-hitting/slapping your boyfriend
-being possessive of your boyfriend
-not letting him see his friends
-making him put you over family
-guilting him into buying you things
-manipulating him into getting what you want
-calling him names, degrading him
-making fun of him
-stealing his credit card
-stealing his money
-alienating him from his female friends
-checking his phone
Feel free to add more to the list
-drugging him to have sex with you while he’s unconscious -checking any of his social media accounts -any invasion of privacy
I’d argue that most people don’t view drugging anyone with anywhere near the normalcy of most of the rest of this list.
That would be absolutely correct @lastsonlost even if she got called out like I saw had happened, there were still people praising her and looking for tips.
Stop parents from emotionally manipulating their kids by saying things like “i buy your food and put clothes on your back” like you were the one who chose to have a kid shut ur fucking mouth
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
I vote whoever made that post shouldn’t be allowed to have children in case they have boys and decide to abuse them.
If they’d abuse boys, they’d abuse girls
You’d think so, but I don’t doubt that there are some feminists who are so deep in the whole manhating thing that they’d abuse a boy just for being a boy.
Believe me I see more than a few people defend this type of behavior and it makes me paranoid. It makes me feel like I’m playing Russian roulette and I may not survive again the next time.
Exactly. And as someone with anxiety DONT YOU DARE FUCKING DO THIS. THIS IS SHITTY AND ABUSIVE.
Shout out to male abuse victims this Manuary.
I really hope you’re doing fine. It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK to be angry at your abuser/s. Fuck people who say men can’t be abused. Your struggles are real. You’re great and I hope you’re having a good day.
another reminder to traumatized people who live with their abusers: you’re worthy of love, respect, and patience. if you’re an adult and you haven’t been able to take care of yourself and you’re more dependent than you’d like, you’re not a waste of space and resources,
you’re not a failure, you’re not worthy of abuse, criticism, or “tough love”
you’re struggling. you’re trying the absolute best you can. and the fact that the people who are supposed to be your support system won’t acknowledge that is not on you. their perception is not your reality. your reality may be affected by their perception because they’re hurting you, but what they think you’re dealing with and the effort they think you’re putting in is not your actual, very valid, experience. you’re working hard. i know it.
Hi, fellow survivor here. I’m trying to put together a mixed media art presentation featuring a drawing of a person (which will be a random drawing of a person based off of your description-NOTE THAT THE DRAWING WILL NOT LOOK LIKE YOU, JUST HAVE SIMILAR TRAITS SUCH AS EYE/HAIR/SKIN COLOR, FRECKLES/NO FRECKLES, GLASSES, AND HEIGHT/BODY SHAPE/WEIGHT. NOTHING TERRIBLY SPECIFIC UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO.) next to a summary of or the full story of what happened to you.
This is a really important project to me, as I’m doing it as a way to raise awareness of F-F and F-M and F-perpetrated rape/sexual abuse and assault/violence in general. You will be completely anonymous (UNLESS YOU EXPRESS OTHERWISE), and I am taking stories/descriptions both in my messages/inbox (I’M LEAVING ANON ON), and at my email: corelilaclaw@Yahoo.com
I’d really appreciate this getting a signal boost from @nunyabizni, @iicraft505, @astral–nymph, @typical-atheist-scumbag and feel free to tag anyone else you think might be able to make this post reach more survivors of female perpetrated sexual and physical violence!
It’s worth mentioning that even if you don’t want your story included in the project, I would still be more than willing to lend an ear to you.
“everyone eventually becomes their parents” is not deep and profound it’s terrifying and it’s bullshit and abuse survivors dont need to hear that shit thank you
…but is it true? 😦
you do not have to become your parents. it’s a bullshit statement pretentious fucks give because they want people to think theyre cool and edgy and deep. you have the ability to grow from what they did to you and you have the ability to chose to never repeat the cycle again. it’s something you actively work towards, not something that just happens. you are not your parents and you are not the awful stuff they did to you.
My father’s mother was abusive, to the point she abandoned six of her kids in Chicago and moved South, never contacting them again. She beat him in front of his friends and took any money he earned.
All of her kids left her, if they stayed with her, before they even graduated high school.
But my dad is the NICEST man I know. He’s a sweetheart, and while he doesn’t know how to voice that he cares, he shows it in other ways – making gifts by hand, spending time and money with me, sitting down and watching my favorite shows even when he’s not interested.
He’s never EVER raised his voice or laid a hand on me. He can be strict, but first and foremost, he’s always concerned and never fails to let me know he loves me.
NO. You do NOT have to become like your parents. My dad is a huge example of that.
You CAN stop the abuse cycle. All you have to do is know what’s abusive, and what to do instead, that’s emotionally supportive and healthy (most kids never know what that is because it’s never shown to them).
Not everyone but lots of people do. Not everyone, and you definitely don’t have to.
ifesbob 