roswell-newton-vargas:

roswell-newton-vargas:

I’m gonna say something really problematic that’s gonna make me hemorrhage followers, but I don’t care because I’m fucking angry.

The way that women I was friends with have started treating me now that I’m deeper into medical transition is cruel and strange and unacceptable.

Feminism taught me I’m allowed to take up space, and I don’t have to take shit from anyone, and that my thoughts and feelings and art matter. Understanding that I was worth more than whether or not cishet men found me fuckable, that I didn’t have to let my body define me, these were all things that helped me realize it was okay that I was trans, that I didn’t have to be what everyone wanted me to be because of how I looked.

And now these same friends and this same community that taught me so much, people I’ve fought for and with my whole life, are telling me to be quiet again when I worked so, so hard to be heard, and it’s exhausting and alienating and weird.

I’m not saying that misandry is real or that men as a Class are oppressed, but the failure to recognize that trans manhood is different from cis manhood and that it’s not as simple as, “You’re a man now, so I’m retroactively revoking your right to speak about your trauma,” is just… real transphobic and lame.

I don’t want to be in women’s spaces or take over women’s discussions; it isn’t about that. I mean shit like real life, actual friends, who have known me my whole life, telling me it’s not my place to talk about things like abortion and sexual assault, because they think having he/him in my social media bios somehow grants me the kind of privilege that cis men get.

And I know things will be more complicated than that when I start to pass or I’m treated as a man consistently somewhere other than the internet, but like.

Dude, it was less than a year ago that somebody doxxed me and threatened me with physical violence and called my house calling me the d-slur every day because I refused to send him pictures of my tits, and you really wanna tell me I that don’t know what it’s like to be harassed by cis men?

I don’t have a point to make, really, or a solution, but like…

I just wish people who I thought had the same values as me weren’t like, “Hm. You’re yucky now,” or that I could talk about my experiences without people thinking I’m “admitting” to “really” being a woman.