butchcommunist:

Gay people that you think resemble stereotypes are living, breathing human beings who are, generally, living in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them. The fact is that a lot of stereotypes about gay people come out of the real behaviors and tendencies of real, living gay people- a lot of lesbians are in fact hairy feminists, a lot of gay men do in fact hold their wrists limply, a lot of gay and bisexual and transgender people are very visibly gender nonconforming in ways you maybe find embarrassing because it makes them stick out, but if you’re embarrassed by these people that’s really your own problem and your own cross to bear, not the responsibility of every single other LGBT person in the world to recognize and organize their lives around, potentially at the cost of being able to live a life that feels meaningful and healthy for them. Every single time you want to complain about a total queen you saw at pride or how everyone thinks lesbians are all manly, take a second to remember that those stereotypes come out of the lives of men and women who were physically assaulted in the streets and fired from their employment and who lost custody of their children and who were beaten for not owning and wearing enough items of properly gendered clothing and instead be grateful that some people, the queens you find embarrassing, chose to be out when they could have chosen to die in silence and would have spread themselves a lot of pain by doing so. I’m so fucking sick of watching gay people apologize for each other, and I am so so grateful for all the women who came before me who paved the way for me to be someone who owns literally no women’s clothing and does not have to fear for my safety every time I leave the house and who can be open in public about the fact that I am partnered with a woman that I love.