ADHD and autism is basically being considered rude for the dumbest reasons
those reasons are usually 1. ADHD/autistic person didn’t literally read your mind for the Correct Social Cue(s) 2. ADHD/autistic person has a need or a boundary that doesn’t actually harm anyone, but it’s not a Correct Social Cue thing so you think they shouldn’t
3. ADHD/autistic person forgot/didn’t realise/doesn’t know/is just too damn tired to perform the Correct Tone
4. ADHD/Austistic person struggled to understand/ needed a seemingly obvious thing clarified or explained to them and got accused of sealioning/asking in bad faith.
5. ADHD/autistic person got infuriated by Bad™ Sounds™/Textures™/Images™ and tried to keep from reacting, but still slipped up once, and because it’s not a Correct Social Reaction to a Correct Social Cue, they got everyone upset at them for “blowing up over nothing” before they had the chance to apologize.
6. ADHD/autistic person tried to imitate Correct Social Cue but didn’t quite do it Correctly, and now the person they were interacting with thinks they were being dismissive and condescending instead of the reluctant-but-accepting they were trying for.
7. ADHD/autistic person couldn’t spare the brainpower to identify their emotional state until they burst into tears for no discernable reason. They didn’t even feel the need to cry and still don’t, but their body won’t stop. This results in the other person becoming convinced the ADHD/autistic person is trying to guilt-trip them, which in turn guilt-trips the ADHD/autistic person for not being able to stop crying on demand.
8. ADHD/autistic person physically couldn’t stop themself from internalizing a vaguely-negative comment, and then couldn’t focus on anything but the comment. When the others nearby try to regain their attention, they likely won’t be able to without losing patience, which makes everybody’s moods worse once the ADHD/autistic person can see them.
i could go on
9. ADHD/autistic person has learned to perform Correct Social Cues through mimicry, but the people they mimicked don’t perform them Correctly for the group the ADHD/autistic person is currently in so it comes across as wrong.
10. ADHD/autistic person heard a stray comment that sent their mind on a tangent and they burst out with an observation that seems wildly inappropriate for the moment but makes perfect sense to the ADHD/autistic person, because that’s where their train of thought led them.
4 and 10 hit different😔
Let me just add
11.) ADHD/Autistic person tries to calm their emotional upset by stimming and now everyone thinks they are being rude/ignoring them to do a seemingly pointless task that they don’t understand the reason of and ADHD/autistic person isn’t calm enough to explain to them.
12. ADHD/ autistic person answers with the truth to a question thinking it would be helpful but apparently is the Wrong Moment To Be Honest™ and the other part get upset
THAT. THAT’S THE WORST ONE.
13. ADHD/Autistic person asked how they can help. Somehow this is the wrong thing to say
OKAY MAYBE THAT IS THE WORST ONE, FOR REAL THIS TIME.
Published
ifesbob 