“If youre not hiding anything youll let me look through this” is a gross manipulation tactic
You have every right to keep your stuff private, it is natural to not want people, no matter how close they are, going through your phone/papers/conversations/pictures.
Dont let them trick you into feeling bad because youre a human who wants privacy.
I hate this. Things like this scare the shit out of me.
Yes a parent should be protective. No they should not STALK their child.
Yes a parent can get upset at a child. No they should not flip out or let their anger make them out of control, or take out their anger on their child.
Yes a parent can lecture and maybe the kid feels like their parent is driving them crazy – but after the last two statements forgive me if I don’t exactly trust these definitions.
A parent should never be their child’s worst nightmare. A pain sometimes, ok, but not a nightmare.
And the idea of a parent “stalking” and “hunting down” their child is horrifying. If you were a good parent, maybe your child would have communicated whereabouts upfront with you already.
And the last statement is the worst. “I will subject you to terror and treat you like my property…. Because I love you!” No one would ever put up with this from a partner, a friend, even a grandparent…. Why is it suddenly okay from a parent?
So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog
my parents do the same thing it’s torture
As a parent, you don’t get privacy until you are on your own. My house, my rules, my money, my decision.
Don’t like it?
Too bad.
I am the parent here. I’m not your friend. I’m your father.
Literally kids are not your prisoner??? There’s a difference between being protective and being controlling.
“You don’t get privacy until you’re an adult” like what the fuck. You’re one of those piece of shit parents that thinks taking away bedroom doors and making their kids hold sandwich board signs on busy roads is appropriate punishment aren’t you? Children and teens are still fucking people and still deserve respect. If you can’t even respect your child how do you expect to teach them to respect others?
AS A PARENT YOU DON’T GET PRIVACY UNTIL YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. If I suspect you’re doing drugs or talking to someone way older than you or sneaking out at night, your privacy becomes my business. You’re living under MY roof, and I bought that computer, that phone, and pay for the service that runs it. Sorry, Charlie. It’s my job as a parent to make sure you’re safe and I will exercise the UNALIENABLE right to invade your privacy.
The mindset parents have of “my house my rules / I bought you that phonecomputertabletetc so I can go through it” is a huge contributer to anxiety, depression, self harm, and suicide in kids and teens and if anyone is defending, condoning, or practicing that behavior I hope to god they get their kids taken away from them. Nobody deserves to grow up under an iron fist of emotional abuse.
dude it’s one thing to be looking out for your kid and another to be like “privacy doesn’t exist because you are vulnerable and i am in a position of power.
being overprotective of your kid is NOT going to help them. it’s fucking savage.
my mom let my sisters and i do whatever we wanted [obvs within reason] and punished us when we did bad shit and we came out just fine. we’re honest people and nothing fucked us up. my friend with overprotective and invasive parents? she sneaks out for a social life. she can’t let people touch her things without almost crying because her dad would confiscate her things as she was using them to make sure she wasn’t selling drugs or sexting. sometimes she compulsively lies about small things and admits to lying later because she knows it’s was stupid to do it in the first place and she developed OCD from her father reprimanding her for not being clean enough [even though she’s a spotless person] she will have anxiety attacks over being in a messy environment because of the panic her dad put into her while growing up. she’s almost twenty and you know what she did? she asked me to cover for her so she could go on a date. SHE IS TWENTY NEXT MONTH AND ASKED ME TO LIE TO HER PARENTS IF THEY ASKED ME WHERE SHE WAS. she was on a date!! dating! because she was afraid her dad would fucking ground her. the sad part is, he probably would have if he found out! they created an environment of distrust and she has to fight it to be able to hang out with people who weren’t even gonna get her in trouble.
yall wanna be like “privacy doesn’t exist for children and teens. no teens can be trusted.” but fact is, you’re gonna force your kid into being untrustworthy because you think it’s healthy to be controlling.
sorry. you’re a shitty parent. unless you have proof or grounds for violating privacy in order to keep your kid safe, you are abusive and controlling and a sack of shit for having 0 respect for your children.
My dad threatens to take my door away from me for having it closed. I’m a seventeen year old female, and he has threatened to take away my door.
when i was a teenager, i wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone, so my father would hand me a little bag of change and force me to call home from a payphone every single time i left somewhere and again when i arrived at the next place. that means if i went to the mall, i called when i got there. then if i wanted to go across the street to the Walmart i had to call and tell him so. then i had to call again when i got to the Walmart! if i had a bunch of stuff to do, i could go through the entire bag of change in one weekend – if i could even find enough payphones to call him from. his explanation for this lunacy was that he wanted to be able to find me anytime, anywhere. he also liked to randomly show up at my job to make sure i was there, and the first time i spent the night at my best friend’s after i got a car, he drove past the house no less than eight times, and called no less than four times. one of those calls was to ask where i was because my car wasn’t visible from the road – and when i explained the turnaround i was parked in was behind the house, he told me we’d “better not go anywhere or have friends over”. like, what the hell were we going to do? have a drunken orgy while my friend’s grandma was sitting in the next room? we ended up playing chess in the front parlor all night with all the lights on and the curtains open so he could see us if he drove by.
