the dumbest fucking thought I had while half-asleep this morning:
villain: I shall now use this machine to pinpoint the location of every person you love so you can WATCH AS I FREEZE THEM WITH MY EVIL MEGA ICE RAY
hero: wait no-
machine: dings immediately, showing the location of the villain
villain: um
hero: *beet red* it’s not like– I don’t– *sighs* You’re just so passionate about your interests. And nobody talks to me, y’know? My family doesn’t approve of this whole hero business. I’d be so lonely if I didn’t have you. I mean, sure, we’re mortal enemies. But I’d be upset if something happened to you.
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ifesbob 