hi reminder that traumacore isn’t an aesthetic or romanticism. it’s vent art n a form of coping, artistic expression isn’t glorification, just because someone makes art out of their struggles n trauma doesn’t mean they’re glorifying it. STOP telling trauma survivors n those with mental disorders that their form of coping is ‘wrong’, STOP telling them that they cannot put their feelings into art. traumacore is a healthy coping mechanism so stop dictating those who use it. it’s invalidating and disgusting, shut up n mind ur own fuckin business.
okay so i know there’s a whole bunch of discourse on how azula’s personality is at least partially fuelled by ursa having seemingly loved zuko more than her but like
i don’t know, man, parents are still human and they aren’t perfect and zuko was always a little boy with a gentle heart who just couldn’t keep up with his great prodigy little sister who was therefore clearly heavily favored by ozai, and ursa felt the need to protect zuko because she was legit afraid of azula which was totally fair a) because of azula’s own behavioral tendencies which started very young and b) because azula must have reminded ursa so much of ozai
and tbh as someone who grew up abused and with siblings who took after the abusive parent and was not protected from them, lines like “my own mother thought i was a monster” don’t hit the same way because, yeah, i get azula was only a child but ursa was right and ursa was probably also terrified of ozai which would make her even more afraid of azula and sorry not sorry but i just can’t blame her for wanting to keep zuko safe and making that such a high priority, and of course azula is perfectly entitled to have been negatively affected by that but to me it just doesn’t feel like much of an excuse for how azula turned out at the end of the day and ozai is still way more at fault for that and at least ursa had any good intentions at all ever in her life
this is on my mind again because i just had a massive breakdown last week about how much i still desperately wish i’d had an ursa in my childhood (some of you never lived in such a very specific parent-sibling continuing-the-cycle abuse hellscape playing the starring role of physical and emotional punching bag who was at fault for being the weak and timid one and it shows) and just
hi yeah this is hardcore an ursa stan blog, ursa defense squad for life
(and i’m even just gonna ignore for the time being there is literally no evidence at all that ursa didn’t love azula and just go with, as the zuko of my situation, she did her fucking best and we should all be so lucky to have a parent who actively cares about their hurt child that much)
Seeing unhealthy patterns in your family and deciding that those pattens end with you and will not be passed down to future generations is an extremely brave and powerful decision.
Forgive yourself for repeating what was taught to you as a child, then put the conscious effort into deprogram these patterns.
i learned that according to a study, strict parents can turn their kids into more effective liars because children who are afraid to tell the truth learn more deceptive behaviors to avoid getting in trouble (x)
what you allow will continue, so make sure you aren’t tolerating cruelty, manipulation, unkindness, lying, etc. this isn’t a justification by any means, but people will do what they can get away with: don’t let them get away with treating you bad.
Can we just… normalize teens loving their parents? Like obviously you’re not obligated to if your parents are shitty, but damn, I love my mom. She’s there for me all the time and sure we have rough patches but honestly she’s the greatest. Like. We need teens to know that they don’t have to hate their parents just cause.
It must be nice to come from a nonabusive family. One that doesn’t traumatized every emotional interaction to the point where you drive away any sign of love as a form of manipulation because that’s all that you were raised with. 🤷♀️
It is.
Reading Comprehension
but loving ur parents is already normalized and its the kids w/ abusive parents that actually have to deal with misunderstandings and ignorance from others regarding this topic.
Hey there, I’m talking about the trope where it’s seen as super uncool to like your parents that was literally pushed on teens through the media since the culture shift in the early 60s. The post has nothing to do with abusive parents. I was abused as a kid and honestly if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse this has been a psa
“if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse”
Teen with abusive parents: I hate my parents
Teen influenced by society: Me too mine are the worst
The takeaway for teen 1: This is normal and it’s supposed to be this way
The takeaway for teen 2: My friend’s parents are like mine
The takeaway for any adult listening: All kids who complain about their parents are just being rebellious
Filed under: yikes, get a new girlfriend, doubleyikes
A classic example of what abusive behavior in women can look like. This isn’t cute or sweet or just for anyone’s own good, this is controlling.
Young gents (and wlw and nb folks interested in ladies), if your girlfriend or prospective girlfriend presents you a list like this (especially in writing), you crumple that shit up, drop it at her feet, remind her that you are not property, and walk away.
This shit isn’t funny or cute when a man does it to a woman; do not tolerate it just because it’s coming from a woman.
I’ve commented on this post before but I’ll keep saying it –
Do not throw something like this out
Keep it. Hide it somewhere safe that you’ll find it again – like where you keep your tax receipts, for example. Keep it in a plastic bag and touch the actual paper as little as possible to preserve fingerprints. Maybe write the date they gave it to you on the bag itself.
Should the person who gave you this try anything to harm you after giving you something like this – this piece of paper is evidence of their harmful intentions. If it comes to the bringing any kind of authority into your situation, without this piece of paper it could just turn into a huge ‘he said/she said’ situation and that’s not a situation you want yourself to be in. Especially if the other person is a good enough actor.
This is the bare minimum of decent human behavior for ANY gender. If you are an adult and someone who is not an adult wants to have a relationship with you, it is your duty to, at bare minimum, turn them away.
and like… having crushes on adults is a Normal Adolescent Thing, but it doesn’t mean they’re ready for–or for that matter, want–an actual relationship with said adult. it’s a goddamn developmental phase for kids working out their sexuality, and treating it as a chance to get laid is fucking monstrous.
ifesbob 