and what, exactly, did i do to deserve this? not a fucking thing. i didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t sneak out, didn’t do drugs, didn’t skip school, nothing. in 13 years of public school, i had one detention – for being late too many times. that’s it. i never did a single thing to make him think i was untrustworthy and i got stalked for it.
when i graduated high school, my father told me if i was going to go to art college on his dime, he was going to have a say in the classes i took and what i did with my free time – he even went so far as to tell me if he ever dropped by the campus, i’d better be in my dorm doing homework or in class, and if i got a grade he didn’t like, he was going to pull me out of school, bring me home, and basically keep me a prisoner with no phone, no tv, no visits with friends until i graduated from the local community college. faced with another four years of stalking and abuse, i moved out and worked in a factory until i could be considered an independent student, then went to the art college i’d always wanted to – on my terms.
my father died last May and i hadn’t talked to him for a year, hadn’t seen him for two, and before that i hadn’t had any communication with him at all forfour.
the moral of the story for you “my house, my rules, you don’t get any rights” parents is: stop treating your children like shit or you’re going to die alone, and you’ll deserve it.
Also, here’s a very important thing: a lot of abusive people will not show their abusive side at all in front of non-victims. Perhaps your friend claims her mother is emotionally abusive, but when you meet her mother, the woman is very sweet and generous and makes for great conversation and even treats you guys to ice cream or something.
Abusive people are alarmingly good at coming across as perfectly good people when they’re not alone with their victims,. They can flip like a switch between being scary and being amiable. Some might even go the extra mile to turn people against you, making it seem like you’re just being selfish and they’re not at fault. The two-faced act may not always be intentional, but that doesn’t make it any less damaging. In fact, it can make things worse because people may not believe you and you may not get the support you need.
So, if someone tells you that their parent/significant other/etc is emotionally abusive, and your first thought is “But they were so nice when I met them!”, this is probably what’s happening. Please don’t dismiss them just because you may have had a positive experience with someone that makes their life hell when you’re not looking. Listen to them.
Reptile people check this out, beware of this woman
This is the face of an animal abuser.
Lisa Presnell (@pagesandpaper on instagram) frequently uses paint on her snake, Lars. To look at him you’d think the poor reptile was about 5 months old because he’s so tiny and malnourished. He obviously isn’t being fed enough. He’s actually 2 years old. He has stuck sheds which are incredibly uncomfortable for snakes and can cause serious health problems for them. He is also slightly blue from paint not coming off properly.
Lisa Presnell is an animal abuser.
She does not care for her snake, she abuses him and uses him as a prop to make money from her sponsors. The poor animal is underweight and has skin problems, and is balled up in most of the pictures. Ball pythons only do that when they’re scared.
Lisa Presnell has abused her snake so much he is living in constant fear.
There is NO NEED TO PAINT A SNAKE. Mine is never painted in any of the photos I take. It being a Nontoxic paint for humans is not an excuse because it being Nontoxic for us is not the same for animals.
Please share this post, report her on Instagram, and make it known that animal abuse of any kind is not okay.
This is absolutely horrible and blatant animal abuse. You wouldn’t paint your dog, and you ABSOLUTELY wouldn’t paint a snake. I hope she gets reported and learns a damn lesson. That poor baby.
“It’s not abuse if you’re not doing it intentionally” is such a coddling piece of horseshit.
It’s comfortable to act like your intentions matter more than your actions is comfortable to reassure yourself that you’re not abusive because you’re a good person.
But it’s just not true, and it’s not accurate to the psychology of abuse. Most abusers don’t get up in the morning, smile at themselves in the mirror, and say, “I’m going to hurt this person today because I’m an evil monster.”
They self justify. They warp their own memories to make themselves look like the good guy. And yes, sometimes, mental illness distorts the way they see their own actions.
Look, it doesn’t matter if the reason you threatened to kill yourself if your partner leaves you is because of your abandonment issues. The effect on that person is going to be the same as if you did it out of pure malice. Punching walls and threatening people isn’t less harmful if you do it because of your anger issues.
The world isn’t split neatly into puppy-kicking abusive monsters and innocent mentally ill people. It just isn’t. And I know it’s not fun to watch your own behavior and ask yourself if you’re hurting people, but it’s necessary. You need to hold yourself accountable, both for your sake and the sake of others.
i really dont think people understand that bullying = abuse.
if you “”“"bully”“”“ someone in college or, just, anywhere else it is called harassment and assault and abuse, but in schools of course they need to make a shiny new word for it because otherwise they would have to admit that there are abusers in their schools, going after their vulnerable and often disabled or otherwise easy to victimize class mates. that they are enabling abusers, siding with them, and enabling them.
and we cant have that, can we?
Well, they’re siding with them regardless of the word used, and really anyone who thinks bullying is okay anyway is a piece of shit
ifesbob 