatch-universe:

orangememesicle:

the idea that all coping mechanisms are valid and completely immune to criticism is honestly one of the worst things on nd/mentally ill tumblr.

just because you’re doing something to cope doesn’t mean it’s not hurting you, or that it isn’t hurting others.

sometimes, coping mechanisms hurt other people, like compulsive lying or constantly expecting your partner to give you reassurance every second of the day. sometimes, your coping mechanisms harm your recovery even though they feel good at the time. sometimes, your coping mechanisms just further entrench you in whatever you’re struggling with.

stop defending unhealthy behavior with the justification of “oh it’s just me coping”. you’re not permanently chained to whatever harmful bullshit you do.

Stop trying to separate people from their illnesses it’s ableist as fuck. If I’m having an episode and lash out it’s literally not my fault. Do you think I asked to be this way ??? Ableist prick

are you real? i don’t think you are, but i’ll bite

then it’s your job to find healthier coping mechanisms so you can reduce the harm you do to people. you’re not alone on this planet, other people are affected by your behavior, and if your mental illness causes you to hurt other people, it’s important on a moral level that you get help or at the very least do some serious introspection.

this is the kind of thinking that encourages abuse. keep that shit under control. if someone starts screaming at me or telling me that they’re going to kill themselves if i leave them, i’m not gonna care why you’re doing it or that you’re having an episode or whatever.

it’s not my job to accept abusive behavior, it’s your job to, y’know, not be abusive.

rainbowloliofjustice:

someoneintheshadow456:

fierceawakening:

geekandmisandry:

coochyena:

adult-female-with-aspergers:

feministism:

Just so know know this is something people with borderline personality disorder may do and this post is ableist. Sometime the person will accidentally kill themselves trying to get the other person to stay. They have an intense fear of abandonment.  The more you know https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to5qRLRSS7g

as someone with bpd, yes we do have an intense fear of abandonment, but if we do shit like this it is STILL TOXIC and STILL SHITTY. this post is absolutely not ableist. yes, seek help for the person in question immediatley but DON’T let them manipulate you like this. they need help, but you are not responsible for them and if anyone treats you like this (especially repetitively) you are in an abusive relationship. y’all are truly fucked up for making people think that they’re ableist for getting out of a toxic relationship.

I just…also as someone with bpd like… We still know, like… Right from wrong? Yeah, I have an intense fear of abandonment, yeah it is tempting to use self harm to regain that control, yeah I’ve done it when I was younger. Doesn’t make it less manipulative, or abusive. You are still using it as a tactic to try and control another person to the detriment of their health and safety.

Like, those who excuse this and actually defend it are just huge red flags to me.

Cool motive, still abuse.

This.

This thing.

This right here.

THIS is why when people say “my morality is Different From Yours because of my neurodivergence” I flee screaming.

Because I still get flashbacks to

“bye honey, sorry I have to cut our Skyping short tonight, I REALLY NEED SLEEP.”

*phone rings at 1am*

*blinks, rubs eyes* “…zmuh?”

“I’m going to swallow all my pills RIGHT NOW unless you talk me out of it.”

I did so, and continued not to get sleep. Because if I got sleep, she might die. And her life itself was more important than me being well-rested.

Later I left. She’s not dead.

Or at least, she wasn’t months later, anyway. 

Just telling everyone online that she’d found a new wonderful gf and her old one was trash.

My rapist and abuser of a “best friend” may or may not have had undiagnosed BPD. She had extreme abandonment issues which lead to the aforementioned rape (she wasn’t even attracted to women, she only did it because I confessed to her that I was bisexual and she felt that roping me into a sexual relationship would be the best way to get me to stay with her). 

She would use said abandonment complex to also coerce me into sex (”You don’t love me then!” “You owe me a best friend!” “Oh so I guess you don’t want me! You just think I’m like the others…”). If I tried to convince her to back off, she’d scream at me, mentally and physically abuse me, the whole shebang until I got so afraid that I’d just let her do whatever. 

I tried to leave her because her controlling-ness was so scary and she had a screaming crying rant and even threatened suicide on FB. That was when I knew I had to run. 

This happened when I was 18. This girl took my innocence and gave me a pathological fear of people getting close to me and emotions as a whole because my brain just goes “LOVE = PSYCHO WEE WOOH STAY AWAY.” And Tumblr has the gall to say it’s “ableist” to criticize people who act like her.  

Idk how to tell some of y’all that, mentally ill or not, you cannot force people into being in a relationship with you. 

Sure being mentally ill =/= abusive but being mentally ill is no excuse to be abusive.